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NHS job application, please tell me what you think of my Supporting Statement?

(24 Posts)

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ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 11:49:30

It's actually called Supporting Information, but I thought the word statement was more appropriate.

Here it is:

I am applying for the position of Admin Assistant progressing to Client Care Coordinator because I feel it is where I would like to progress to within my NHS career. Working for BPAS is something I view as extremely rewarding, it means providing accessible choices and support for women, something I view as a vital service.

I am a proficient user of Microsoft Office, with a fast and accurate typing ability. I have experience of dealing with patients and clients in challenging situations, such as times of distress and upset. I am familiar with checking important documentation, ensuring confidentiality is kept at all times. I am experienced in telephone correspondence, reception procedures and cash handling.

I have excellent interpersonal skills, and adapt appropriately. I am administratively competent with a keen eye for detail. I am friendly and approachable, a good team player and work equally as well indepedently. I am non judgemental and supportive. I practice upmost discretion and ensure strict confidentiality at all times. I have experience of dealing with highly confidential data and actioning it as appropriate.

I am well presented, with a clear speaking voice and telephone mannor.

I am able to travel to additional sites, and work additional hours as required.

I am fully committed to a woman’s rights to choose abortion, without hesitation or judgement. This is something I feel tremendously passionate about.

I believe I would be an active and valuable member of staff from the beginning. My practical skillset and experience of dealing with a variety of backgrounds and professionals would support me further in this. A woman’s right to choice is of great importance to me and something I will always continue to support.

What do you think? What would you chance? Thank you thanks

OP’s posts: |
Redken24 Thu 17-Jan-19 11:54:14

I would change the wording of your first paragraph.
Also you have repeated some words, so could either change these or delete.
Also some spelling mistakes.
If you have a person spec make sure you put them all in there.

ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 11:57:12

Red How would you reword the first paragraph?

There will be a few spelling mistakes, my iPhone keeps correcting things like 'looking' to 'lookingOMG', for some reason. I'll have to go over everything again before I submit it blush

I've gone through the personal spec and ticked off everything I need to include, one by one. It's all there in order

OP’s posts: |
Milliepede Thu 17-Jan-19 12:04:02

there are too many "I"s, as in I can do X I can do Y. Instead try.. " IT skills include Microsoft Excel for widget purchasing management ..." sort of thing. Also include examples of your skills eh " I have familiarity with the cold fusion system of widget prdoduction ". Have a look at the essential skills , as NHS job ads usually have there skill sets specifically outlined see if you can demonstrate you have these skills, by describing your current skill set in relation to the essential/desired skill for the post. If you will be handling confidential information and know about data protection then mention that.
Get rid of your opinion about women's right to use, you need to appear to be as impartial as possible.

Becles Thu 17-Jan-19 12:10:31

First things first: sort out the spelling mistakes. I'd not shortlist you based on this. Print off on paper, read and edit then paste to the application.

user of Microsoft Office: really how? Give specific examples - use excel to do X and word/PowerPoint for Y databases to input data anf capture information used for reports or something else

excellent interpersonal skills, and adapt appropriately: Really? Add an example or 2 along the lines of

When I worked in asda on the checkout or customer service desk I learned how to confidently and professionally interact with the public. Talk of how you developed skills with customers who came in with difficult queries (food had expired, tried to return an item we stopped selling 3 years ago, failed delivery coming up to Christmas - pick something relevant)

Talk about having to understand policies and procedures for your past work and knowing when you seek advice. Appreciate how important it is to be accurate and take pride in this.

LilyMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 17-Jan-19 12:11:22

We're just moving this over to employment issues for the OP. flowers

Stompythedinosaur Thu 17-Jan-19 12:14:30

I was interviewing admin assistance for an NHS job yesterday (obviously in a different area).

I think what you have is pretty good (certain better than many I saw yesterday). The only tweaks (beyond spelling errors) are that I would specifically state that you have admin experience (if you do) and what type/how long. I would also have a look on the trust's website to see if they have trust values and then I would describe yourself in a way that matches them (for example, say you are an honest person who wants the job so you have the opportunity to support people at a difficult time, or whatever).

ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 12:17:16

The thing is, the supporting statement is suppose to be quite short and (apparently from what I can gather), literally just lift what you can do. The point is to point out what skills or qualities you have that match the personal spec. Perhaps I am wrong and it can be quite long.

I've attached a picture of what the NHS application says the supporting information should be.

I've been on maternity leave and then left my job before returning because it's too far away. I'm a bit embarrassed at how challenging I'm finding it to stop using 'I am' for every sentence blush It's proving difficult because you can't use CV language and sentences like 'Proficient user of Microsoft package (Word, Excel, PowerPoint)'

OP’s posts: |
Milliepede Thu 17-Jan-19 12:23:44

Sorry just re read your post and have seen you have mentioned cofidentiality. It should be mentioned somewhere in the interview, the NHS are, rightfully, big on confidentiality.

ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 12:23:54

Stompy Thank you thanks

I have changed the first paragraph to this...

'I am applying for the position of Admin Assistant progressing to Client Care Coordinator because I feel it is where I would like to progress to within my NHS career. Working for BPAS is something I view as extremely rewarding, it means providing accessible choices and support for women, something I view as a vital service. I have over 5 years experience in an administrative and patient focused setting.'

This organisation isn't actually a Trust so I cannot add trust values etc.

OP’s posts: |
ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 12:29:19

Millie No worries, I wasn't sure what to put specifically. Each trust differs but my previous hospital had its own confidentiality rules and regulations, and each trust has its own 'Trust procedure'.

