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I feel so trapped

(7 Posts)
Everdreamer90 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:25:02

Hi all.

I've been a long term lurker but never felt the need to post before. I feel so trapped now though & don't know what to do or who to speak to.

I have worked for a very small company for nearly 6 years now. My director & office manager are my bosses & then there are 3 others who work in the office. I have always been fine there up until the autumn when I started to think it was time to leave.

I have always gotten on with my manager but something happened before Xmas where she & my director went on a meeting together & they came back & started acting so differently. I am now ignored the majority of the time & when they do speak to me, they are sharp or having a go. I've been home in tears on more than one occassion. They even have little meetings together outside of the room where they whisper & then they go quickly quiet if somebody walks by. I had an inckling that they were talking about me.

I applied for some jobs after Xmas as I cannot work there anymore & I have had interview offers. My problem is I need to give a month's notice for any time off & I don't get a lunch break so nipping out during the day is awkward. I work Mon to Fri so I am finding it hard to attend interviews. If I ask to go early or come in late my director gives me the 3rd degree & she wants to know what I am doing & why.

I was ill over the weekend & rang in sick yesterday & today. My director sent me a text message meant for my manager slagging me off which to me confirms that they have both been slagging me off & b**ching about me for the last month.

I am miserable. I suffer with mental health issues & I cannot see a way out. I have 2 interviews lined up over the next couple of weeks & I have no idea how I will get to them!!

I do not want to work there anymore. I'm dreading going back tomorrow. I don't like confrontation so I cannot bring this up with them. There is no HR & nobody else in the office who can help me.

How can I leave? I need to get to interviews. I don't want to end up back on anti-depressants because of this.

daisychain01 Tue 06-Feb-18 20:05:08

It sounds like a totally oppressive regime you're being subjected to. Having to give a month's notice to take one day's annual leave is draconian.

My advice is to put in annual leave requests for the two interviews as soon as possible, like tomorrow. You don't have to tell them why, you have a statutory right in law to take leave for any reason. If you at least request the dates formally, you stand half a chance of having the time off. Can you explain to the companies interviewing you that you would appreciate their support to hold the interview towards the end of the day, then ask for only half a day off in each case.

Do your employers know of your mental health problems? If not, you ought to raise their awareness, because at least you have some protection in law - fact is, if they don't yet know, they can't be held responsible for not knowing. I know it can seems scary if they are as unsupportive as they sound, but making them aware is a step closer to them getting off your case.

retirednow Tue 06-Feb-18 21:46:47

Do They know they sent you a text by mistake, I would speak to them about that, it's unkind and unprofessional, have you still got the text, show it to them. You can call A cas for some advice or ask for a meeting and ask for a family member or friend to go with you,

Iprefercoffeetotea Wed 07-Feb-18 10:17:43

I know it's wrong, but take sick leave for the interviews. They are treating you badly, two wrongs don't make a right and all that but in this case I'd just do it. If you can get an early morning slot you could just say you've been to the dentist or doctors.

Why don't you get a lunch break if you work full time? It's a legal requirement!

whitecremeegg Wed 07-Feb-18 16:25:41

I disagree that you should ask for it as annual leave, it will raise too many questions. Either phone in sick, or get signed off until you find another position. You are being bullied and it's affecting your mental health so you have good reasons to be signed off - show your doctor the text. I'd also speak with acas for advice.

misscheery Sun 11-Feb-18 18:15:48

Placemarking in order to come back with a reply

misscheery Sun 11-Feb-18 18:20:33

Ok, actually got a bit of time now.

OP, I feel trapped too. Pretty much in the exact same situation. I competed for a job that had both an exam and an interview last week, and I didn't get it, unfortunately........ I took sick leave for that.

Now I keep applying to very few jobs because there's lots of unqualified/sales jobs going around and I'm not interested in those. Even if I get an interview soon, not sure how I'm going to leave during the day, as my boss, as you say, asks a ton of questions like where are you going, why, etc.

Not sure what's the solution, I only know that I need to leave soon, because it's affecting my mental health.

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