What you do in this situation ?

(2 Posts)
XYZ100 Sun 26-Jan-20 23:30:23

I am a working parent with 8 yr old, started a contract role almost a year ago where I found the work was messy as it wasn’t done properly previously. At the same time the head of my department started showing some interest in me, I thought he was just being friendly but his intentions were sexual. At a work drinks party he touched my sleeve and shoulder, i thought it happened by chance and should ignore it. He thought I did not understand what he means and came to my desk, sat down next me pushing his leg against mine with the pretext of asking a query and said do you get the message on a Friday afternoon. I was horrified and got a bit shaky with anxiety but couldn’t share with anyone just in case I was wrong, I cannot discuss these with my husband as he will just go crazy.
After a few weeks he started staring at my breast for sometime in another meeting with him, this is when his intentions were clear but I tried to convey that I am not interested in this which made him angry. He cut down a resource in my team which increased work load for me to manage and eventually couldn’t cope with work. Now they say that I am under performing covering for other roles, is this really fair and what sort of world does a woman live in 2020?
If you deny to have a relationship with your boss he can literally ruin your life, life is very unfair and depressing !!! I am stressed about work, stressed about my boss as to what he will do next to trouble me. I do not wish to complain about this to anyone as they might ask for evidence which I don’t have. I am kicked out for poor performance although I worked long days and weekends, I want to move on but worried about references for senior role and how it can ruin my life. What can you do for personal references for senior roles? What would you do if you were in my situation ?

OP’s posts: |
strictlymomdancing Mon 27-Jan-20 08:51:56

Tell your husband. He may be angry but he'll be more angry that you kept this from him. You need his support. He's your husband.

Join a union asap and/or get a lawyer - see if your household insurance has legal cover. Then get the union or lawyer to handle this for you because it appears that claims of under performing are being used to cover his behaviour.

Normally I would say go to HR but I think in this case you should get union or legal help first.

Another option is to be signed off sick with stress and use this time to job hunt. I wouldn't stay in such an environment so you can either quit or if you can't afford that, get signed off sick.

Good luck.

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