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Have you ever changed career and started over?

(12 Posts)
SpideyMom Wed 29-May-19 22:53:43

So... I'm in my early 30s and a lone parent. I am sole provider for my young DS, soon to be 5.

In my mid 20s, I earnt a decent wage of £40k+ after working my way up insurance. Unfortunately I was made redundant and no one would look at me because my CV was 'too advanced' for what they had so all said I would likely leave soon. At the time the job market wasn't great but I was never looking for a job to keep looking for something better. I have a mortgage so job stability is so important to me.

Anyway I ended up temping after getting nowhere, and then into a totally new role in sales earning 16k. The job was OK. The company was horrific. I soon fell pregnant went on maternity and then we mutually agreed to part as I was unhappy with them and they never wanted a 'new mom' back anyway.

When my son was 1 I had my interview for my current job and have been there since. He will be 5 soon.

But now I feel trapped in my job.

I love what I do in that I go above and beyond what is expected of me and always get immense feedback. I'd rather not say what I do but it's a sales kind of role however no bonus or commission attached. But I think I do this as if I did the bog standard what is expected of me I'd be gutted for not wanting more for myself. I work around his school hours, 30 a week to be able to be around to collect him from school. I suppose I've thrown myself into being a mom because I can't see a way to improve things career wise. So I can at least back and know at I have been a good mom. And by that I mean I can say I've been good at something!

I would love to work in HR or with numbers but I just can't see a way of studying, or training with everything against me.
It is just me and my little boy. No help from his Dad or contact. I have my own house mortgaged, obviously bills every month, and to make things worse was left in alot of debt by his dad. Plenty of admissions that he has taken/used the money but sadly all in my name so I sought legal advice and decided to take the hit and pay it off myself. It's killing me though and I still have 30 months to go. We struggle month in, month out, year in, year out.
I don't want a better job for money reasons, although it would be lovely. I am so scared to look back in 10 years time and think 'oh is that all I've done'. I really don't know what to do to improve things or even if I can?

Has anyone changed career direction and started over? What did you do and how do you do it?

Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
Manclife1 Wed 29-May-19 23:00:52

Was in a job I loved (teaching type of job) but very poorly paid and unlikely to get a mortgage etc. Jacked it in around 30ish and now work frontline in the emergency services. Don’t forget if you start a new career at 37 you’ll still have 3 decades till you retire! So it’s not too late

SpideyMom Thu 30-May-19 09:07:47

Thank you @Manclife1. Congratulations on the change.

It isn't the career change that is worrying me, its finding a way to be able to pursue something different. I am either working or being a mom. I cant give up work or reduce my hours, and as its only me and my son I struggle to find childcare.

This is why I feel so trapped in where I am. I am happy, i guess, but it just pays the bills and gets us by each month. I earn under £14,000 a year now. Luckily I got my mortgage when I was 24, earning alot more. I have had to remortgage since being on a low income and no one will lend me what I need (50% LTV) so I also feel trapped in our house. We love it and its a lovely home, but space is so limited and getting more limited as the years go by.

OP’s posts: |
Manclife1 Thu 30-May-19 18:14:05

There are still jobs out there that pay you while you train. For example the police pay you £21k starting salary that goes to £38k after 7 years. Ambulance have a similar route in (or at least some do). What is it you would enjoy doing?

SpideyMom Thu 30-May-19 19:27:50

My dream job would be helping others, so something down the medical/health route. But I am also good with numbers so accounts or something like HR has always interested me.

I'm just scared to grow older and remain in the same job paying me less than £14k a year when I know I am capable of so much more. As I say I've made my job more than it should be. I get fantastic feedback from everyone I help and it always feels nice getting those compliments when I am the lowest tier in the company (but strangely enough do the jobs of the upper tier roles too...Strange that) it makes me feel I am making a difference to people.

Last year I was in counselling and she sat opposite me and said 'please don't do this job forever as you are worthy of so much more. I know you love being a mom and that is your priority but you have to do something for you too. You enjoy your job but it's not fulfilling you. It will be so sad you looking back at 50 and not using your skills'. Customer always say to me at work as well how I am meant go different things.

It really is lovely hearing but I've never known how to make the move

OP’s posts: |
Manclife1 Thu 30-May-19 19:50:21

In that case contact your local NHS Ambulance trust and ask if there are any jobs being advertised. You’d be amazed at what’s available but not advertised.

SpideyMom Thu 30-May-19 20:24:37

Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
CallMeRachel Thu 30-May-19 20:32:05

I think you may struggle in emergency services as alone parent with no support tbh. The training is pretty much inflexible.

Why not get back into insurance? Are you on LinkedIn? You have a good cv which would equate to a good salary in the right industry.

LadyBahBahBah Thu 30-May-19 21:18:31

I've gone from a good wage in the Civil Service (13 years ago) to minimum wage in the hospitality industry once the DC didn't need me full time anymore but it guess you wasn't looking for a response like this OP

thesandwich Thu 30-May-19 21:23:32

Great advice about LinkedIn. Also there are great on line courses you could do to build skills in the evenings- futurelean etc, coursera, google courses etc. Lots are free.
Look at things long term.

SpideyMom Thu 30-May-19 21:42:53

Thanks all. I'm defo willing to learn of an evening.

As for the the response I may not want to hear, its OK. I want realistic responses. If I can't make a change then I would like to find other things that will make my life fullfilling long term. Right now I just work or am mom. Financially things are hard so naturally I want better for us.
Sadly I do think my earning potential now will always be low. Hence why I focus on my son.

Thank you for your responses

OP’s posts: |
SpideyMom Thu 30-May-19 21:45:35

Thanks all. I'm defo willing to learn of an evening.

As for the the response I may not want to hear, its OK. I want realistic responses. If I can't make a change then I would like to find other things that will make my life fullfilling long term. Right now I just work or am mom. Financially things are hard so naturally I want better for us.
Sadly I do think my earning potential now will always be low. Hence why I focus on my son.

Thank you for your responses

OP’s posts: |

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