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Shitty texts from boss

(35 Posts)
SapphosRock Sun 22-Dec-19 16:37:48

Been at my company 3 years. Been managed by current boss for a year. He’s a micro manager but otherwise ok.

I’m currently pregnant and suffering with HG - been in hospital 3 times and had to take quite a bit of time off work. All signed off so no issues. Been back at work a month and seriously struggling. Still vomiting multiple times daily, can’t get through the day without meds. They’re not supposed to be taken long term and starting to give me side effects like tremors and stomach pains. Boss knows this and has been reasonably flexible and allowed me to WFH some days so I don’t have to take the meds.

So here is the issue. I have booked a total of 6 days of annual leave over Xmas and NY. Was struggling so much with the sickness and I thought a proper break might help get me back on track. Boss knows this and signed off the leave.

Our business closes between Xmas and NY and we are supposed to save some annual leave to cover these days - however I made a mistake and booked one day of extra leave I wasn’t entitled to. Complete accident - I thought our online system accounted for the Christmas closure but it doesn’t.

Boss texts me on my personal phone asking me to cancel a day of leave and come into work next week. I reply to say it’s not possible as I’m away with family and ask to use a day from 2020 leave allowance to cover it.

Boss sends shitty text to say he’s disappointed it’s come to this, suggests I took an extra day on purpose. Says he will arrange for the day to be deducted from my wages and i will need to take it as unpaid leave.

Does this seem unnecessarily heavy handed?

Nobody ever actually works at my company on Xmas eve. There’s food laid on, we do games and quizzes then everyone leaves before lunch so despite counting as a working day it’s not like I’m missing vital stuff.

Does anyone know if doctors can sign patients off retrospectively? My doctor knows how ill I’ve been so would probably do this if it’s allowed and I could take the time as sick leave rather than annual leave.

I’ve ignored his latest text but tempted to reply to say I’m disappointed with the way he’s managing me.

He also didn't bother to wish me a merry Christmas or get me a token gift - something I always do for my own team members!

It's making me dread going back next year.

OP’s posts: |
GoodDogBellaBoo Sun 22-Dec-19 17:09:37

YABU - you made a mistake, an honest one but that doesn’t matter. He is right to deduct the day from your wages. It also doesn’t matter that the others just play games etc, they are still there and are lucky to get paid for it. You are not there so you won’t get paid.

GoodDogBellaBoo Sun 22-Dec-19 17:10:58

And you are not that sick that you are at home in bed, you are away with your family.

lovemenorca Sun 22-Dec-19 17:11:22


Betterbegoing Sun 22-Dec-19 17:16:13


ElloBrian Sun 22-Dec-19 17:16:38

Uh ... you made a mistake with your days, it’s perfectly normal for a company to deduct the excess wages in these circumstances.

tallulahhulah1 Sun 22-Dec-19 17:16:36

I'm quite lucky as my work deduct to time period from our allowances on the holiday systems. I think you are just going to have to suck this one up as it was your mistake.

Just apologise and take it on your chin. End of the day nothing more you can do as you said you are away now.

Theneverendingcleaningcycle Sun 22-Dec-19 17:21:43

Yep you're just going to have to suck this one up and apologise.

PixieDustt Sun 22-Dec-19 17:22:00

He also didn't bother to wish me a merry Christmas or get me a token gift - something I always do for my own team members!

Oh give over. Stop being so entitled.

You made a mistake and perfectly normal to take a day unpaid.
Why would you sign off sick when you're going away with family? I get you're having a rough ride with pregnancy but you're not sick as you're going away fconfused

Newfloorlamp Sun 22-Dec-19 17:23:52

I know how awful hg is OP (after 2 hg pregnancies myself) you'll be feeling vulnerable and emotional right now. It's so hard to endure and tough on your mental health. Just try and brush this one off and don't let this ruin your Christmas it's not worth it. If you say sorry to your boss, it was a genuine mistake and unpaid leave is fine hopefully he'll leave it there and you can switch off from it all and rest up. Getting enough rest and break from stress really does help with the vomiting even though the nausea stayed for me. Hope your family are looking after you well, this won't matter soon you'll have maternity leave and your baby to focus on. All the best, you should feel so much better after the birth, the newborn stage was a breeze for me compared to nausea and vomiting all day every day.

