Pooing at work!

[Witchtower]

My manager has asked me to time my bowel movements so that I can poo during my half hour lunch break. This is the first poo I have ever done at work!
Is this even legal?

[juneybean]

How are your bowel movements up for discussion!?!?!?!

[Ispy123]

I would be mortified!!! How did he even know you'd had a poo

[Nursing83]

I'd love to know how that conversation came up! I dont think it's legal, possibly annoying for your boss and colleagues if your poos are taking over 30 mins though

[TiceCream]

Of course you can’t time when you need to go, that’s ridiculous as well as impossible.

[isabellerossignol]

I'm struggling to think how this could possibly come up in conversation

[iklboo]

WTF?

[Witchtower]

So I was on the toilet and got a phone call...

Me- hello
Manager- hello where are you?
Me- I’m on the toilet
Manager- why?
Me- seriously?
Manager- what are you doing?
Me- I’m doing a poo
Manager- can’t you time it better
Me- no

Then I went to his office and said seriously are you joking? He began laughing and said ‘well I hold mine all day and it’s an expectation across the country’

[CareOfPunts]

Wtf?

[RB68]

Just ask him when he does his at lunch time so you can make sure you are not both away from your desk/unavailable then tell him to go stick his head in the toilet - ridiculous request

[CareOfPunts]

How did he even know you'd had a poo

This! Did he follow you into the toilet or did someone dob you in for shitting in work time?

[Witchtower]

Ps I genuinely don’t take the piss with toilet breaks. This is the first time I have taken a poo at work. I’ve been constipated the past 2 days.

[Yeahyeahyeahyeeeeah]

[RB68]

Oh in that case don't answer phone and just text - busy anything you need?

I do think it was a joke, tell him that is how you end up constipated in old age - god fobid anyone at your office has IBS or similar

[RaininSummer]

Why did you even answer the phone?

[CareOfPunts]

Why the fuck did you answer the phone on the toilet? And then tell him you were having a shit?

You sound as batshit as him to be honest

[SabineSchmetterling]

Why would you answer the phone if you were on the toilet? Isn’t that sort of thing the reason why smartphones have the “call you back” auto text message option now when you cancel a call.

[HilaryBriss]

Went would you answer your phone whilst on the toilet? Why would you then go on to explain exactly what you were doing??

[Aquamarine1029]

Personally, I'd be furious about this. You really shouldn't have answered your phone and you shouldn't have been so "descriptive."

[Queenoftheashes]

I’m sure this sort of thing goes on in a sports direct warehouse but the normal expectation surely is “if you gotta go you gotta go” as Jeff goldblum said

[BendNSnap]

This has made me laugh! I don't think they can stop you having a 'comfort break.' It sounds like he was joking though.

[Witchtower]

😂😂😂 I ignored the call for a second and then I thought let me answer as I usually get called for emergencies or in case he thought I was MIA.

He genuinely wasn’t joking. I clarified that a few times with him.

[Geppili]

That is so funny! But I think he is being totally unreasonable. That said, my DH will NEVER poo at work, nor my DSs at school! There is a poo queue at around 5pm at ours!

[Witchtower]

@ HilaryBriss he asked me to go to his office to talk to him after my poo. Wasn’t on my own accord

[CareOfPunts]

Maybe next time you go to the loo leave your phone on your desk

[LilyMumsnet]

Hi all

Thanks so much for the reports.

This isn't, from what we can see, our regular poo troll. The OP has been around for some time. Not to say we can vouch for anyone 100%, but we're happy to leave this one as it is.