Unfair favouritism at work

(9 Posts)
Glitterbug29 Tue 07-May-19 15:59:53

Hi, just wondering if I can pick your brains on a situation at my office and what I can do (if anything) to improve things.

For context, the structure is:
Manager (M) who sits in a different office and is a bit of a pushover.
Me. I’m the most senior in our office, although I’m not a manager. I’m 20+ years younger than the rest.
5 others who are equal.

One of the five (S) is a difficult character to work with. She’s loud, a slacker, doesn’t really care about the quality of her work, although she’s very funny and entertaining with it.

She’s also M’s favourite and is always running in to her with her work, getting her to basically do it for her. She’s always in M’s ear if she’s not happy about anything and feeds her information about anything that’s been said in our office. M will come into our office for chats and have lunch in our office if S is in, but we won’t see her at all if S is off.

Part of my job is checking the work of the others and I’m finding that the quality of S’s work could be better. I try to tell her but she’s not interested. Because her and M are so close I feel like I can’t pass it to M to deal with as they would be laughing at me behind my back.

The other four and myself are getting sick of the way S is using M as a puppet and is basically running the show through her. I can feel that something or someone is going to snap and the situation is going to get worse.

Has anyone else successfully dealt with favouritism in the office that’s causing a bad atmosphere? Help!

OP’s posts: |
wigglypiggly Tue 07-May-19 17:33:46

This sounds like somewhere I worked, it was awful and the favourite got away with really bad behaviours. Does S have a mentor or is that you. Do you have staff meetings. If your manager cares about the staff and the company then she will have a meeting and take your concerns on board but if shes like mine was she didnt care and staff just ended up leaving. Sorry I'd I haven't been of any help. Is there a manager above M who you could all write to.

Glitterbug29 Tue 07-May-19 18:29:34

I probably am her unofficial mentor but she doesn’t listen to me and would probably undermine me by going to M and laughing about it anyway.

Monday’s are our busiest days and S was recently complaining about the work. Lo and behold, the next week, M came in and said there would be a new rule where only one person could be off on a Monday. No one else is bothered by the busy Monday, they prefer it as the day goes fast! After the announcement, S started asking everyone individually what they thought, presumably so she can feed it back to M.

This is just one example of how S always gets what she wants by manipulating M.

We don’t have staff meetings but I’m thinking we need to organise one to clear the air. I can see things being twisted that it’s us against her, making us look like the bad guys.

OP’s posts: |
wigglypiggly Tue 07-May-19 18:44:50

These sort of people just need to be treated from a distance, dont discuss anything slightly controversial with S, if she asks about work patterns just say you'll discuss it with the manager, I wouldnt give her any info at all. It might help if you all got together w d asked for a meeting, make sure its minutes a d that its ot to be discussed afterwards.

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe Tue 07-May-19 21:28:33

Google the grey rock technique.

daisychain01 Wed 08-May-19 05:49:18

It sounds a thoroughly unprofessional organisation. One of those to have in the History section of your CV. not Current

If the Management is so fickle and shallow they heed the crap spouted by this S person, and allows them to wander round the office distracting everyone, and create arbitrary 'policy' on the fly about leave dates, I'd seriously lose confidence in how that business is run.

Grey rocking is a very worthwhile skill for people like that. Keep your head down and don't engage in any conversation that veers away from the essentials to do your job. The less you deal with them the better.

allthingsred Wed 08-May-19 06:21:49

Following post.
I love my job but the part I'm finding really difficult is having the manager & my colleague being best friends.
I feel like I don't have a voice in any decision process. If I don't necessarily agree with my colleague decision I just have to suck it up as there is no one I can talk it through with.
I.can already see that this will be the thing that will make me leave


Birdie6 Wed 08-May-19 06:24:27

I'd also encourage using the Grey Rock technique. Keep your head down and don't engage with S at all except for work matters. And start looking at other jobs ! Because nothing is going to change where you are.

Teddybear45 Wed 08-May-19 06:34:22

I suggest you leave. It sounds like a very toxic environment

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in