HR help please re M.E. (CFS)

(11 Posts)
Missytruss Tue 07-May-19 13:21:26

(New to this!)
So I've recently been diagnosed with M.E. I'm happy that I finally have an answer as to why I can't get up in the morning and why I need a nap before socialising but I'm also terrified.
I started in this small company just over two years ago and they have been lovely up until now. I'm being forced down the disciplinary route for my timekeeping.
They have requested I get a letter from the doctor before they treat it differently. I feel isolated and the stress this is causing me is making me physically ill.
I want to get signed off work for stress but don't know if this will make the situation worse? Any advice will be greatly appreciated

OP’s posts: |
Rockchick1984 Tue 07-May-19 13:41:56

I'm not sure from your post why it is making you stressed - if you have got the diagnosis then proof of that shouldn't be an issue and that will offer you protection relating to your disability. Do you not feel you should provide this?

Hollowvictory Tue 07-May-19 13:46:03

They are not being unreasonable in asking for the letter. They can also Refer you for an occupational health assessment.
How is going off with stress going to help? It's not. You'll be at home stressing more.
Surely it's easier to just give the required letter? 🤷‍♀️

Missytruss Tue 07-May-19 13:46:44

It's not the issue of providing the documentation, it's the way they are treating me. Telling me to "just get up earlier" and putting me through meetings where I'm just sitting there in tears because they won't even acknowledge my diagnosis

OP’s posts: |
Hollowvictory Tue 07-May-19 13:48:18

Have you provided the letter?

Missytruss Tue 07-May-19 13:49:42

Sorry I don't think I've explained myself. I have requested the letter from the doctors but it's taking a few weeks

OP’s posts: |
Jemima232 Tue 07-May-19 13:51:59

They can't acknowledge your diagnosis until you provide them with the letter, though, so I don't know what you're getting so stressed about.

Crazycrazylady Tue 07-May-19 20:13:29

Honestly of course if you are constantly late in the mornings, they are going to look for a gp letter .
Be warned though that it won't give you free reign to turn up late each morning. They need to put reasonable measures in place but that's all.

Yorkshiremum17 Tue 07-May-19 20:34:24

My dh has ME, mornings are a killer. It is a fine balancing act between getting up late enough to get a bit more rest and early enough that he doesn't have to rush, he had got it down to a fine art now.

Do your research, take extra vitamins and minerals, try enzyme q10, magnesium, fish oils and vitamin d, my husband takes all of these and it took about 3_4 months but actually he is noticing a difference. Don't drink coffee after lunch and try to go to bed at a regular, but not too late/early time. Also try practising meditation and mindfulness. All of these things balance you mind body and spirit and can help. A lot of it is routine, routine, routine and listening to your body.

There are printouts you can give to your work concerning cfs, it is a recognised disability so you're work have to make reasonable adjustments. Would a later start time work for you and them? Ask, you never know.

TDMN Tue 07-May-19 20:55:06

Hi OP, sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it must be such a relief to know what's finally going on.

Have you told them the letter might take a while? These meetings are unfortunately necessary, although I can see why you find them upsetting. Is there anyone who you could request to be with you at meetings, maybe a colleague (as I dont suppose you are part of a union if its a small business)

Try and focus on what you CAN do. So rather than wait for another meeting that your work has arranged, ask them for a meeting and focus on what you can do to mitigate your timekeeping. Can you have a temporary change in hours as another poster has suggested? Can you make these hours up elsewhere? Just think of what you can do to show you are committed to the company and respect that as a business they need to know they will have enough people at certain times. Thats all they will want to see.

Think about it from your employers perspective - how would you treat this situation if you were in their position? If you would do things differently, maybe you can move things in that direction. More casual weekly catchups rather than a big meeting every couple of weeks maybe?

Fingers crossed you get the letter soon and its all sorted.

Missymess Tue 07-May-19 21:52:00

Thank you for the supportive messages guys, I've had a nice little air clear with my friends and family this evening and got a plan in place as soon as I get my letter 😊

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