DPs been warned about time off ... BUT...

[kitsandbits]

He went to the doctors today and has been diagnosed with depression

Hes on tabs and apparently its quite bad and he has to go see a cognitive therapit once a week for 8 weeks.

Hes really down and didnt go in.

Can they fire him ifhe takes a few more day to get himself together?

He had a warning about 3 months ago (but had lots of problems with ill kids and myums cancer - he doesnt take days off for no reason - just alot of shits vbeen going on)

and its all caught up with him.

We cant afford for him to loose his job (obviously)

[lulumama]

has he been signed off? not going in will look a lot worse than actually being signed off by the GP. what tabs and dosage has he been prescribed?

sorry he is not well

[kitsandbits]

its citro-something ipram

theyre down stairs, 10mg of them. She said start on them then come back after a month.

Hes not been signed off no. He just didnt go in himself today as he cracked last night and made an appointment first thing.

[Dropdeadfred]

if he's unable to work the doc shouls be able to sign him off

[kitsandbits]

but can they fire him?

[Dropdeadfred]

has he had a verbal warning or written?

[lulumama]

citalopram

10 mg is a relatively small dose, they take 2 weeks or so to start to work

TBH, he should try to get to work and stay in some sort of normality and routine, staying at home may not be the best thing.

and i say that as someone who suffered extremely badly from depression.

[kitsandbits]

i know lulu - ob she didnt want to start him off on a high dose - she said lets see what it does

Hes not talking long term, just thur- fri then the weekend - and back on monday.

im worried because i dont want him to get fired buti dont want to 'make him' go in if he doesnt feel up to it iykwim. I dont want to put pressure on him.

[lulumama]

tough call

if his work are unlikely to be sympathetic, and he has already had a warning, he should try his very best to go in. and then maybe they will react more favourably if he does need time off . how much time off had he had before his warning? and how long has he been at his job?

[TheDuchess]

Is there something at work bothering him? I'd echo the advice about keeping to the routine if possible. Is there an underlying issue?

[bookthief]

When you say he just didn't go in did he phone in sick or just not turn up? If the latter he needs to let his employers know if he's not going to work or they will sack him for being awol. To be on the safe side I'd get a doctors line including for today.

[kitsandbits]

Hes been there 2 years.

I think the job IS part of it, its a very mundane skilless job, i think hes bored of it. But thats not the reason for him feeling like this.

He feels its mostly heriditary - both his parents go through boughts of it - and his brother sufferes severely from both depression and anxiety.

[kitsandbits]

Oh no he phoned them!! He wouldnt just not turn up!

[flowerybeanbag]

How long's he been at his job kitsandbits?

And with his warning, they should have put a sort of time limit on it, it would expire and be taken off his file after, say, 6 months - if it's still active on his file, they can progress further down the disciplinary route, next level of warning etc. I would be surprised if they did that for just a couple of days off though.

He doesn't need a doctors note for just 2 days, but I would definitely recommend getting one anyway if work are already not happy about his absence levels.

[TheDuchess]

Maybe it is time for a change of job then. Does anything trigger his depression?

[bookthief]

Phew! Sorry, but loads of people at dh's work do (just not come in that is) and then wonder why they come back to a disciplinary.

[lulumama]

do you think he could change his job? it is one stressful thing he can change

[flowerybeanbag]

Sorry x-posts, 2 years there they can't just sack him then without a proper procedure. They can as I say take further steps down the disciplinary route though, but would be surprised if they did if it's literally 2 days off.

[TheDuchess]

you might have to pay the med cert though, just so you know

[kitsandbits]

I dont think its one thing - just a mixture of everything blurring into one without seeing an ending to it. A job change would be good - we both left college tho and hes not trained - no alevels ect so its really hard to find anything.

Its a shame because hes super clever - got 11 GCSEs all as& bs mostly , but with us having to 2 kids now he feels its too late to do 'anything' as we need steady money coming in/

[flowerybeanbag]

Something else to bear in mind, he may well come under the Disability Discrimination Act, which means his employers are obliged to make reasonable adjustments, so I would think they may be a bit more careful about further discipline because of absence related to his depression.

[Dropdeadfred]

with 11 gcse's he should be able to get something more skilled than he thinks..

[lulumama]

off to bed now, hope your DP is on the mend very soon x

[nooka]

Does his work have occupational health? Might be something they can help with. Re the education side of things, I don't know if you would be eligible for any government help with training schemes - sometimes there are some good specific short courses that can be taken in the evening, or through on line or distance learning maybe? It might not be the best time if he is feeling low, but possibly worth exploring? I am assuming that there aren't many opportunities at work. Sometimes it doesn't take much to get on the skills ladder.

[tiredemma]

what would he like to do? if he did leave where he works, what kind of work would he ideally like to do? ( shame to waste 11 gcse's)

there is nothing more soul destroying than being a job you hate

[kitsandbits]

Just to let you know he went in xx