SapphosRock Sun 22-Dec-19 17:25:13

It's not having the wages deducted I'm so bothered about - it's bosses attitude.

I was trying my best to be a good employee and take annual leave rather than take more time off sick. He saw me struggling into work, rushing off to the toilets to be sick etc.

I don't think texts on my personal phone telling me how disappointed he is in me was necessary considering that I was trying my best.

OP’s posts: |
ShirleyPhallus Sun 22-Dec-19 17:28:28

Sorry but the time off for HG and the time off over Xmas are completely unrelated. You made the mistake with your holiday days which you should have checked. He’s been pretty good to have noticed it and agreed you can take it unpaid. In some organisations they wouldn’t notice beforehand and if you didn’t turn up, it would be recorded as unauthorised absence.

I have a holiday spreadsheet for myself saved locally so I always know how many days holiday I’ve taken, I wouldn’t rely on the system and make assumptions on what the system accounts for and what it doesn’t

Hope you’re feeling better, HG is hideous

FruitcakeOfHate Sun 22-Dec-19 17:28:34


Ineedaweeinpeace Sun 22-Dec-19 17:30:46

So you’ve created extra stress for him Over this Xmas period by making a mistake and it’s his fault for calling you out on this? Hmm.

I’d be telling you to get someone to cover you or be in and wouldn’t be sorting it out for you.

SapphosRock Sun 22-Dec-19 17:35:14

Oh okay looks like pregnancy hormones have got the better of me. I'll apologise to boss and accept the wage deduction with good grace. Thanks for letting me know before I made a fool of myself blush

OP’s posts: |
lovemenorca Sun 22-Dec-19 17:38:04

Good on you OP, right decision and will probably serve u well in the long run

lovemenorca Sun 22-Dec-19 17:38:48

Although stop thinking about it as wage deduction

Wage correction due to an error you made

mrscampbellblackagain Sun 22-Dec-19 17:43:04

It was a mistake and your boss could have been nicer about it for sure.

Hope you feel better soon!

BlueBirdGreenFence Sun 22-Dec-19 17:47:02

Heavy handed would have been telling you to either get your backside into work or face a disciplinary for taking unauthorised leave. It was a honest mistake on your side but he could done worse than agree to the time off and be a bit shirty with you.

zdjg Sun 22-Dec-19 18:31:06

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Your boss is being rude and unnecessarily causing upset and stress.
Yes maybe have to take as unpaid but there's ways of discussing it with you.
I'm not sure about retrospectively being signed off but worth checking

ConnorRipley Sun 22-Dec-19 18:36:40

He signed off your holiday though? So why didn’t he flag it then?

Fair enough if your wages need to be corrected but he doesn’t need to be such a wanker about it. Where are his interpersonal skills? What a jobsworth knob.

SapphosRock Sun 22-Dec-19 19:51:09

Thanks ConnorRipley and zdjg just re-read the messages. My first reply acknowledged that the extra day needs to be unpaid. He then asks me to cancel the leave (why? To come in for some sausage rolls and a quiz?) I say not possible as I'm away and he launches into how disappointed he is it's come to this.

He knew I was at the doctors last week and still feeling horrendous so it's all a bit weird.

OP’s posts: |
PlomBear Sun 22-Dec-19 19:53:28

He still sounds like a dickhead though.

Babymamaroon Sun 22-Dec-19 20:06:50

I think he sounds awful. It's a mistake. In theory, you could be signed off by the docs for how sick you are, so as a manager I'd be cognisant of that and feel pretty sorry for you!

He's not wrong that it needs to be unpaid but I believe he has gone about this badly.

zdjg Sun 22-Dec-19 20:21:50

Sounds completely unreasonable of him. You made a mistake and so did he by authorising it.
Try not to worry about it!
He could have definitely gone out it differently.

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