Hi all, I was signed off for 10 weeks before my maternity leave with anxiety. I always intended to go back and repay it at least for 12 weeks.
Since I had my baby (she was born at 35 weeks and has a managed condition which requires medication x3 per day) so many awful things have happened in my personal life; family bereavement (beloved FIL), lockdown with a 3 month old which was so isolating, my best friend was diagnosed with cancer had all her procedures alone because of covid had a total mental health breakdown and died which was utterly devastating, now another very good friend is really ill and it doesn't look good. My Mum was shielding throughout and I was so alone through it all. Now my other friend is really poorly I just dont feel I have anything left in the tank. I love my baby and honestly don't think I have PND. But this year has been so traumatic I can't face going back to work, I have to use public transport and work with the public (charity retail sector) 36hrs per week. We cant afford to pay my maternity leave back either but I just can't leave my baby because Im terrified I will bring Covid home and I will either make my baby sick or my Mum will catch it - she was going to do 2 days of childcare for me but if she catches C19 she will die. I had an email from work saying I have to give 8 weeks notice if Im not coming back and pay them 5K and I feel like Im going to have a panic attack just thinking about it.
Does anyone have any advice? I honestly feel totally frozen with panic about it and dont know where to start. Appologies for the long post!
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I can't return to work and cant afford to pay back my maternity enhancement, help!
21 replies
Herstorynerd · 11/09/2020 16:28
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