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Big company culture and bad performance review :((2 Posts)
Short version, 1st annual review at very male global company. I have a very demanding frequently unreasonable big boss but who has always complimented my work although does get irritated at processes and timings that are out of my control. But I always take the blame as he never wanted to listen to why and it never seemed a big deal.
My line managers always shrug off his behaviour as his usual difficult self and I never had any indication that anything was up. In fact the opposite - the end result of my work has been of a high standard that has always made him look good and he is not good at compliments but has sometimes said so. And I often have to complete work in a telepathic manner as he never gives any input directly - it always comes through my line manger.
I get a lot of compliments from the wider company and would have great feedback from any other stakeholder in the business.
Roll on December I made a mistake that he blew a top about, but it had no financial or legal impact, more one on his ego. I apologised and he accepted. Unfortunately it was the same week as our performance reviews started.
This week I got my two scores. The one for goals being the lowest you can get and the one for behaviour a good mark. I had 12 goals and 9 of them I met or exceeded expectations. 3 of them I got the lowest mark.You would imagine I would get a score on the average. But no - I got the lowest mark you can get with feedback from the top basically saying I don't understand my bosses style. I do, its volatile ;) And also the reasons my mark was so low don't correspond to my goals in any way.
Its all very contradictory and thoroughly confusing.
The lowest mark means no bonus and you're effectively on your way out. I have some pride and the self esteem is taking a big knock. The worst case scenario I can cope with - its not an industry I want to be in.
Trouble is I havent been put on a performance plan, its clear Im not fired (yet).And he also put me forward for a visible project on behalf of the region.
Are they sending a sign to look for something else? Or are they using cynical tactics to distribute their rankings and avoid paying a bonus.
I don't understand big company culture and could really do with some advice here.
In the short term I need to stay - it would put us in big difficulty without my salary. We literally live month to month. So whilst I would leave tomorrow - I don't have that luxury.
Could I up my game and fight to stay? Maybe, I can definitely hold the mirror up and find some ways to improve, but he has the character of someone that you can never please and who holds small mistakes against you. Would it be worth the effort knowing that I could wipe it out with a few spelling mistakes one day? Do I pull up my line managers on how it got to this point? Surely a score like that shouldn't come as such a surprise, as it did? How come I thought things were going ok and was seemingly so far off the mark?
Happy to hear what anyone else would do in my shoes. Im off sick for two days with the flu (nice timing) and genuinely don't know how to handle the next meeting with my line manger sad
The reality is that if you have been employed for less than 2 years, which is the case for you, they can 'let you go' for any reason they choose. The fact they have documented underperformance means they are starting a process that I expect they want to use to cover themselves and shore themselves up so it makes it difficult if you were to claim discrimination against you , eg on the basis of you being a woman. They would say they have annual review evidence.
If you do believe they've treated you unfairly compared to male colleagues then if may be worth seeking legal advice based on your facts. Otherwise I'm sorry to say you should see it as a sign of things to come and try to find another job.
In a toxic environment like that, you can never ever make a mistake, be human or have an off day. You have to be 1000% perfect. Bonuses don't compensate for mental exhaustion or feeling scared to breathe, you are better off out. Sorry.