What do you make of this please?

(9 Posts)
Leftshitjob Thu 28-Nov-19 21:55:02

You email a very angry rant to 3 colleagues who made your life hell, boss, supervisor and your department HR advisor. Then HR emails you the next day to say you will have a meeting with ur boss & ur representative next week. You panick worrying about being sacked/disciplined so you send another email expressing your resignation with immediate effect! Then manager emails you back to say sorry you are considering resignation and asks you to have a rethink and get back to them in 4 days...Fyi, this is the manager who did not respond to previous emails raising concerns about bullying.

Do you think the manager is just being nice or do they really want to keep you as an employee?

What do you do? You hate the job but your partner is out of work and you got 3 kids to support. You've been in the job for 6yrs and you are crap at interviews (job is a good paying public sector admin job that you can walk to in 15mins so no transport cost)

Is it a good idea to return or best to move on? What about the issues with colleagues?

Sorry about errors... I'm not an English native (another obsticle to getting future jobs blush) Fyi, profile name was created when I thought id resigned & was celebrating wink...

OP’s posts: |
ElluesPichulobu Thu 28-Nov-19 22:13:46

oh dear.

I think it's a really good idea to take a deep breath and wait a few days to try to gain a bit of distance and detachment from all the emotion of these emails.

I think your boss values your skills and you are a great contributor to the team and your boss recognises that you reached the end of your tether and is trying to create a path for your to recover from that with dignity and find a way to stay. your boss is hoping that the resignation was a panic reaction in the great of the moment rather than a true wish to leave.

you will probably need to apologise for your unprofessional and over emotional outburst, explain that you feel the pressure got too much for you as the difficulties you have been experiencing haven't been taken seriously, and you would really like to keep your job if a way forward can be found to deal with the issues that have been spoiling the work environment for you.

use a lot of "I" statements - that is, don't be accusatory about other people's motivations and intentions, instead focus on the effects on you. e.g. "I feel belittled and undervalued when xxx happens" is much better than "you are always doing xxx in order to belittle and upset me"

Moondust001 Fri 29-Nov-19 07:28:29

I think your manager is ticking a box, one that says "if someone resigns, ask them to rethink it so that when they don't they can't make any possible claim". Seriously - that is what HR tell managers to do, so I can't see it being anything more complicated than that. They will probably be willing to let you withdraw it - although possibly you will need to apologise for your actions in sending the original rant - and they are no doubt genuine in letting you reconsider. But I would not read anything more into it than that. Neither positively nor negatively.

It's hard to comment on your reasons for this since you haven't really described the alleged bullying or what you have said / done about it.

GiveHerHellFromUs Fri 29-Nov-19 07:42:26

The first email was probably because they wanted to address your concerns appropriately (now that HR were involved).

I think you've jumped the gun.

PolloDePrimavera Fri 29-Nov-19 07:43:09

How much do you want to leave? How easily could you find another job?

flowery Fri 29-Nov-19 08:20:04

It is good practice when someone resigns in the heat of the moment to check they really mean it, both from a wellbeing point of view and also for legal protection.

”What do you do? You hate the job but your partner is out of work and you got 3 kids to support.....Is it a good idea to return or best to move on?”

Clearly in the medium to long term it’s best to move on from a job making you unhappy. But equally clearly if you’re the only breadwinner with three children to support, surely there is no luxury of debate in the short term about whether to move on right now? It doesn’t sound like you have anything to move on to?!

Be glad they are giving you an opportunity to retract. Do that. Then focus on finding something else and/or taking steps to address problems where you are through the relevant policies.

LIZS Fri 29-Nov-19 08:28:48

Presumably you have not raised a formal grievance previously. Tbh it sounds like a measured response. If you need the income, however short term, you need to retract and try to build bridges by attending the meeting. You could still follow the grievance process if appropriate.

EBearhug Fri 29-Nov-19 11:01:30

I would retract it, apologise, ask to discuss the issuesnd that you have felt ignored. Meanwhile, be actively looking for other work.

Leftshitjob Fri 29-Nov-19 12:48:37

Thank you for the nice replies. I submitted a grievance then retracted it when 1).I read how rubbish the public sector is re:grievances...2.) I don't have a union rep and can't face a grievance panel, 3) I don't have long term plans to remain in the job. 4) Part of me feels that the bullies have learnt their lesson, 5) I was hoping the bullies would be redeployed but i was told I would be! I don't want to leave my department as I enjoy my job/get on with the rest of my colleagues.

The bullies were interviewed and are aware of the situation. Manager and team leader want me to stay in the job. G.P thinks I'm going through depression due to the work issues and personal issues hence all the indecisiveness, anxiety, stress etc. HR have referred me to counselling now and given me a week off to rethink about everything.

Do you think the bullying will end or get worse now that I've retracted the grievance?

Will managers/HR protect me from retaliation if anything nasty happens?

Have i reuined my credability and be seen as lying for retracting the grievance or is it common to retract a grievance?

Feel like a right prick & confussed.com
Thank you all x

OP’s posts: |

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