Please can someone offer advice. I hate my job, what should I do?

(14 Posts)
LiquoriceWheel Thu 21-Mar-19 13:04:42

Sorry to ramble but please can someone help me I'm really worried and have no one to talk to IRL about this.

I hate my job so much but it's very hands on and exhausting so I have no time to really sit down and plan what I should do next.

All I can come up with is to resign, however, I have no savings and I have bills to pay (who doesn't, right?). The thing is, I find the idea of spending another day there INTOLERABLE.

I've had shittingly crappy jobs before this and I used to focus on meditation/mantras/The Big Picture to help me get through each day. However, I cannot drift away with my thoughts in this job (I have to focus all my energy on the client) so it seems extra suffocating and horrible because my only coping mechanism is useless here. I want to quit, I'm so unhappy. I'm not suicidal but I feel so trapped it's a horrible feeling.

The company is well regarded, the pay is good (i was unemployed for a year before this), I am very good at the job (I should point that out, lol) but it's mind numbingly dull and the clients treat me like I'm a robot not a person (service industry). It's depressing after a while.

I have no time for exercise because the commute is so long and the job is very physical. I'm so stressed and fatigued. I've piled on so much weight because I'm not motivated to take care of myself. I feel like I exist for my job. I show more care towards the clients than I do to myself or my family.

Everyone in my personal life is really proud of me and have high expectations but I'm so miserable and I don't have the heart to tell them the job isn't working out. Ideally I would get a similar job closer to home but part-time. I didn't have a lot of luck getting this job and the thought of lengthy unemployment gives me a feeling of cold dread.

Sorry this is so long and incoherent. I've really messed up sad

OP’s posts: |
RussellSprout Thu 21-Mar-19 13:35:58

Can you not do what most people who want to leave a job do and look for a job whilst still in employment?

Don't see why you have to be unemployed to get another job?

PolkadotsAndCandyfloss Thu 21-Mar-19 13:41:54

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way! I know from past experience how draining a long commute can be. I know it must feel like you can’t carry on any longer, but if you’ve got no savings and have bills to pay then I think you really need to secure another job before you quit. If you feel desperate and there aren’t many opportunities in your current line of work, maybe look for a part time job in a different field entirely just to give you the freedom to quit. If possible, try and scrimp and save to stash some money away as well, so you can build up a safety net financially and give yourself more options. Hope things get better!

PolkadotsAndCandyfloss Thu 21-Mar-19 14:28:25

Also, I know you say everyone is proud of you for what you do, but your mental health is more important than giving a good impression. Do what’s best for you, and I’m sure your family and friends will still be very proud of you.

LiquoriceWheel Fri 22-Mar-19 10:14:29

Thank you for being so kind Polkadots I really thought hard about what you wrote and you're right about everything. You really helped me out, thank you smile

I was feeling really down yesterday but I've found a tiny spark of determination somewhere and I will definitely start throwing my money into a sturdy safety net! The commute is not easily fixable but I'll think of ways to make it worthwhile. Today hasn't been so bad. I had lovely clients today which really made a difference.

Thanks again polkadots

OP’s posts: |
babysharkah Fri 22-Mar-19 10:16:36

Look for a new job now, you don't have to quit first. Can you afford to work part time?

PolkadotsAndCandyfloss Fri 22-Mar-19 11:12:24

No problem smile I’m glad today was a better day. Good luck with your search!


Coffeeonthesofa Fri 22-Mar-19 12:25:27

You need a long term plan, see this job as a means to an end and not a situation you are stuck in for ever.
Accept job is difficult and you are not enjoying it. But the pay is good and you are doing well at it, and the company is well regarded. As pp’s have said save any money you can (unless you have debts to pay off from the year out of work in which case pay them off as soon as you can). Try and live on what would be your salary if you were able to get a PT job and see if you can manage. If your commute is by public transport use the travel time to look for other jobs. You will presumably get a good reference from the company which will help you in looking for new work. If you have eded up in a series of shitty jobs, take the time to think carefully about your next move. Don’t end up in another job you don’t enjoy and just getting PT hours wages.
Can you get outside into the fresh air at lunchtime, that will help break the day up.
Take a decent packed lunch, saves money and better than grabbing chocolate bars for energy. When you make dinner, make extra and take for lunch next day, buy decent leak proof tubs. Don’t have time to cook? Throw a little money at the problem, shop and buy enough fruit and yogurt for each work day. Buy prepared salads if you have to. It will get you back in control of your diet.
Grab that bit of determination with both hands YOU CAN DO THIS.

Happynow001 Fri 22-Mar-19 13:33:29

Glad you are going to look at building your finances OP.

Regarding the commute - is this public transport? Can you try zoning out and listen to music or Learn a language on your phone for a country you want to visit?

Do you possibly need retraining for something more interesting and/or better paid? Check online for courses available locally which might help. Or just read books which you'd not normally have time to read either hard copy or on a tablet.

At weekends make time for yourself! Do you like swimming? Zumba? Get a regular massage maybe? Anything else?

Good luck. You can do this. 🌹

LiquoriceWheel Tue 26-Mar-19 13:51:18

Thanks so much for your great advice everyone. I've started to break the cycle of crap food which has helped my mental state.

I broke down and had a talk with my manager about things and that helped us understand each other more.

A big reason I was freaking out before was because this job IS the 'career change/new start job' and I felt I had made a massive mistake and had failed (again). It still makes me feel a bit ill to think I've made a mistake but it's too late now, I'll just have to make do with what I have.

Also I didn't mention that I had applied for other jobs in my field and even went to an interview but they never got back to me sad I think that set my freak-out in motion because I was sure I was going to get the job and pinned all my hopes on it.

I'll focus on building up my savings then see what I should do from there. Working part time in this job and studying would probably be the best balance for me but it'll have to wait a bit.

I ramble on so much but thank you again, I'm glad I posted about this.

OP’s posts: |
LiquoriceWheel Tue 26-Mar-19 13:52:55

Happynow001 I think an exercise class would be a good idea for me to do smile Maybe boxing to get my stress out smile

OP’s posts: |
Happynow001 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:40:17

Good. Boxing is a really good exercise needing speed, accuracy, agility, quick thinking, concentration/focus and stamina. It's also a good way of working off a bad day! 😄. I haven't done it for a while now but who knows! 🥊

Good luck!

PolkadotsAndCandyfloss Tue 26-Mar-19 17:18:09

Glad you are feeling a bit better about things! Opening up to your manager sounds like it was a good move. Don’t beat yourself up about the career change not necessarily working out how you hoped - my career has been pretty varied too, and sometimes you don’t know till you try something whether it is for the best. I’m not sure if my last move was for the best either but like you, I will just have to stick with it for now. Having a satisfying and rewarding career can be quite hard to achieve!

mimibunz Tue 26-Mar-19 17:23:26

Hi OP. I have found that booking off a couple of Fridays, to give me some long weekends is great for recharging my batteries. I do this at least once a month! In the long term though, do some planning and save up if you can, then you are in a better position to do what you want! Good luck!

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