Offered I review - now pregnant!

(16 Posts)
mads20 Mon 20-Jul-20 09:59:44

Hi all, just after a bit of advice really. About 3-4 weeks ago I applied for a job through my dads owned recruitment agency, there was threat at redundancy in my office and I have felt like I needed a bit of a new challenge anyway. Well since then the employer had put a stop on things, my job was secured at my new role and I've found out I'm pregnant! Currently 5 weeks.
Today the employer has asked to interview me and I don't know what to do!! I don't feel like it's the right time to start a new job especially as I've just found out they are moving which would mean a 45min-1 hour drive every morning (at the moment I do 30mins) and of course with a baby coming up I'm not sure it's morally right to take a new job knowing I'd be needing to leave on maternity!
In any normal circumstances I would just decline the Offer but it's my dads business who is arranging it all and I can't bear to mess him about, if he knew I was pregnant he would of course understand why I wouldn't want to go ahead but I'm not ready to tell anyone yet as it's very early days and I'm still so anxious. Half of me wants to go for the job as I know it would be a substantial salary increase and a better opportunity for me but I'm just so torn as I a) don't know how soon the office would be moving and b) how morally right it would be to take a job knowing I was pregnant?! Please can someone help as it's just made so tricky given the fact everything will be going through my dad!

OP’s posts: |
mads20 Mon 20-Jul-20 10:19:09

Meant post title to say "offered interview" but not sure how to change that

OP’s posts: |
okiedokieme Mon 20-Jul-20 10:23:00

I would go for the interview and see if you feel it's right for you, you might not get the job anyway

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese Mon 20-Jul-20 10:23:36

There's nothing wrong with going for an interview and declining the job if offered.

Could you go, have the interview and tell your dad on a "need to know" basis?

PragmaticWench Mon 20-Jul-20 10:26:05

Why would you put your career opportunity on hold because you're pregnant? Don't shoot yourself in the foot, go for the job!

RJnomore1 Mon 20-Jul-20 10:28:15

I get really annoyed when I see people saying they can’t go for the job because they’re pregnant. If you’re the right person you’re the right person. As a recruiter I want the best person there and as a woman it’s morally wrong for me to feel I can’t apply for something because I’m a woman.

The travel etc is a different issue. Long term it’s worth it for career progression but sometimes it’s too much short term.

Haffdonga Mon 20-Jul-20 10:31:05

I think you'd messing them around far more by attending the interview for a job you don't intend to take than by declining the interview. How bloody annoying for them if they don't shortlist the next candidate on the list because of you, they follow up all your references. They spend an afternoon interviewing and scoring you only to find out you had no intention of taking the role.

No, just politely and gratefully decline the interview and explain to your dad that the situation has changed at your current job. In a few weeks he'll be very pleased to know why.

Plus, it would look extremely cheeky fuckery taking the interview just because it's daddy's agency when it's quite clear you are not a serious candidate. You'd embarrass him a lot more.


Haffdonga Mon 20-Jul-20 10:34:34

And to add, I'm not saying don't take the interview because you're pregnant. I'm saying don't take it because you don't want this job at this time.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese Mon 20-Jul-20 11:05:27

@Haffdonga don't you think interview experience is far more valuable? They've shortlisted her, I'd say give them the courtesy of attending the interview, better that than late cancellation or no show, both of which I've dealt with when recruiting.

Like @RJnomore1 said, if you're the best person for the job they won't care if you're pregnant.

It's better to attend an interview unsure of if you want the job than to not do it for the same reason.

Haffdonga Mon 20-Jul-20 13:50:54


An interview would be great practice for the OP all things being equal, but her dad's agency rep is at stake here. Their reputation will be based on putting forward excellent solid professional candidates. If this candidate appears keen and then turns down the job she will look flaky and the agency will look unreliable. I'd be majorly pissed off with an agency if I was recruiting someone and the candidate they put forward turned the job down because they'd actually never intended to take the job.

Plus OP herself could lose credibility and damage her own future prospects in the industry.

Only go for the interview in good faith there's a good chance you'd accept the job despite knowing about the longer commute and losing maternity pay.

mads20 Thu 23-Jul-20 13:43:15

Update guys - I went to the interview and got offered the job today!!! I loved it and they would be an amazing company to work for. Is it morally right to accept knowing I'd be taking mat leave when my probation runs out?!

OP’s posts: |
FluffyKittensinabasket Thu 23-Jul-20 14:25:01

I’m a bit confused, why are you morally wrong taking a job when pregnant? Any company would get rid of given half the chance, look at the millions of people who have recently been made redundant.

You wouldn’t be entitled to statutory maternity pay but you could claim maternity allowance.

You are also very early in pregnancy at the moment.

kittenpeak Thu 23-Jul-20 14:29:08

Congratulations. It's not wrong at all. I'm in a similar position. It will be an awkward 5 minutes telling your employer. And you might feel guilty, but it's not wrong. As PP says tho, you won't be entitled to SMP, just MA (it's not much worse!)

hoolahoolahoop Thu 23-Jul-20 14:31:31

I think if you really loved the job and you'll go back after mat leave you should take it. Congratulations on both fronts.
The employer probably won't be jumping with joy to hear you aregoing for Mat leave as only just started in a 'we've now got to cover your position when we'd just found someone and trained them up' way but it is what it is and things happen

TJ17 Thu 23-Jul-20 14:38:40

Take the job.

People are always worried about being loyal to a company but the majority of the time the company isn't always that loyal to the individual! If they need to make a redundancy to save money they will do it, they don't think twice about morals!

You gotta do what's best for you in these situations.

Also you've got a good few months yet before you'll need to be off again! If you want to be helpful tell them as soon as you are comfortable to do so.

As someone else has said though, check what you are entitled to maternity wise as you might not have been there long enough to be entitled to certain things.

choccychar Fri 11-Sep-20 07:41:05

@mads20 Hi! Wondered how you were getting on and if you had told them the news yet and how it went?
I'm now in the same boat. Didn't know I was pregnant, found out after second interview and job offer received yest. Said I'd let them know today if I accept.

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