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How to tell new employer I'm pregnant?

(10 Posts)
FML2017 Mon 06-Nov-17 12:37:53

I started a new job on the weekend, and Im really worrying as I am 19 weeks pregnant didn't tell my employer this at the interview. Reason being I needed the job and felt if i told them, I was unlikely to be offered it under the guise of "someone else is more suited to the role".

I am showing now all of a sudden so I really need to say something. I'm just dreading them thinking I've deceived them (which I have I know, but I needed the job!) and being angry with me over it. How do I tell them? Should I apologise for not saying before? Or just be confident and say it with no apologies, given the fact you don't have to tell an employer until 29 weeks?

It is not my dream job or anything, but due to necessity I am going to have to return once the baby is born, after a couple of months, so they aren't wasting their time training me if that makes any difference.

I pray someone can give advice and make me feel better because I am extremely stressed over this.

NaturWilde Mon 06-Nov-17 12:48:58

I manage a big team and HR is a huge part of my role. I’m honestly shocked that this is even a consideration for women!

You didn’t need to tell your employer at interview and nor have you deceived them! Couples/women/men start families. All the time!

Congratulations on your new job. Tell them when you feel ready, within the specified time.

You have done nothing wrong! Enjoy pregnancy and work and honestly, please do not worry.

FML2017 Mon 06-Nov-17 12:50:56

Thank you! I Need to keep my head in that mindset rather than feeling like I'm revealing some awful crime I've committed

prettyprettyprettyprettyghoul Mon 06-Nov-17 13:04:52

I think you need to tell them by 25 weeks, not 29.

Don’t feel bad about not telling them before. The sad fact is that they may have (illegally) decided not to offer you the job due to your pregnancy. There are sooooo many examples of this happening. You haven’t done anything wrong.

FML2017 Mon 06-Nov-17 13:15:26

You're right pretty it is 25weeks. Thanks, feeling a lot better about it

chipscheeseandgravy Mon 06-Nov-17 13:43:05

I got sacked the day I found out I was pregnant. Quickly found a new job and didn’t mention I was pregnant (legally I didn’t have to). Got the job and told them at about 20 weeks. They didn’t have an issue, wished me congratulations and sorted the formalities of work place assessment and maternity pay etc. I’ve now worked there for around 2 years. At no point was my pregnancy an issue. My company will only do things if they legally have to. I had a 6 month probation, so they could have easily got rid of me if they wanted to.

You can mention at the interview so you don’t have the stress. At the end of the interview explain you are x weeks pregnant, you intend to work up to the end of your pregnancy. Smile and ask if they have any additional questions.

Alternatively wait until you get an offer and then maybe ask if the offer can be emailed over and then email them stating you are pregnant and that you are due to x date.

If you don’t want them finding out at interview wear something baggy as opposed to something form fitting. They may guess. They probably won’t care unless the job means you can’t do it if your pregnant.

The quicker you tell them, the easier it will be.

Viviennemary Mon 06-Nov-17 13:47:39

In your case if you're only having a couple of months off I think that's fine. But I think starting a new job and then wanting a year off is cheeky.

KirstyJC Mon 06-Nov-17 13:53:38

Congratulations! Just tell them by the 25 weeks, or sooner if you need time off for antenatal appts etc. Do they have a maternity policy? Once you inform them then you would be covered eg for pregnancy-related sickness or a risk assessment if you can no longer do part of the work without modifications. So if this might be an issue then maybe tell them sooner.

Ausparent Mon 06-Nov-17 14:29:41

Don't tell them until you are ready. Protections are there for a reason.

You will suffer enough in the workplace as a woman and a mother. Don't line yourself up for any more than you have to flowers

scrabbler3 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:31:32

Congrats on the job and the pregnancy.

You've done nothing wrong.

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