Hi all, I could really do with some advice about a bad situation with my job - apologies for the long post ahead!
I've been at my current role for about nine months. The manager who hired me left about three months after I started and since then I've not really had any management at all which I've found quite stressful.
I have career goals I'd like to achieve but any piece of significant work that I send to my manger is completely ignored. Likewise, I haven’t been given the chance to do the things that I was hired to do…
My skills are quite specialised (related to content) but a project manager (not my line manager) insists on absolute control over some of the things that I produce - from structure to exact wording of sentences - with pretty disastrous results. I feel that I haven't been able to use the skills that I was hired for at all.
As a result, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. My official line manager (who I was actually asked not to speak to at all for about five months) doesn't seem to have a clue what I do (he recently asked me to write down what I've been working on since I started the company). I've had very few meetings with him but when I've tried to talk about my role and explain my skillset, he said he feels as if I'm a worrier and I'm 'lucky he's putting up with it'.
During the last nine months, I've worked really hard - often doing late nights - on various big projects but I’ve never had any feedback and my manager seems to have no clue what I’ve been working on.
I'm the only person in my team with my skillset but every time I do any significant pieces of work, it's completely ignored.
Now with a more recent piece of work (dictated to word for word by this project manager), the shit has pretty much hit the fan as it was terrible. My official manager sent out numerous emails pretty much throwing me under the bus with lots of people ccd in saying that the work was terrible, and I'm now literally worrying for my job.
I've been worried about raising any concerns with anyone about lack of management or other issues at work, as my previous line manager that left (after being very unhappy) was called "hormonal" and another girl on my team who left (also very unhappily and who said she was beginning to feel suicidal) was also called "mad".
So I'm really trying to be positive and do what's asked of me and not rock the boat... but on the other hand, I'm ambitious and worried that a) I'll get fired anyway as my manager doesn't seem to want to engage with me in any way and ignores all my work... and the project manager who he does speak to a lot has likely blamed me for the terrible piece of work recently... and b) I'm worried abut losing my skills that I worked hard to gain before I joined.
I don't feel stretched in this role at all and I feel that the work culture is very toxic. People with no experience at all are being asked to do things that I have lots of experience of and I feel that my skills are being overlooked. I'm also starting to forget some of those skills now as I’ve not been using them for nine months and also starting to lose my confidence.
I have been applying for other roles but the job market seems a bit tough of late (eg 400 applicants for a role I recently had an interview for) the money is good in my current role and ideally, if I'm actually allowed to use my skills, I feel that I could make the best of things.
I've also just started an evening masters degree and I’m wondering if I should quit my job, take a couple of months out to focus on that and do a volunteer job where I can use my skills before applying for a new role... My savings are all being used for building project at the moment though, so I would be living off credit cards if I did quit.
However, I'm really not sure what I should do. I was only at my previous role for just over a year (maternity cover) and this one for 9/10 months so far... and before that for 15 years I did a slightly different (but still relevant/useful for my role) job. So I'm also really worried about what it would look like on my CV if I leave.
But on the other hand, if I get fired anyway that would look even worse.
I could really use some advice on whether I should ask for clarification on my role (I've never had a job description) or even if I should write an email to the CEO (who is rarely in the office but seems to like me and my work). When my colleague left after starting to feel fairly suicidal (she's much happier now!), the CEO told me I'm always welcome to talk to her. In reality, I'm not that comfortable bringing employment issues like this to the CEO...
Ah, I'm really sorry for the long post. I literally need some advice on whether to stay or go:
- Stay (and raise a bit more of a stink with HR / and possibly email the CEO to ask for a new line manager etc)… and by doing so risk making my relationship with the manager who ignores me, even worse…
- Or accept I made a bad choice in working for this company and leave - with all the risks that includes - financially and professionally (although also means I'll have time to develop my skills in a volunteer role and hopefully join a better company in a couple of months time).