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Colleague dates boss, gets promoted, becomes a nightmare and drives staff away. Tell all???

(6 Posts)
Whycantwealljustgetalong Fri 10-Nov-17 19:56:43

So a colleague started dating our boss eight months ago. Two promotions later (for her), and she now has a ‘created’ job title to make her ‘equal’ to me. She is riding roughshod through the staff, dictating and promoting general misery. But our boss, her boyfriend, refuses to see the influence she has on him and how he sees the staff. He accepts her version of numerous dramas she has created and now he has bad opinions of everyone. HR were useless. The final straw for me was her bullying of a staff member to the point where she resigned. Five of us have resigned in the last two weeks to escape the madness. I have a job to go to. This is actually a professional industry and the boss in question is the head of a big department. There’s loads more drama but I guess my question is: Do I vent all in my exit interview or do I play it diplomatically? I kind of want everyone to know what this pair have done to create tension, an atmosphere where staff couldn’t take concerns to their manager, and which has only driven some decent staff out. I actually loved my job. So do I stay professional. Or drop the bomb? To vent or not to vent? Thoughts please.

MaisyPops Fri 10-Nov-17 19:58:44

It sounds hellish.

I would say don't burn too many bridges but don't pretend it's rosy either.

I would stick to factual professional failings from them and not make any reference to the fact that quite clearly shagging someone makes the difference.

Rainyboooooo Fri 10-Nov-17 19:59:48

If HR didn’t care whilst you were there, they won’t care now. Just be grateful to leave the shitshow behind.

Whycantwealljustgetalong Fri 10-Nov-17 20:05:36

Thanks MaisyPops. I think I kind of know that’s what I need to do. 😀 But the little person in me who has been holding in a scream for the last few months dreams of getting even! 🙈🙊 (holding it in) x and Rainyboooooooo you are probably right too. Leave them to it. X

BenLui Fri 10-Nov-17 20:08:19

Do both. Be honest about why you have left but be professional about it.

Leave out emotions and drama and stick to absolutely indisputable facts, including lack of resolution from management and HR.

MaisyPops Fri 10-Nov-17 20:13:59

You can't mention personal things.

I had a situation where friendships dictated a whole load of stuff and the manager was wrapped up in it (naive and flattered by it all). Any reference to people being personal and nasty was brushed off.
I realised quite quickly that people who rely on personal drama are usually incompetent so now I only ever clarify or raise issues that directly reflect badly on their ability to do specific tasks. Nobody can hide from that. And if it's brushed to one side (which it may well be) there's no come back and eventually you find people whi see through it.

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