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Would you travel far for work when you have just had your baby?

(16 Posts)
kandymouse Tue 02-Oct-07 12:00:22

I'm interested in other mom's opinions.

I'm a concert pianist originally from Korea. Lived in many different countries performing and studying and finally settled in UK with my husband and had our first baby in June 2007. She is gorgeous and now a thriving three month old baby! We are very happy here except that I haven't had a good job offer in England at all and a famous university in Korea has offered me a professorship starting from next September. It was a shock at first because it's such a tempting offer (a dream job) and if I hold that position for maybe two three years, I could get a better job in UK as I would have experience as a professor. And also I could see more of my parents just for a while as I would live with them while I hold this job. It would mean that I would have to leave my husband and our girl who would be a bit more than one year old (My sister in law would look after her happily), and go to Korea to teach for longest maybe three months, and come back to see them for term break and vacations. I'm torn between my passion and ambition as a pianist and teacher, and feeling as though I would be horrible mother if I left my girl for other people to look after her and if our bond might fade, and also Korea being so far from UK. HELP!!

callmeovercautious Tue 02-Oct-07 12:03:12

Personally I could not do it. Can you all relocate for the few years?

flowerybeanbag Tue 02-Oct-07 12:06:20

My point of view would be that you have the rest of your life to get dream jobs, your passion and ambition can be fulfilled later, your baby is only this age once.

Wait a few years and don't do it unless or until you can go as a family.

Sorry that's a bit blunt, but you did ask!

CristinaTheAstonishing Tue 02-Oct-07 12:08:02

Couldn't you take the baby with you and leave only your DH behind?

taGHOULah Tue 02-Oct-07 12:08:59

Could you not take the baby with you?

3 months is a long time to leave a child of that age.

Hulababy Tue 02-Oct-07 12:13:55

No way I could or would want to do it. Not even now DD is older at 5yo could I do it.

Any reason why you can't all relocate?

flowerybeanbag Tue 02-Oct-07 12:16:10

Hang on, the job is for 2-3 years? So you would be living apart from your little girl for that long, just coming back at holiday times?
Sorry, I just saw 3 months.

Anna8888 Tue 02-Oct-07 12:19:48

I wouldn't even be able to contemplate it - your baby is only a baby once sad

LIZS Tue 02-Oct-07 12:29:13

Not unless you can all relocate, is that a possiblity ? As others have said there will be other opportunities to get a good job, perhaps when you least expect it, but no second chance to be a mum to your dd as a lo. You would quickly become a stranger to your dd let alone your dh, no matter how often you tried to visit or keep in contact via www.

SuperMonkey Tue 02-Oct-07 12:36:07

Sorry, no, I couldn't do it. I'm struggling with the concept of going back to work and being away from my DS during the day.

goingfor3 Tue 02-Oct-07 12:37:38

Take her with you.

herbiemom Tue 02-Oct-07 13:06:26

Couldn't leave my LOs for 3 days let alone 3 months! Couldn't you take her with you? Would your DH consider relocating?

HonoriaGlossop Tue 02-Oct-07 13:35:51

I think that would be a sad state of affairs for your little girl. She couldn't fail to feel rejected at her mum going off for months at a time. To all intents and purposes her aunt would be her mum.

I would say differently if her dad was to be looking after her full time.

Or, I would say another possibility would be for her to be in Korea, with you, and her grandparents.

BetsyBoop Tue 02-Oct-07 18:37:47

I couldn't do it

I also couldn't take her with me if DH was staying in the UK, not fair on their relationship either

chocolateshoes Tue 02-Oct-07 18:49:42

For me it would have to be all of us or none of us. There would be no otherw ay.

kandymouse Tue 02-Oct-07 20:26:52

thank you for all your answers. It has cleared major personal issues for me. I won't be moving to korea at all I think as her grandmother won't take her on but she wants me to come on my own (she is a bit mad, but that's another story). Thank you very much again.

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