Partner and I have been TTC for around 6 months. Baby is desperately wanted and I want to really enjoy time at home with any children we have, as and when the time comes but ultimately do want to go back to work, part-time, for myself.
I'm currently in a job I hate. It's making me feel anxious, depressed, lacking in self-confidence and highly stressed. Probably not helping in the TTC stakes. The work culture is not a fit with my morals and personality BUT it's permanent with good maternity benefits, given that I've been with the company for over two years. I will also say that I do have a difficult history with mental health issues so the things I find stressful and anxiety-causing in this job could also be partially attributed to that, anyway.
Recently, I've had it. I'm at breaking point after being bullied by a colleague and getting zero support from my manager or HR. I've been looking for new jobs, applied for a few and even found one that I love the look of. It's in a public sector role though so probation is 6 months. Add that to the 6 weeks notice I have to give at my current job and I'm terrified that I'd end up pregnant (lovely but wouldn't that be ironic) and then dismissed before my probation ended due to being pregnant. Illegal yes but easy to fire someone without giving a reason whilst still in probationary period.
Ultimately, I may be making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm not pregnant yet, nor do I have a firm offer of new employment. I suppose my dilemma comes down to... do I look for a new job or not? Do I be brave and take the leap or stick it out for however long it takes to conceive and go on maternity leave? I can't bear my current situation but I also don't want to start motherhood with financial uncertainty hanging over me, both from a practical and emotional standpoint. My partner is all for me quitting tomorrow and supporting us both but my own sense of self-worth and pride couldn't live with that. I need to feel I still have my own identity and am fiercely independent (read: stubborn).
The obvious solution would be to hold off TTC for two months until I've found a new job but due to a bunch of difficult medical issues we've been encouraged to try and get pregnant sooner rather than later and a baby is the thing we both want more than anything.
Thank you.
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What to do... leave a job I hate, or stay put now TTC?
6 replies
rokko88 · 13/04/2018 20:26
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