New job problems

(11 Posts)
Sadanddisapponted123 Fri 15-Jun-18 16:52:39

Nc for this as quite identifying.
I started a new job as catering asistant in a school two months ago. I do 15 hours - 3 hours per day.

I was overjoyed to get the job. Dh works away a lot and youngest dc has sn so working school hours is perfect. My previous jobs have included retail and childcare so I've worked a lot of evenings and weekends so doing school runs and having evenings, weekends and school hols with the dcs is perfect.

I had visions of a happy team working together to feed the school children. I knew it would be hard graft and was very prepared for that.

However, it's awful. I was chucked in at the deep end. My promised 'training' hasn't happened yet. I just have some folders of safety stuff to read. I didn't even get a tour of the kitchen so it's taken me ages to find out where everything goes.

My 3 colleagues are unsupportive and seem to dislike me. They get huffy when I interrupt them to ask for help, even when I needed help with the huge industrial dishwasher as if I should magically know how it works! I get a lot of the cleaning tasks- fair enough- but I sense a lot of the time they don't think I've done them properly as they sigh and clean again where I've already cleaned. I try harder but then it takes longer and they say I need to speed up.

I'm obviously a bit slow at food prep as I've only ever done it at home and I keep getting told 'we have to be fast at this' when I've got a massive knife to chop stuff. It makes me on edge and more likely to be slower or have an accident. I was rushing and accidentally dropped a tray of fruit and profusely apologised but I was ignored and they just sighed.

The teaching staff pop in and out of the kitchen as they keep stuff in the fridge and freezer but none have said hi or introduced themselves, even the Headteacher - how can he not want to be introduced to someone who works permanently in his school?

My colleagues have asked me nothing about my life. I had one vague conversation where I mentioned my youngest dc. I ask them stuff like what they are doing at the weekend and just get a gruff 'housework' in reply. They talk amongst themselves a lot. I of course listen in - it's a small space - but if I try to join in the conversation dies.

How can people who are 'grown ups' be so rude? I'm a decent person with lots to offer but I can feel my self worth slipping away with each day I go there. I have had lots of jobs that have been hard work but the saving grace has always been friendly supportive colleagues working as a team and having each other's backs. There's none of that at all in this job.

It's only 15 hours but it's the loneliest 15 hours. I try to battle through and think of the dcs but when I do that I feel like I am going to cry. Dh asks me how it's going and I say it's ok but try not to say more as he has his own stress at work. I know he would tell me to leave without a thought, he would hate to think of me being so unhappy and we can get by without my wages but I have a need to bring bread to the table!

I don't know what to do. I feel so unhappy and disappointed that I dread going to this job that I was thrilled to get and eager to start. I'm looking for other jobs but sadly there's nothing that offers the same school hours.

There is an area manager but he rarely comes in. I could call him but saying 'I'm unhappy as no one likes me' seems a bit pathetic.

Does anyone work in the same industry? Does it take long to learn everything? Is it likely to get easier? Should I just battle through? Will these colleagues eventually thaw towards me?

OP’s posts: |
Beansprout30 Fri 15-Jun-18 19:55:16

Sorry you are having a bad time I think If I was you I'd leave or at least be looking for a new job. Doesn't sound worth it if you dread going in

bridgetosomewhere Fri 15-Jun-18 20:41:46

Gad I worked in a school nursery where the staff were just the same.
Bloody rude and ignorant and talked about me when I left the room - hears them say who does she think she is coming up with these ideas??!!

And the kitchen staff were just plain nasty. I once forgot the lunch order and I thought the cook was going to murder me, she screamed at me!

I’d leave and look for a nicer place to work.

between4and7 Fri 15-Jun-18 22:38:17

If you don't have to work then I would leave and look for something else.

Sadanddisappointed123 Sun 17-Jun-18 12:25:50

Thanks everyone. I've had an awful weekend. I can't get work off my mind and can't sleep or eat properly and I'm snapping at the dcs. I'm ridiculous letting these people get to me like this sad. I haven't signed a contract so I could just walk but it's totally not in my nature to let people down. I'm going to slap on a brave face tomorrow and try and get on with it but if it doesn't improve soon I will leave. Ideally I want to get to the summer hols so I can just not go back in September.

kimber83 Sun 17-Jun-18 12:34:07

I think you're wanting something from the job they can't or wont offer - work friends, banter, fun chit chat

Sometimes it's a work place where people just have to knuckle down and do the work, sometimes it's just a place where people want to do their hours and leave on time. Neither of you are wrong but it sounds like a bad fit.

You need to separate your desire for socialising and friends and just see it as a job then pursue friends outside of work or start looking for other work or hope they warm up to you.

Sounds like the culture of the place, from top down, is fairly impersonal.

Quicker and easier to look for a new job!

Failingat40 Tue 19-Jun-18 23:54:19

You sound too good for that place. They sound like awful employees to have, so thick that they can't see the bigger picture ie train the new staff so they can do a better job and help teamwork so everyone enjoys their time.

It's not you, it's them. Staying in that environment will destroy you.

oneggshellsallthetime Tue 26-Jun-18 09:15:56

I have actually challenged two other members of an admin team when newly joined but sidelined and ignored. I deliberately picked a moment when it was just the two of them present and I stood in the small kitchen's doorway and calmly said, "I can't help but notice there's an atmosphere in the office you could cut with a knife. Have I done or said something to offend you? Because, if I have I'd like you to tell me what it was and I will wholeheartedly apologise, because I wouldn't knowingly do something to upset or irritate my colleagues." I'd had to compose myself to present as 'open, friendly, not feeling 'got at' and rehearsed it many times over and checked out my body language and facial expression. I felt I'd only get one go at it so didn't want to make things worse. Standing in the doorway was a bit of a risk but it worked. They initially looked like rabbits in the headlights, caught out and called out but I was smiling by the time I was at the 'I'll apologise' part. Was hastly assured I'd not done anythingso I laughed and said, "maybe then I just have an RBFand from that point on there was a total 180 turn around. Thank goodness. Might be worth trying.

Sadanddisappointed123 Mon 06-Aug-18 13:28:00

Thanks again everyone.

Well, sadly I have now decided to resign. I got to the end of term and was dreading every day. Two days were great as one of the colleagues was off sick and we had a temp who was lovely. It just made it even worse when regular colleague returned. There was then an end of term staff evening out (whole school) that I wasn't asked to attend. And on the last day when we had to deep clean the kitchen I was given the crappy jobs while they stood outside in the sun wiping tables and chairs and basically having a right old laugh.

My question is, I need to post my resignation letter by tomorrow. Do I wrote about any of these problems or just say 'personal reasons'? Part of me wants to have a dig at my colleagues but another part just wants rid of the lot so I can forget it and go forward looking for another job.

Feel really down today and a failure even though I know was good at the job sad

starfishmummy Mon 06-Aug-18 13:33:06

You don't actually need to give a reason, just that younare give g xx amount of notice asrequired. So I probably wouldn't bother!!

Sadanddisappointed123 Mon 06-Aug-18 14:26:28

Thanks starfish. I'll just give the date I'm not returning. I can then relax and forget it, although I am fully expecting my area manager to contact me at some point but he works term time only so it won't be until my notice period has expired anyway.

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