Moving on from discrimination

[AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo]

Hi, I won’t bore anyone reading this with the whole backstory and this may be one for the mental health board instead.

I am in the process of agreeing a settlement agreement for disability discrimination. I have a very strong case and the protected conversations so far acknowledge this. The agreement covers a year’s salary and injury to feelings (which I realise is good, but in no way compensates for the loss of a very specific role and profession that I am unlikely to ever return to). We are also agreeing a reference. The alternative is to continue with the final employment tribunal, which several solicitors and the judge have indicated is likely to succeed, but will mean another year of waiting, worrying and not getting any further forward.

I think I’m reasonably at peace with settling my case at this stage. But what I am really struggling with is the emotional fallout. It’s crushed my confidence. I actively avoid seeing former colleagues - avoiding them if I see them in the supermarket etc. Part of this is sensibly wanting to avoid a conversation and disclosing anything I shouldn’t. But a much bigger part is feeling ashamed - thinking they’re imagining I’ve been sacked/was caught doing something bad/was incompetent etc and that I can’t defend myself and put them straight.

I wonder if anyone here has been through similar - left under a settlement agreement for something that was entirely their employers fault? How did you feel afterwards, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to put your side across? Worrying what others would make of it?

[whatisforteamum]

I had this in my 20s.Sexual harassment resulting in me settling out of court.I was told I could probably get twice the settlement of I did pursue it but I wanted to get better and have some financial safety net.
I seriously missed my job and my confidence took a.tumble.I had to focus on what I had and rebuild my health after panic attacks left me housebound.You just have to put the whole chapter behind you.Good luck.

[february08baby]

are you me? I'm literally in the exact same situation although my protected discussions (I have been told) are likely to result in a confidential admission of guilt but no exit package, so I stay employed .

Due to my disabilities it will be extremely difficult to find alternative employment and any exit package would very likely run out before I found anything else - it could take years.

Are you in a union? I'm getting union help. They say I have a good case but some elements are time barred . I'm no legal expert but I know a tribunal will be stressful so I'd rather have a settlement too.

I don't want to stay employed there so I think the only thing that will get me through each working day will be job searching, job searching, and more job searching and hoping something comes up soon. Unfortunately I'm in a niche profession which it sounds like you are too.

What is also helping me is that when I go into a new job, wherever that may be, I won't have any history there, and it will be a fresh start. I have anxiety as one of my disabilities but I don't worry about bumping into people from my team as they live in other parts of the country (we are a national organisation).

Hand hold OP. I have had the shittiest year. I have been on LTS and finances mean I'm having to go back soon and see those people who literally made me suicidal.

I'm terrified but the thought of a settlement, the fact I'm currently appealing my grievance, the fact my union believe and support me, and the prospect of eventually moving on are all things that keep me going.

I've lost a lot of weight with stress. Every cloud eh?