Bullying at work, what should I do?

(9 Posts)
azulmariposa Tue 16-Jul-19 16:16:42

I started a job about 18 months ago in a small company, there's only a few others in the office. As soon as I started a woman in her 50's (think her age is relevant as part of the problem), took an instant dislike to me. After a few months I was given increased responsibility and then the nastiness ramped up. She constantly told me that I wasn't qualified- even though I have previous experience and a degree in the area that I'm working in. She has no experience of what I do, and has never worked in that field before.

Anyway, she was training me up on the systems, and would often tell me stuff incorrectly, or forget parts then another colleague would point out the errors and then she'd say that I was useless and kept making mistakes and then lay into me about it.

Every chance to have a go at me she does. If I've made a mistake, fair enough I'll admit it and put it right. But the way in which she talks to me is awful.

Anyway I've since found out that she's made complaints about me, that are completely false. Luckily other members of staff have backed me up and said that she's bullying me.

The thing is I've never complained about her, I've just gone in and done my job and gone home and felt crap. I think I can't take much more, I'm considering going to the doctor and getting signed off for stress as it's starting to make me ill.
How should I go around putting in a complaint about her? Should I do it officially in writing?

OP’s posts: |
mycatisblack Tue 16-Jul-19 18:23:51

You know that the other staff realise what she's up to and have supported you when she's made false allegations against you in the past.
They know she's being vile but they're afraid to step up and say anything in case she picks on them next.
No different to pathetic school playground bullies and their onlookers.

I think it's time you stood up to her yourself.
Tell her that you both know that she's being she's being a nasty unpleasant little bully and frankly you've had enough of it.
She either stops her ridiculous behaviour immediately otherwise, you'll write up every single incident and lodge a formal complaint about her to senior management. Face her and if she tries to deflect, stick your hand in front of her face and tell her that you've tried to be respectful but you're not her personal punchbag and enough is enough. Then walk away.

I had an older woman (20 yrs older) try to belittle me because she thought she was superior as she had a lot more experience than me. We ended up having a major argument in the main office in front of colleagues (but no clients). I didn't back down and possibly told her to F off in the end.
I remember a couple of my colleagues cheering. blushgrin

The following day, she was all over me. Couldn't do enough for me. I was the best thing since sliced bread etc.
No-one had ever stood up to her before and it had shocked some sense into her - I think.

I'm in my mid fifties and have zero interest in being a people pleaser.

You're worth more than that!

NoBaggyPants Tue 16-Jul-19 18:30:07

How long has she worked there? Is there a HR officer, and/ or a grievance procedure?

NoBaggyPants Tue 16-Jul-19 18:31:09

Please don't have an argument with her in the office. That's the quickest way to see you out of a job.

imsuchagrump Tue 16-Jul-19 18:50:19

It's time to do something.
I get what @mycatisblack is saying I've called someone up on their behaviour and they back down but this is bullying and needs to be taking seriously.
Write it all down and report to line manager if you don't have a HR or a Managing Director if it's quite a small company.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 16-Jul-19 18:53:29

You don't need time off, you need to stand up for yourself and put this woman in her place. At this point, you are ALLOWING her to bully you. Why?

azulmariposa Tue 16-Jul-19 19:06:41

I suppose I've put up with it as I just want an easy life. Bullied at school, bullied at work. Must have mug across my forehead.

Apart from her I really enjoy my work, but it getting to the stage where she's making it unbearable. I've got constant stress headaches and I'm not sleeping well which doesn't help.

I'm not one to complain, or tell tales, and I'm worried that they will question why I haven't said anything sooner. Also, if they do speak to her, I'm worried about the repercussions. There's no way that I would have an argument in the office, as much as I would love to tell her to eff off!

OP’s posts: |
azulmariposa Tue 16-Jul-19 19:10:04

I've looked at my contract and handbook and can't see anything on there about grievances or complaints. I think I need to start a diary of events as proof of her behaviour. I know other colleagues will back me up.

OP’s posts: |
imsuchagrump Tue 16-Jul-19 19:43:44

@Aquamarine1029 harsh have you never been bullied?

Op no you need to do something now.
Make a complaint they have to take it seriously. Going to work should not make you feel like this .

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