I think I'm just really bad at interviews?!

(16 Posts)
MeadowHay Fri 03-May-19 13:23:50

This isn't really an 'employment issue' as such but...is there anywhere that can help people with interview preparation? Perhaps specifically for disabled people? I am feeling really downhearted at the moment, I know it's normal not to hear anything after applying for tons of jobs, but the post-interview rejections are getting to me now, and I don't feel like much of my feedback has been useful at all, maybe some of you can help?!

Rejection 1 Feedback:
- Commented on my relative lack of engagement with a group exercise, though I did tell them in the individual interview that I struggled with it partly because a) disability and b) the scenario was an area that I had no experience in it at all, everyone else except one other person already worked in that area so clearly the two of us had little to add!
- Gave one of the reasons for not hiring me as the fact that I requested a 4-day (30hr) working week and said they couldn't accomodate this - even though I specifically said in interview that would be my preference but that I'd still definitely consider a 5 day (37.5hr) working week, salary dependent, if that was all they could offer.
- Mentioned my lack of experience in the specific area - but they knew that when they invited me to interview, they saw my CV?!
Feel like my time was completely wasted?

Rejection Feedback no 2:
- Tbf this wasn't so bad, they gave two interview questions where they gave one further example of something I could have added to my answer to expand more (but it was literally like tiny things but I guess quality of candidates was strong, so sort of fair enough), a situational judgement answer that they said they thought part of was wrong, but this was honestly due to miscommunication, they genuinely misunderstood what I was trying to say - probably due to my disability! And then mentioned something about the group exercise that when I responded and explained why I did what I did, and said I was concerned they would say that as feedback, the woman completely backtracked and then said actually what I did was positive for the reasons I just mentioned...what?!

Rejection feedback no.3:
- Just a line in an email saying feedback was all positive but another candidate had more relevant experience, which is fair enough, but not helpful for me lol

Rejection no 4:
- No rejection. Literally ghosted me. I contacted HR two weeks afterwards requesting feedback, they said they'd chase up the team, they've just got in contact with me a few days ago but I haven't responded yet. ABout 6 weeks post interview, am I just being snowflakey that this is really discourteous?! I don't want to respond tbh but I have another application at the same company in progress so feel that I have to appear gracious hmm.

Rejection no 5: awaiting feedback.


OP’s posts: |
SuperLoudPoppingAction Fri 03-May-19 13:29:58

I'm not sure how you're affected by your disability or what it is.
So I might not give a relevant answer.

But rejection is normal with interviews.
That is not terrible feedback.
You have to try and keep motivated to try again and again until you succeed.

Asking for accommodation for your disability can help if you're certain that lack of reasonable adjustments is impacting on your interview success.

Our local council gives practice interviews with feedback and that can help with confidence.

crosser62 Fri 03-May-19 13:32:38

It’s hard not to get upset about these things but I think that you may be making it harder work than it needs to be.

You are taking it all very personally and explaining to people who probably couldn’t be less interested in the whys or wherefore of your performance.

It’s business to them.

So I would maybe suggest that you accept that you didn’t get them and move straight on to the next.
Keep going, keep your chin up and just do the absolute best that you can. Be business like about it too.
Good luck.

MeadowHay Fri 03-May-19 13:37:59

Yeah above is true I guess. I have thought about asking for adjustments, but then research shows disability discrimination is rife so I'm too worried in case asking for an adjustment means they decide to reject me as soon as I've asked, iyswim.

I only posted the feedback to see if anyone had any comments about it to help me learn from it, I guess. Particularly annoyed about the first one though, really feel like they wasted loads of my time for no reason confused.

OP’s posts: |
Hollowvictory Fri 03-May-19 13:40:22

How would your disability affect your level Of engagement in the interview?
You are getting interviews bit not getting the job could you perhaps do some practice interviews? That may help. Good luck!

