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Untrustworthy manager and shady goings on in the office

(14 Posts)
MiniMummy576 Fri 27-Oct-17 10:57:56

To give you an idea of background there have been some serious issues in my office over the last couple of months - there've been issues for a while but things have recently gotten worse. The managers bicker amongst themselves, argue in the main office and at least one of them ends up in tears each week. Add to that their PA who they've allowed free reign with her attitude has been creating an atmosphere with her bullying attitude, swears a lot and is generally rude to people. There's a lot of backstabbing and throwing people under buses. Complaints have been made to HR.

I started applying for other jobs about 4 months ago. I didn't want anyone to know I had an interview for my latest job application, but eventually told my manager as a courtesy. I asked to speak to him privately and then told him. The next day the person who shares an office with my manager asked about the interview, in front of someone else, who told someone else.... You get the picture. I'm really annoyed that he told someone else about my interview and am thinking of mentioning how disappointed I am that he passed on something I had said to him privately.

So first question: strictly speaking, do I have to tell my manager when I go for interviews? Is it only a courtesy or is it mandatory?

The other thing is that I've had a meeting invite for next week with my manager, his line manager, my colleague and another manager from a different department (that still comes under the umbrella of the main department, IYSWIM). The meeting is titled 'discussion re the next few months'.
I'm suspicious because my other colleague hasn't been invited and none of the other manager's team have been invited, so I can't really see what it's about. I'm worried that it's a meeting to discuss 'management' of my pregnancy (I don't go on maternity leave until the next financial year).

So my second question: if it is indeed a meeting about my pregnancy am I allowed to just say 'I'm sorry, I don't feel that this is appropriate until I've had a private discussion with my line manager?'

MomToWedThorFriday Fri 27-Oct-17 11:04:04

Unless you’re taking time off for interviews I don’t think you have to disclose at all? My DH recently got a new job and the first his dickhead manager knew of it was when he handed in his notice.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Fri 27-Oct-17 11:07:24

You don't need to tell ANYONE! In fact I would strongly advise against it. However, the cat is out of the bag now and they will know you are looking for employment elsewhere. Which totally weakens your position where you are... best of luck finding a new job, sounds like a horrible place to work!

unfortunateevents Fri 27-Oct-17 11:21:08

Oh dear, why on earth did you tell them that you were looking for other jobs? Re a meeting about the next few months, if you are pregnant they are perfectly entitled to have a meeting about covering your maternity leave and may wish to have your input into that. However, now that you have made it clear you wish to leave, the meeting may take a very different direction.

trixymalixy Fri 27-Oct-17 11:34:21

Why would you tell them you are going for an interview?!

It's not the done thing.

MiniMummy576 Fri 27-Oct-17 11:48:42

I told because the first time I went for an interview, I'd asked one of the other managers to be my reference. She was really shocked I hadn't told my manager and she essentially told me that if I didn't tell him she would because it would reflect badly on me and her when he found out and he would be really pissed off.

unfortunateevents Fri 27-Oct-17 12:00:59

Again, you did not need to tell another manager that you were using them as a reference until you had actually been offered a job and the new employer was going to take up references. On your application, you could either have said that references would be provided on request or if it was essential to provide them then, put down the contact details but made it clear that they were only to be contacted if you were offered a job. It should be clear to any sensible company that this is the situation anyway but always worth making it clear.

By asking a manager other than your line manager, she is right that you were putting her in an awkward position. Quite possibly, your company has a policy of only HR responding to reference requests anyway so your request may have been unnecessary.

You have unfortunately really weakened your position with the company. Look at it from their viewpoint - you are a pregnant employee who will be leaving on maternity leave for a year, you are obviously unhappy and looking around for new jobs, what do you think their thought process is for replacing you?

MiniMummy576 Fri 27-Oct-17 12:12:22

unfortunateevents Surely it's polite to ask someone if you can use them as a reference before putting their name down? I was a little hmm when someone phoned me asking for a reference for someone. She hadn't asked me, which I thought was really rude.

Also, I'm not leaving the company, just changing departments. I've explained that it's just that I'm looking for new challenges. The company has a policy of promoting personal and professional development so the fact that I'm looking to improve my skills base after 10 years in the same role really shouldn't even make them bat an eyelid.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Fri 27-Oct-17 12:15:27

Also, I'm not leaving the company, just changing departments.

Ah, OK that changes things. However, when do you start maternity leave? it may not make much sense to change roles until you come back afterwards? Perhaps this is what they want to discuss.

unfortunateevents Fri 27-Oct-17 12:15:44

Well you left out the very important point in your previous posts that you were looking for an internal promotion! In your first post, you said "applying for other jobs". It might be "polite" to ask someone before using their name for a reference but you have seen now the mess it can land you in! Unless you thought the manager would have had some major issue with providing a reference, the time to ask them was immediately AFTER you had been offered the job and BEFORE they were approached for the reference.

daisychain01 Fri 27-Oct-17 12:55:15

If you get invited for interview for an internal position, it is only at that point you need to tell your current manager.

Don’t think about it in terms of being “polite”. Keep your plans to yourself until you have to share, and only then, relevant information Don’t trust anyone not even your manager to keep things confidential.

The meeting regarding the next few months - that’s likely to be about how your role will be covered during your Mat Leave. It wouldn’t be in your interests not to cooperate if you intend to stay in the company.

EBearhug Mon 30-Oct-17 08:57:59

We have to tell our manager if we apply for internal jobs. It would count against you if you didn'the. External jobs you don't have to.

flowery Mon 30-Oct-17 10:34:08

When you need to tell your manager about applying for internal roles depends entirely on how things work in your organisation, and also on when in the process references are sought.

Yes absolutely you are right to speak to your manager in advance of a reference being sought - I was astonished at a thread on here a while back where someone didn't intend to do that.

But in addition there might be an internal policy where you have to notify your manager when you apply, or they might seek references before the interview stage where you work.

Also it's important to bear in mind the size and culture of the organisation. In some very large organisations managers may not know each other, or your internal vacancy might be on a completely different site/be a completed unrelated role. Managers speaking to each other is less likely there than in a smaller organisation, or if your preferred new role is nearby or working closely with your current team.

Anatidae Mon 30-Oct-17 10:39:12

We have to inform managers of any planned or requested internal move.

I wouldn’t inform them of any external move until I had it as a signed deal.

You can take notes and request hr attend any meeting. Follow up with an email confirming everything discussed so it’s written down. Paper trail, always.

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