What is acceptable when on sickness leave?

[CoShirker]

Co worker of mine has been on long term sick, retail job, she's a manager.

It's no secret that she's off with stress but apparently not work related.

She's been to the hairdressers next door several times, on holiday twice, to the local pub opposite at least twice a week, walks her dog daily etc.

I know this is no business of mine, but I feel a bit resentful that she's on fully paid leave.
I find it a bit

Can you just go about your business normally and flaunt your presence in the town if you're off sick?

Please don't flame me, I don't intend to cause any trouble for her, I just don't want to talk to my other Co-workers about how I feel.

Thank you

[Hellywelly10]

This is none of your business op.

[CoShirker]

I should add that I want her to come back to work destressed, she's a good boss and lovely person.

[Livedandlearned]

She went to the hairdressers?! 😡

[CoShirker]

@Livedandlearned yes, she goes every 4 weeks to get her roots done.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Yes, she can go about her business when she's off sick. It's not as if she's signed off with a bad back and been seen weight lifting is it?

[CoShirker]

@Hellywelly10 thanks for that, I'm sure I said that in my op

[ChicCroissant]

A surprisingly common topic for a thread on MN, this has come up before. Not sure if any of the other threads are still around.

[CoShirker]

@Nottalotta that's how I'm justifying it too, not like she went skiing when off with a broken leg...

[LurpakIsTheOnlyButter]

Perhaps doing normal things is good for her and aids her recovery.

God forbid you should need some time out OP.

Be kind

[CoShirker]

@ChicCroissant thank you, I'll do a search

[CherryPavlova]

Well walking is very good for stress as are pets.
Getting your hair done is a real boost for some - personally I dislike the hairdressers but many find it relaxing.
Holidays may have been booked before she went off sick. Given the current weather I’m surprised there’s not more unseasonable SAD absence with a nice trip to Greece to boost moods.

What would you have her do? Sit in a a darkened room crying? Stay in bed? Buy a stinging nettle shirt? Sneak out wearing a mask?

[CoShirker]

@LurpakIsTheOnlyButter I've not been unkind, and this is not AIBU

[Skybooks]

I was off sick earlier this year after a mmc and I went on a family holiday to a very busy place.

My manager and my team fully supported my decision.

[Redred2429]

It's important if you are off with stress depression or mental health problems to try and get out and do things I think it's part of the process of getting better I can see what you are saying if you don't understand the condition but all the things she is doing are things a doctor would recommend

[DontPressSendTooSoon]

Yes you can be too ill to be at work but not too ill to get a haircut, particularly if the illness is stress related.

Not sure what's so hard to understand about that.

[BikeRunSki]

Heaven forbid! Her hair has continued to grow whilst she is off sick, and she retains enough interest in her appearance to get her roots done.

[CoShirker]

@CherryPavlova haha, no.
I'm fortunate enough to have never suffered from stress.

I also dislike gossip and have not voiced an opinion on the shop floor.

MN is a bit broader than my social group, I'm just after all opinions!

[CoShirker]

@Skybooks sorry to hear that. I too miscarried so can empathise.

[CoShirker]

@Redred2429 yes, I can see how they'd be beneficial.
I think I'm being influenced by what I'm hearing at work.

[CoShirker]

@DontPressSendTooSoon I thought I'd made it clear I was struggling with the empathy.

I can empathise with pp as I've MC too. I've never suffered with stress.

[MustBeAWeasly]

My DH was off with Stress for three months a couple of years ago and then came to a mutual agreement with his manager to put his notice in. This was work related but it affected everything, he would wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks and couldn't stop moving in the day. The dr told him to carry on with life as normal apart from work, so walk the dog see friends ect. I had to force him out of the house on some days otherwise he would just sit on the couch all day.
After awhile when he started getting better I'd feel similar to you as I was leaving for work and he was still in bed, but then I tried to remember what he'd been like at the beginning.
Anyway he now has a new job and works overtime constantly. Stress is such an invisible issue its hard to see that someone is actually really suffering.

[CoShirker]

@BikeRunSki thanks for reading all my posts!

[HSKNT]

My husband has been off with anxiety for 6 weeks. Should he not leave the house?

[CoShirker]

@MustBeAWeasly wishing you both well and hope he recovers soon

[chinateapot]

If someone is suffering from mental health issues they absolutely need to be doing normal things - and things that they would usually enjoy even though they may not be able to enjoy those things whilst unwell - in order to recover