It's further complicated by this not being a NHS setting. BPAS specially ask on the application 'are you aware this isn't an NHS organisation?'. They essentially just work alongside the NHS

OP’s posts: |
crazyhairbear Thu 17-Jan-19 12:44:26

I would maybe try and add in some examples, it's easy to say I work great as part of a team... how? When? Why? And don't open your statement with I feel this is a good progression. I feel, I believe should become I can I will I am! Be more confident, this is your chance to sell yourself!

ALittleCrisp Thu 17-Jan-19 13:00:25

My revised version from some advice given here is...

I am applying for the position of Admin Assistant progressing to Client Care Coordinator because I feel it is where I would like to progress to within my NHS career. Working for BPAS is something extremely rewarding, it means providing accessible choices and support for women, something I view as a vital service. I have over 5 years experience in an administrative and patient focused setting.

I am a proficient user of Microsoft Office, with a fast and accurate typing ability. I have experience of dealing with patients and clients in challenging situations, such as times of distress and upset. Due to the nature of my previous work, I am familiar with checking important documentation, ensuring confidentiality is kept at all times. I am experienced in telephone correspondence, reception procedures and cash handling.

I have excellent interpersonal skills, and adapt appropriately. I am administratively competent with a keen eye for detail. I am friendly and approachable and a good team player. An example of this would be seeing colleagues are supported and offering assistance with tasks to ensure the team’s workload is complete. In addition to this, I work well equally as well independently by managing my own time and achieving set deadlines without prompting.

Undoubtably, I am non judgemental and supportive. I practice upmost discretion and ensure strict confidentiality at all times. I have experience of dealing with highly confidential data, and I am familiar with data protection procedures.

I am well presented, with a clear speaking voice and telephone manor.

I am able to travel to additional sites, and work additional hours as required. Any vaccinations necessary for me to receive whilst working at BPAS are accepted.

I am fully committed to a woman’s rights to choose abortion, without hesitation or judgement. This is something I feel tremendously passionate about.

I would be an active and valuable member of staff from the start. My practical skillset and experience of dealing with a variety of backgrounds and professionals would support me further in this. A woman’s right to choice is something I will always continue to support.

OP’s posts: |
Lougle Sun 20-Jan-19 15:29:43

"Get rid of your opinion about women's right to use, you need to appear to be as impartial as possible." Actually, while I agree that the OP's statement goes a little far in stating that she supports all women in choosing abortion without hesitation (BPAS as a service will want all women to make the right decision for them, which means that some women will continue with their pregnancy after the initial appointment, and others will continue on to have an abortion), the BPAS adverts all contain this:

"The Small Print: All applicants must be pro-choice."

So it is wise for the OP to make a pro-choice statement.

ALittleCrisp Sun 20-Jan-19 16:27:44

Loungle I don't see anything wrong with saying 'I support all women in choosing abortion without hesitation'.

It's supporting a woman choosing abortion, without hesitation. If she decided a different choice, that's fine too. It's not saying I'd actively encourage abortion no matter the person or their wishes

OP’s posts: |
CurlyhairedAssassin Sun 20-Jan-19 16:35:56

It’s utmost not upmost. Telephone manner not manor.

Although these little errors may seem trivial they make a bit of a mockery of your “keen eye for detail”!

ALittleCrisp Sun 20-Jan-19 16:42:49

Curly Everything was edited and things like 'manor' were corrected. I don't have any spelling mistakes on the final piece that I submitted, apart from spelling 'utmost' as 'upmost' angry

Really annoyed at myself for that.

OP’s posts: |
SauvignonBlanche Sun 20-Jan-19 16:47:02

You’ve changed,

I am well presented, with a clear speaking voice and telephone mannor.
to
I am well presented, with a clear speaking voice and telephone manor.

But it’s still wrong as it should be ‘manner’, I read a lot of NHS admin posts application forms and that would really jump out at me as a possible red flag as I’d understand a typo but not a complete mistake.

I don’t like “well-presented” I’d change that to ‘ I appreciate the importance of a professional appearance’.

The pro-choice thing seemed a bit OTT when I first read it but as a PP has pointed out it is seen as a requirement of the post but perhaps re-word as supporting women what ever they choose?

SauvignonBlanche Sun 20-Jan-19 16:47:40

X post - sorry

crimsonlake Sun 20-Jan-19 16:56:58

Agree to many 'I'..starting your sentences. Also too many spelling errors, check and check again. I think as long as you have covered everything in the person specification in your letter, you should get an interview. I do think you need to give one or two examples as it does seem quite impersonal and I do not get a feel of you as a real person.

TheBlob Mon 21-Jan-19 15:41:52

Practice should be practise

Mcsparent Mon 21-Jan-19 17:04:32

I am not involved in healthcare, but I do recruit regularly, so this might be helpful! Your statement reads well. A couple of minor comments:

1. Consider not opening with your microsoft experience, as this is probably one of the lowest level skills you are offering. Better to highlight the most tricky technical thing you have done, if technical skills are required. E.g. 'While working at .xxxx I quickly mastered several major updates for the payroll management systems, and this enabled me to train the rest of the team'.

2. Try to back up your statements with specific examples from your previous experience. [Obviously not here on mn!] e.g. change I have experience of dealing with patients and clients in challenging situations, such as times of distress and upset.

My role at [xxx] required me to deal regularly with patients and clients in challenging situations, such as times of distress and upset.

3. 'I support all women in choosing abortion without hesitation'. needs to be re-ordered. Maybe:

I would, without hesitation, support all women in choosing abortion.

Grammatically, it sounds like the women are choosing without hesitation.

Good luck!

Absentwomen Tue 22-Jan-19 10:21:17

What a really helpful thread.

CallingFromLondon Tue 22-Jan-19 10:49:42

Abscent Hmm... helpful in what way? I hope you're not applying for the same job envygrin

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