Employee stealing from me!

[Poodlesandnoodles]

Hi all, I'm new to this so I'm not aware if I'm doing it right!

Ok so here goes (you may want to grab a cuppa ...or Gin, it's a long one)

I own a wellbeing clinic and took on my husband's step sister 18 months ago, she's fantastic. Customers love her. I love(d) her. I've done everything for her. Trained her to a high standard, employed but when no one else would, (little experience + older = costly) I've even babysat her kids when her partner walked out 6 months ago, albeit for one weekend!

In September I believed I had miss placed my designer Sunnies but I was very certain they were in my reception desk.

Then two months ago I realised a bangle my husband bought me when I lost my daughter last year had been taken, I had done a massage and took it off, placed it in a drawer and forgot for the rest of the day. I was heartbroken, I thought it was a client but couldn't prove it! (No CCTV due to it being an intimate waxing /massage room)

And now, I have realised my leather jacket has been taken from the cloakroom and when I mentioned it she said she had never seen me in a leather jacket! 😤

And these things are just the things I know about!

She's the only staff member to be there the whole duration of the thefts.

Police have logged it all, but are as much use as a chocolate teapot. And have just advised I watch hours of CCTV....but all I have is circumstantial!

I believe the only way to get her it to trap her. Do any of you lovelies have any ideas?
I'm going away next weekend for our anniversary so wondered if I can do it then, maybe mention the CCTV is down so to keep an extra eye out? Wink wink nudge nudge!

I must have proof if I don't this could cause an absolute shit storm in our family!!!

Please help!

[NeedForBlossom]

You don't know it's her though. Are you allowed CCTV in the 'intimate' room?

[TigerBreadAddict]

Can you leave something you can track?

[Poodlesandnoodles]

No we can't have CCTV in this room as it's used for waxing.
She's the only person who has worked for me for the duration of the thefts, I'm 99.9%. now I need evidence.

[Rosielily]

Can you rule out clients?

[Poodlesandnoodles]

Yeah, none of the customers were in on all days /more than one day other than that of their appointment. If that makes sense.

Unless 3 seperate clients took the items.

[dinosaurkisses]

Don't mess about with trying to trap her- it could backfire and you'll look like the dishonest one.

If you want to dismiss her, do it before she's been working there 2 years but do yourself and your other employees a big favour by getting some professional advice from a HR consultant or similar.

[Singlenotsingle]

Check to see if your business insurance has got legal expenses cover and/or a free legal helpline.

[SickofThomasTheTank]

Ignore the unhelpful comments from above.

Absolutely set a trap. Otherwise you'll have a whole other issue of why you're letting her go. You need proof so get it!!!

Buy a cheap Zirconia ring from Argos. Wear it for a few days, show it off, tell her it's diamond. Then set the trap.....

[Poodlesandnoodles]

Yeah see this is why I need the trap. I have a large Irish family and unless I'm squeeky clean Its not worth the hassle!

I have spoken to acas and I know reasonable belief is enough to sack her, but for me it just won't cut it. X

[Sparklyshoes16]

Buy a cheap Zirconia ring from Argos. Wear it for a few days, show it off, tell her it's diamond. Then set the trap.....

This^^

[Poodlesandnoodles]

We have a massive Irish family and if I sack her, my name will be mud!
The little tealeaf should pay! you don't do that to anyone, especially not family!!

[SickofThomasTheTank]

Exactly!

Get the ring ordered... £6.99 special!!!

Let us know what happens....

[dinosaurkisses]

@SickOfThomasTheTank- do your work in employment law or have experience in handling dismissals? I'm guessing not, as no HR professional, union rep or employment lawyer would ever encourage a small business owner to risk their reputation by baiting a member of staff such as you've outlined above. The OP here has come for advice, not drama.

OP, if what you believe is true then this employee is a dishonest person, and dishonest people have a way of turning things around to appear as the wronged party, hence my advice to stay away from a trap.

You've been told by ACAS that you can just get rid of her- so make up a reason! Say you've had a complaint, you're splitting the role between you and the other staff members, business has slowed- whatever, as long as it isn't discriminatory and you've given her notice. This needs to be done before she's worked for you for two years- so think carefully how you want to proceed.

[Poodlesandnoodles]

Thankyou!

More needed though gals the more traps the more chances I have of catching her!

[Poodlesandnoodles]

You are totally right, and I'm well in my right to do so. I suppose as it's quite close to my heart I'm really hurt. Plus I am trying to save my bacon for future agro really x

[dinosaurkisses]

Ah OP, that's totally understandable- I don't envy you one bit, you've tried to do a good thing and it's been shoved back in your face which must very hard to stomach.

You could set all the traps you can think of, and she might not bite and you'd then be stuck having to follow a much more difficult (for you) process of terminating her contract after she'd been with you two years.

You could start a conversation around where she sees herself in the future now she's gained some experience- use this as an opportunity to "remind" her that your job offer was to help her get that experience so she could fulfil her potential elsewhere, and now that's happened it's time to start thinking about the next step in her career?

[SickofPeterRabbit]

@dinosaurkisses Excuse me?!?! I was NOT the one to suggest a trap, OP was! How dare you speak to me like that!

I never even mentioned dismissal either?!

Sort yourself out

[ParentInCharge]

If the OP took off an expensive bangle when working then it's perfectly reasonable that taking off an expensive ring would be standard practice too so let the thief try to call baiting or entrapment all she likes. Cctv placed in the public space is perfectly reasonable too. In fact, in business it should be a standard.
If the ring is to be left in the non-cctv area then a simple check before the employee goes in and immediate check afterwards will confirm who has taken it because they will have been the only person able to in such a short time.

[Otterseatpuffinsdontthey]

@poodlesandnoodles
Good Luck with whatever you decide to do

[OldHag1]

How many staff do you have? Can you call a meeting and discuss the thefts whilst advising staff to keep their own belongings safe and reminding them all that theft is a dismissible offence and that police have been informed and you will prosecute?

What does your husband/partner say?

[Otterseatpuffinsdontthey]

Who, exactly, has access to staff toilets? "Diamond" ring "accidentally" left on sink ledge, after hand washing?
Also, if you do manage to prove she is the thief - ensure she is aware of the sentiment of the bangle

[Ginorchoc]

Is there CCTV in the cloak room?

[MargaretCavendish]

Unless 3 seperate clients took the items.

I don't think that's actually very unlikely, particularly since this is over quite a long time span. I've often heard small business owners talk of the surprisingly number of thieves among the general public, even when you're retailing high end stuff and so not to desperate people. I'd tread really carefully here, especially the dual risks as both employer and family member. Is she in every day, ie it's not inherently suspicious that this stuff all went missing on her working days?

[tradervictoria]

IIWM I would take a subtle approach. The thief has either kept the items or given/sold them on, so with that in mind do you have any photos of the items that you could post on SM, say they are misplaced and ask for help in finding them? If the thief still has the items they will likely be at home or even worn by her or someone she knows.

If they are sold there's a good chance it was through FB or eBay so a look around those websites could be useful, especially if you know her selling account.

I think you have to face this fact that this person, who does seem the likely thief, does not respect you or her place of work and is not an ideal employee - although she is probably banking on you saying nothing because of your social connections. What you can do is withhold a reference until she comes clean and makes reparation. Good luck, this is a nasty situation and I would be incandescent at someone stealing from me when I have given them a job.

[dinosaurkisses]

@SickOfPeterRabbit Perhaps avoid giving terrible advice on a subject you blatantly know nothing about then?

Honestly, encouraging this and then asking for updates is breathtaking irresponsible- this is the OP’s livelihood and her other employees rely on her handling this appropriately.