SuperLoudPoppingAction Fri 03-May-19 13:52:24

The way I look at it, I don't want to work somewhere with bad attitudes towards staff with disabilities so I do tell potential employers.

bakedbeanzontoast Fri 03-May-19 15:16:13

@MeadowHay I'm going to pm you. When I work out (using the app)


bakedbeanzontoast Fri 03-May-19 15:21:19

What I find particularly annoying is this;

Rejection example: not enough experience/ someone with more experience.

Why waste time interviewing me in the first place?

Annoying example: not getting told the outcome when you are told you will get the outcome.

Gut crushing example: the 'fuck off email' - rather than a phone call.

I find the assessment day design akin to a gladiatorial contest. Utterly terrifying. And the problem is no matter how much prep you do, you can never me sure about what they value most over the different things. What if you are crap at one thing and incredible in interview? I don't do well with uncertainty at the best of times though, I guess that's half the reason I find these things gruelling..and it's the hours of prep you put into each application too. Sometimes as well you wonder if they already have someone earmarked and are just going through the motions....

MT2017 Sun 05-May-19 23:37:58

I was interviewed for a role once and after that they decided to regrade it downwards. So frustrating angry

Keep at it op, there will be something out there for you!

Polarbearflavour Mon 06-May-19 11:39:35

Interviews are subjective.

When I was interviewing for PA jobs in the City I wore the same dress, heels, well groomed etc. PA interviews are generally quite formulaic and ask the same kind of questions.

I had three interviews in one day.

One said I came across as “timid.” The next said I was a little “over confident.” The final interviewer hired me and said I came across really well! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn’t take it personally OP.

bakedbeanzontoast Tue 14-May-19 19:27:34

Have you gotten anywhere op?

RussellSprout Wed 15-May-19 16:09:40

The best advice I can give you is to read The Interview Expert by John Lees. Or anything has written. He really is a guru!

bakedbeanzontoast Wed 15-May-19 23:25:23

Another fuck off for me - although apparently I was in the interviewers words outstanding.

Sometimes I wonder why I bothered getting 4 degrees and years of work exp. moving out of my sector is proving torturous.

ButtercupGirI Thu 16-May-19 19:38:34

It's hard isn't it, I think being disabled doesn't help with the situation but it is similar to ageism and sexism etc. I am not physically disable but I do have social/communication problems, I used ro able to get away with bad interviews with my work experience but now at 44 (after 9 years of career break) I am totally undesirable.

However, I managed to find some entry level work 2 years ago - I was lucky the employer only bothered to interview 3 people and the other two were much younger with no experience.

Just keep trying, I think most of us managed to find something in the end.

bakedbeanzontoast Thu 16-May-19 20:30:52

I didn't mention it in my original post but I also have an invisible disability. So I get where the op is coming from. I feel I am good at somethings. But not it would seem, at what matters.

WeaselsRising Thu 16-May-19 20:58:44

I had loads of interviews trying to go up a grade in my current organisation. Other people arrived in the job and moved up and I still just couldn't do it. I had 5 (internal) interviews just in 2018!

I was dx with ADHD and during the assessment process mentioned my difficulties at work. They referred me to a MH Team employment who support people in interview technique, and I met someone on a 1:1 basis once a week for 3 months. He went over my CV with me and picked out what I needed to emphasise. I just wasn't selling myself.

It was partly nerves, partly low self esteem and partly ADHD that I just didn't really get how to answer the questions. In my sector they tend to start with a "tell me about yourself" question that made me panic. We went over some things I could say - all of it from examples I'd already come up with and experience of my work.

He had zero experience of my sector and of my job, but having to explain it to him made me break it down. As far as I'd been concerned, both the interviewer and I knew what my job entailed (I would only ever be interviewed by someone higher up in the same business area) so I was only mentioning the task in general and not going into enough detail.

In the next interview I started talking and didn't stop for 45 minutes. I scored really highly and got the promotion. I'm still amazed TBH but it really worked.

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