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Am I wrong?

(12 Posts)
AlexsMum89 Mon 16-Oct-17 17:34:19

I'm feeling a bit worried, so I'm sorry I'm advance I think this is going to be a long post.

I am 10 weeks pregnant. I work for a big company and have done for 11 years. I've worked tirelessly for the past 4 years to gain a big qualification and get a promotion. Despite it very much being put to me that I would get a promotion when I qualify, it has taken me a year and a half post qualification to get an offer and it has been so hard.

Once I knew I was pregnant I decided to stop applying but I had one last application left and I got an interview. Then much to my surprise I was offered the job! It's a 12 month secondment but these things often turn into permanent jobs.

I would be a fool to turn it down. It could literally take me another 1 1/2 years post return from mat leave (so another 3 years) to get another offer. So I accepted.

I've started handover, it's going great. I'm so happy about my new job. But I know i can only do about 6 months of it. Even if I only do 6 months and go back to my old job later it will be so much easier now to get the job I want permanently with this on my CV. And I do hope that my new team will see me as valuable and maybe want me to come back post my leave.

But I'm still questioning myself. It feels very deceitful, but in fairness I was so early on when I put the application in i felt I couldn't assume the pregnancy would go well, and I still haven't had a dating scan yet.

Now to top it off, I told my old manager that I'm pregnant and she is suddenly giving me a hard time about the secondment, indicating that she might block it (it's not yet formalised with HR). She's also told another member of the team about the pregnancy without my permission, when I had told her in confidence and said it was too early to tell people. I'm really not happy. I'm worried she has or will tell my new team or use this knowledge to block the secondment (but face it with another reason). I feel stupid for telling her now.

Have I done the wrong thing? Any advice? confused

TheCatsMother99 Mon 16-Oct-17 17:58:16

You're not allowed to be discriminated against because you're pregnant, and that includes promotions etc. So if they block your secondment because you're pregnant they could be in serious trouble although it sounds as though them knowing you're pregnant was by word of mouth rather than in writing so you need to be careful that they don't claim they didn't know.

If I were you I would email your boss/whoever you need to confirming your pregnancy and reminding them that you have informed them in confidence so colleagues aren't to be informed until you say so. This covers two bases, one in that there is a record of you informing them so they cant discriminate against you unless they fancy being sued and also making the point that they aren't allowed to tell anyone without your say so (even though we know they have already).

pastabest Mon 16-Oct-17 18:09:57

I've written out a response a couple of times but at the end of the day I'm no expert in employment law or HR so I didn't want to give you bad advice.

I do suggest you report your post though and ask for it to be moved to employment issues. A lot of people hide the pregnancy topic and you might be missing out on really good advice by it being here instead of in employment.

smu06set Mon 16-Oct-17 18:14:57

Go to HR about your manager disclosing your pregnancy without your permission, that's not ok.
It will also put you in a strong position with the managers threat to block the transfer. They would have to have strong and non pregnancy reasons to reject the move now you've been offered it.
Keep positive smile

unsureaboutthis2 Mon 16-Oct-17 18:53:06

From my experience of working at a big company it's dog eat dog. If you don't take this, somebody who probably isn't half as qualified or as good at the job as you will and that will be infuriating!!

You've been there 11 years, have loads to offer and presumably want to go back after you've given birth so it'd be madness not to give you the job. If they block it I think you'd have good grounds for a discrimination case.

AlexsMum89 Mon 16-Oct-17 20:02:11

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the help. I'll see if I can get it moved as well x

AlexsMum89 Mon 16-Oct-17 20:56:00

Thank you for being supportive everyone, I was expecting someone to tell me I was selfish to accept the job to be honest

daisychain01 Tue 17-Oct-17 07:05:56

OP please be very clear about your right

Now to top it off, I told my old manager that I'm pregnant and she is suddenly giving me a hard time about the secondment, indicating that she might block it (it's not yet formalised with HR)

Your manager is openly discriminating against you. Document what she has said or done, with dates so you don’t forget this.

You do not have to apologise or feel deceitful for being pg.

You need to ensure the company gives you exactly the same opportunity as a male (or non-pg woman) applicant and that includes enabling you to go off on Mat Leave, and return to your role, with your maternity rights intact. If they don’t, then you definitely have a case for discrimination.

daisychain01 Tue 17-Oct-17 07:06:14


HollyBollyBooBoo Tue 17-Oct-17 07:56:52

It's truly scary what goes on in some companies.

So she can block a secondment, they are usually at line managers discretion and only if they meet the needs of the business, I.e if it's not possible to backfill your position she could block it. But if she was supportive previously and now you've told her you're pregnant and she's talking about blocking it....complete discrimination!!

Document every conversation and in detail not just top line. Put things in email so you have evidence. Presumably she'll need to make a decision soon as to whether you can go or not so that the new team know if/when you're joining?

HollyBollyBooBoo Tue 17-Oct-17 07:59:02 my rage at how some companies treat people I forgot to say congrats on your pregnancy! Amazing times ahead x

AlexsMum89 Tue 17-Oct-17 08:13:07

Argh I wrote a whole reply and deleted it by accident! I'll be back later with some proper sentences!

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