Do you tell your employer about your mental health condition?

[FirTree31]

I have been employed in my first role since graduating with Masters since August 2018. The role is entry level, I work in higher education.
I have borderline personality disorder, diagnosed since December 2017 after seven years of mental health issues, including hospital admission after having my second child.
I am in the stirrings of another depressive / anxiet/paranoid /self harm cycle, my first big one since starting work. Work do not know about my condition, it is normal practice that all new starts complete OH referral, but I haven't and work know I haven't. I don't know what to do. I'm getting very anxious at work, feeling the urge to self harm, disassociating and crippling low self esteem. I am also fu**ing up a bit and being pulled up on it.

Do you tell your employer? Should I take time off, and just call it anxiety / depression?

[bookishtartlet]

Definitely tell them. Do you have a trusted member of management you can talk to?

I told my current employer and they have been really great. It means now if I need a bit of breathing space, I can be honest and tell them what is realistic for me at that time.

That was after months of trying to cope, 2 weeks signed off for new medication to kick in after an almost melt down.

If you have a union, see if you're entitled to have some one support you tell them? I needed to really dig my heels in over working time (I'm a teacher) and the union were a great support in letting me know what I could ask for.

[FirTree31]

I'm glad you have been supported the way you should have been that's really positive to hear.
I have just spoken with Workplace Options, a counselling support my employer provides (third party), I'm not able to access their counselling as it is very short term and woman on the phone said it could do more damage as I would need long term counselling . I just need someone to tell me what to do. I need an 0H referral.

Our office has had a reshuffle and my line manager has just moved, I don't know who my line manager is now, and I don't feel I can talk to anyone there

[EBearhug]

Do you have a separate HR department? Can you talk to someone there?

[FirTree31]

No unfortunately not. I don't k ow whether I just take sickness absence to at least protect myself from making mistakes at work. I've been feeling increasingly worse over the last two months but refused sick line from GP because I am embarrassed and didn't want to feel like a burden and also because work brings a sense of normalcy

[MrsMaiselsMuff]

As you don't know who your current line manager is, could you contact your old line manager? You don't need to go into detail, just start with "My GP/ Workplace Options has suggested I get referred to occupational health. Could I ask how to arrange this please?". They'll know who you need to speak to, or they may be able to do the referral for you if a new manager is not yet in place.

It does get easier once you've got past the initial asking for help. Not all workplaces are supportive, but in my experience HE tends to be more so than most.

If you're not already in a union please do join one!

[MrsMaiselsMuff]

If you took sick leave, could you have a plan to keep busy but also look after yourself. I know what you mean about the sense of normacy, but you could look at ways to get that at home. Even simple things like making sure you're dressed by a set time, doing yoga for half an hour, getting fresh air even if it's just a walk around the block.

[FirTree31]

I asked for the OH referral and was told I would need to give information for the referral, so I told my old LM my diagnosis, I tried not to make a fuss of it and just said I wasn't looking for anyone at work to be an emotional crutch. I didn't fully disclose all symptoms. Hopefully it'll all be okay

[ScabbyBabby]

You’ve done the right thing. It’s very brave if you to open up and I hope you get the support you deserve.

[Justgivemesomepeace]

I manage someone with BPD. It really helps to know as i can understand his behaviours and adapt my management style to help.
If hes off sick due to anything relating to to this, he is managed under a different absence process, as he possibly would be covered by the Equality Act. I can give him time for his mental health apptmts, and I have been able to support him in adjusting his shift patterns. He wouldnt have got these adjustments if I didnt know, he would be dealt with like everyone else.
The biggest support is just in the day to day management of him. I can intervene quickly when i see him getting stressed and edgy and can usually help him reset his mindset a bit. Im not a psycologist or counsellor but I can add a level of support be wouldnt normally get and point him in the right direction of getting the support he needs. Id be honest with your boss. They cant support you otherwise.
If you are going to have a higher than normal level of absence due to this you need to be honest.