Colleague grinding my gears.Help!

(12 Posts)
whatisforteamum Tue 09-Oct-18 09:11:25

I have been in my job over a year and love it.I'm described as a workaholic and genuinely love working about 55 hours a week.
I get along with my colleagues well enough and accept everyone is different.There is one girl though that spoils my day.She is so smug and has to know the info in our department.Don't get me wrong she is happy and comes across friendly but there is some undercurrent of trying to be one up
My colleagues drink together after work as they are single and young and I'm convinced she has bent the ear of someone I've worked with well for over a decade or perhaps he has vented to her about me.He has started to treat me less favourably.
My advice is always to ignore the people I don't like but on this occasion she is getting under my skin with having so much away on the older men.I am not jealous as we have a lot of pretty girls in our workplace and I like them all.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Tue 09-Oct-18 09:16:39

I don't really understand, what do you mean she has so much away on the older men or how she has to have info on your department. And if you're being treated less favourably why do you think it's down to her?

Bluntness100 Tue 09-Oct-18 09:18:01

And why would he have vented to her about you, what have you done?

Singlenotsingle Tue 09-Oct-18 09:20:24

It's all a bit vague, isn't it? What has he done to upset you? And why do you think it's her fault?

whatisforteamum Tue 09-Oct-18 09:50:26

I meant sway.Anything that she doesn't like gets changed in the workplace.I can't put my finger on it I just think she meddles.Another man has said as much too.I just wanted advice on how to deal with someone you don't like or trust.I don't want to come across as bitch but I have to interact with her several times a.week.I guess we.can't like everyone.can we.?

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Tue 09-Oct-18 09:51:52

Meddles in what way? You're really making no sense.

Is she polite to you? Has she actually done something to you ? Something real?

whatisforteamum Tue 09-Oct-18 10:07:05

Last week I messed some work up.Nothing major more annoying.She asked this man loudly who did the work.I think she.knew it was me.I pointed out of was me and it had never happened Before.
Another colleague(male) wasn't liked so much so became the focus of back biting.He has since.left.
Another joined only to become the disliked one.TBH he.wasn't suitable for the role
We didn't have any gossiping before as men tend to have a beer and leave.
Now be someone s turn to be the disliked one.I don't like it at all.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Tue 09-Oct-18 10:22:56

But you've said you have lots of pretty girls in the office, so what's men going to the pub got to do with it.

Look it's ok to say you don't like someone. It's ok to say she called you out on an error and you resent it. It's ok to say you're envious of her because she's pretty and blokes do what she asks ( more power to her in my view, more fool them)

It takes more than one person to gossip. And if someone was generally disliked in the office, then it was more than just her. And if someone wasn't capable of doing their job, it was more than just her and not her fault.

So if you don't like her, for whatever reason, stop trying to find ways to make it her fault. Just say, yeah, I don't like her, I know I'm being a bitch, so I'm just going to be polite and professional, keep my head down and get on with it.

There really is not another way to deal with it. If you don't like the company culture, then look for another job.

sunshineNdaisies Tue 09-Oct-18 11:56:13

I think the OP is getting a hard time. I get what she means as I have a younger female colleague who is the same.

I'm not jealous of this colleague but like the OP's colleague, she is very nosey and has to know everything which she will then use against whomever she has taken against. She treats everything as a competition too.

daisychain01 Wed 10-Oct-18 06:15:53

OP don't get sucked into the drama, or add fuel to the fire.

Whatever she does, just avoid getting involved. It really does diffuse the situation but it takes time effort and self discipline to just.not.react.

Be a Grey Rock. Stare blankly at anything she says. If she asks a direct question of you, be polite and helpful but then withdraw.

You need to stop investing, and giving even half a f*ck about anything she does or says. As you can tell, I have turned this into a fine art due to years of practice.

Oh, and never ever slag her off to anyone, or talk about your dislike of her. Honestly it will never end well.

StealthPolarBear Wed 10-Oct-18 06:21:36

Maybe she'd prefer to be called a woman

swingofthings Wed 10-Oct-18 07:14:11

What might be is that you've made a point that you work hard, long hours etc...and it's come a across as if you are making a point about it and making people feel that they are not committed as hard as you are.

Maybe pointing out the error was a way of showing that working long hours doesn't always mean better work.

To be fair I've worked with people who make a point of working late and how committed they are to the business doing so. The reality is that they are usually people who are not as efficient, and fluff about during the day so need to catch up later in the day.

Why are you working 55 hours? Maybe it is getting to you and the reason why you are making mistakes and feeling a bit paranoid. Maybe it's time to ease off?

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