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Issues at work again(2 Posts)
I’ve posted before about my work, but things have come to a head today and I’m due to have a catch up tomorrow with my manager so any advice would be appreciated.
We are in sales and I’m in the ‘lead’ role. Colleague has been unhappy over the past few months that she’s not getting paid the same as me, has tried to push for a pay rise. When I got promoted (in April) she had only been there 4 months and the additional responsibilities that were added to my job role were minimal - mainly training new members of the team. We had a colleague leave and a new one join (who has since left) and there are no plans to recruit anyone else into the team, so my additional responsibilities aren’t really used at the moment.
Colleague made hints to manager that she did the same job as me in her supervision, she said manager mentioned about adding additional responsibilities which he shouldn’t have done and manager denied doing this. Colleague can throw a strop if things do not go her way and she makes loud comments to manager. Rather than manager shutting her down he appeases her for the easy life.
After Christmas there have been a few incidents where things have not been distributed equally to do with a new topic, whereas in the past they would have been. I tried to bring this up with manager and was told to speak to colleague. Mentioned in the same conversation about the way colleague had been speaking to manager the past day or so and that I wanted to move desk, as I currently have my back to the door/majority of the office and I do not like sitting there. Where I sit now happens to be next to colleague so he told me that I needed to make her aware of this, as it was only going to make things worse. I took this to mean she had said something to him but he didn’t elaborate. He didn’t really mention about the way colleague had been speaking to him (questioning what he’d been doing about leads, insinuating she wasn’t being treated fairly). He also told me that he wanted colleague and I to have meetings about progress of sales. Held off speaking to colleague as there was a meeting taking place this week, which would have impacted on the conversation.
Meeting came and went and the result didn’t entirely go colleague’s way, meaning I’d end up setting up an event and she couldn’t. This was a decision of one of the directors and I had no impact on it. Today I caught her up about the meeting as I had to go in manager’s place. Later on I mentioned something to do with upcoming events from this meeting and colleague started to get a bit funny, questioning why she hadn’t been told about this bit of information. I said I’d told her about it this morning, which I had, but she kept making comments so I asked her if she had a problem. Basically she ended up insinuating that I’d kept some information from her about a customer query I’d taken on Monday regarding these events. She felt that I should have passed it on to her as it was in her area. In all honesty I spoke to the customer, took the query and told the customer we had a meeting which I would make them aware of the outcome. She tried to make out that I was getting aggressively defensive and that she was calm etc. I am usually very quiet and don’t like a fuss, but all I was doing was standing my ground and not raising my voice or anything. In the end I asked colleague to take it up with manager if she had an issue. Manager was present through all of it and said nothing. My phone went so I emailed manager asking to have a word, who then pulled us both into a meeting after my call ended.
When manager stood up he had a smirky grin on his face, which he does when he’s nervous about something, and he was laughing when he asked us to go downstairs. I did comment on this and said the situation was not funny. When we got downstairs, manager just let us both talk. Colleague was trying to make it look like I was being vindictive by keeping info from her, but when I said that to her she said no she wasn’t. I tried to explain to her again that I’d only taken an enquiry and it would have all depended on the outcome of this meeting anyway. She kept picking out things and trying to make it look like I was completely in the wrong and in the end she said I was twisting things. She had turned round and said that all my communication was usually spot on, but with this it hadn’t been. So I responded that she was trying to twist it, to make it look like I’d done something wrong on purpose when I hadn’t done anything intentionally wrong. All the time she kept saying I was being really defensive and she was calm. I hate confrontation so I had a load of adrenaline and anxiety rushing round my body. I didn’t raise my voice at any point and didn’t feel like I was being aggressive. I was trying to defend myself.
Manager jumped in at this point and said ‘she’s not twisting anything’. After first I wasn’t sure who he was talking to but then he said ‘Getorf has every right to defend herself when you’re questioning her honesty’. Colleague then said ‘right, meeting is over’ and got up and walked out. I stayed to talk to manager to just reiterate that I’ve not done anything on purpose, I literally just took the query, as I would have done with any other query. I’d verbally mentioned this query after it came in to colleague and manager. Colleague never said anything at that point and it’s now only a problem because she cannot run what she wants to. Manager said that this has obviously built up and could have been resolved earlier. I asked him about moving desks still and he said he would prefer me not to, at least until this was all sorted out. When we went back upstairs colleague had gone for lunch. After she came back manager did not speak to her at all about the meeting and it’s kind of been swept over like it didn’t happen. Colleague did say to me at one point that she was annoyed with manager because he had ‘made her look like a twat twice today’ (her words) and that in a meeting they’d had this morning he’d had her back about what was discussed in our catch up.
After I left work I emailed manager asking for a catch up tomorrow to go over the events of today, which he has agreed to. I’m not quite sure what I want out of this meeting apart from to clarify some rules we have in place, though I do want to talk about colleague leaving the meeting and manager not addressing that.
Work has been increasingly stressful over the last few months and of colleague is not in a good mood it makes for a tense environment. She was off for a few days recently and I was a lot more relaxed and didn’t feel on eggshells. I am becoming extremely unhappy at work and when I got home today I cried. I don’t really want to go back in tomorrow but I have to. I am the only earner as DH is ill. DH has asked me to give my notice in but I do not want to do that without having a job to go to. He is worried about my mental health. I am looking to leave my job as I cannot do this too much longer.
Any advice about how I address these issues would be appreciated and I am sorry it’s so long
Forgot to say that due to the way today went I am not really happy to do mini catch ups just me and colleague, as I wouldn’t have anyone there as a witness if colleague didn’t like something I’d said. This is not part of my role, we already have weekly catch ups with manager.