Is this normal. Is my boss hardowrk?

(9 Posts)
Kats11 Thu 14-Nov-19 10:00:20


I am hoping to get some helpful insight/tips/advice about my current job.
I started a back in aug it's busy and I thought I'd enjoy it.
However as time has gone on I'm getting more fed up and a bit upset with the setup.
Sorry for the bullet points, thought it'd be easier.

1. I find my boss moody and she can be so nice but then gets stressed very easily and everyone knows about it. I find it difficult to talk to her and feel awkard in her presence. How do I over come with anxiety? Also I feel as if I get in the way confused

2. I find my boss very reactionary. There is no structures in place, no audits, no clear training, nothing put down as policy. As nerdy as it sounds i am trying to bring in structure but it just goes over my bosses head. Her counterpart has already told me she finds it infuriating.
However i feel because of this ad hoc set up I am feeling set up to fail. Is this normal, am I being sensitive?

3. A couple of ppl started at the same time as me however I've just realised I haven't had any 1 to 1 ever and everyone else has them twice a month. This has been happening since Aug. When I riased it and put a reoccurring meeting in the diary my boss declined it with No acknowledgement that I don't have meetings with her or suggesting another time better for her.
What annoyed me was when I put the meeting in I said it might not work this week but going forward it looks the only time free.
Is this my managers responsibility?

4. I'm emailed one sentence to do things... No context, no help. It's making me feel like I'm making mistakes. Obviously I will approach my boss and ask for me detail, information. She reels it off at 100 miles and hour and I find she's very dismissive like I'm being difficult. What can I do?

I've got to the point where I want to quit! Not good.
Any help would be so welcome xx

OP’s posts: |
welshladywhois40 Thu 14-Nov-19 10:22:44

To be honest this doesn't sound great. I have regular 1:1s with my boss and when you are new you need more communication not less.

But I have also been in the stressed situation where you bunker down and try and shut everyone else out to deal with the pressing priority but long term this doesn't work. She needs to delegate ideally and then she has more time.

So keep pushing for direct time.

It's pmp time currently - does your office do 360 so you get the chance to send feedback to her boss?

Also do you have skip level meetings? These are not to complain about your boss but you can give honest feedback about how concerned you are that she is so busy she doesn't have time for 1:1s

Kats11 Thu 14-Nov-19 10:58:52

Thank you welshladywhois40 very much appreciated for your thoughts.
I don't want to come across as being sensitive or not resilient so need objective views.

I don't feel it's great. All of a sudden the team has doubled and I don't think she prioritises managing it.

We don't have anything in place such as 360 meetings or skip level meetings... Not sure what that is?
Basically I feel I've been thrown in with no consideration.

I used to be a manager and wouldn't dream of this approach.

OP’s posts: |
BarbaraFromOopNorth Thu 14-Nov-19 11:07:05

It's not great. Sounds like she is under pressure but doesn't know how to handle it.

I've had some bloody awful bosses for this! Best way I have found is to save up a few queries then have a meeting. Prioritise by most urgent. If she is starting to lose concentration/getting snappy then leave the less urgent things to another time.

When you communicate with her be brief and to the point. Give her time to process what you are saying and time to answer. So, "You mentioned a Widget Budget Meeting yesterday...... I didn't catch what you said as you were dashing out the door........ Which part of the report do you need? Okay, I'll follow up with Bob and print five copies".

When you email her, don't compose flowery sentences with lots of information and asking her about her weekend. It will just piss her off. Save that for Brenda in the Post Room.

If she's not receptive to a meeting then go and see her at her desk and the do the same. You may only be able to cover one topic though.

It's rubbish. One boss I had to text because he never prioritised me. Half of the time he never even answered so I just used to say. "I'm doing this. Will assume it's okay unless you tell me otherwise." When I handed in my notice he said he didn't know me as a person at all. Huh?! I wonder why!!!

BarbaraFromOopNorth Thu 14-Nov-19 11:08:05

If the above doesn't work then start looking for another job. Life is too short.

Out of interest, what do you do?

Kats11 Thu 14-Nov-19 11:46:58

When you communicate with her be brief and to the point very good advice

Thank you for your feedback. It's making me feel like it's not just me and that there is a genuine issue here.

I work in marketing.

It irritates me i suppose because I feel she doesn't manage her time and therfore can't surely manage a team. I think she's lucky as everyone gets on with it but I also get the impression others are in the deep end.

My other irritation is no acknowledgement of 1-2-1 meetings. It didn't seem to sink in that since the start of Aug we've not met hmm

Yeah I agree life it way too short!

OP’s posts: |
BarbaraFromOopNorth Thu 14-Nov-19 12:30:48

No, it's definitely her but some bosses (especially senior decision maker types) operate like this.

Ideally, you should meet halfway so that you communicate more fitting with her style but equally she needs to give you the time to ask those questions. At the end of the day, she is the boss so you have to accommodate to her. If you can't get it to work then you probably need to find another job.

Yes, absolutely rubbish that you haven't met yet. With some bosses you are expected to know things by osmosis. Maybe invest in a crystal ball? grin

I would put money on it that she is a red personality....


Kats11 Thu 14-Nov-19 12:47:35

BarbaraFromOopNorth thank you for making me feel a lot better.
I agree that meeting half way is appropriate and that I perhaps need to be more tactical in my approach.

Definitely red!!!

OP’s posts: |
BarbaraFromOopNorth Thu 14-Nov-19 13:33:50

When someone is under pressure and stressed, the very worst aspects of their personality will come out. So although she is probably quite direct under normal operating circumstances she will come across as rude and snappy when stressed.

Is it possible to pre-empt some stuff to take the pressure off her? If you can get some quick wins it might help to get her on side. Don't expect her to meet you in the middle though. She does sound like a bit of a loon.

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