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What to make of my boss

(7 Posts)
Nootheroptionforname Fri 13-Oct-17 14:39:09

I often feel that my boss finds reasons to disagree with me for nearly everything. It can be the smallest of things. Being seen as smart is incredibly important to him and although he is not mean, he is definitely self-centred and thinks only about himself. Any expression of interest in others is purely surface. I've notice that he is more receptive of the views of other men who he considers geeks. I am highly educated and well-respected for my intelligence but I feel that my boss thinks that my views are of little worth. I often feel undermined by this. He is very clever by the way but completely lacking in leadership skills, and that is no exaggeration.

I do find myself getting increasingly angry and frustrated and wondered if there are any strategies for counteracting his behaviour without entering into a battle of wills.

We are both senior, but he is above me in terms of seniority. I worry about the impact on my career progression and the picture he might be painting of me to more senior people.

Any advice would be appreciated.

daisychain01 Fri 13-Oct-17 19:21:10

Was he like this towards you from when he recruited you? Did he ' inherit ' you from his previous incumbent?

Nootheroptionforname Fri 13-Oct-17 20:07:08

I'm trying to make sense of it but I'm struggling to. I was already in the department and doing very, very well. Since he has joined I feel unable to shine like I used to.

The whole situation makes me cry sometimes. Mainly because I can't figure out why things are the way they are and what to do about it.

In the short time his been here, senior colleagues in other parts of the organisation have complained about the way he engages with them and that they feel he does not listen. His relationship with a colleague on the same level as me completely broke down because of his behaviour. But I feel he at least took on board their suggestions or agreed with their point of view. In in my case he simply disagrees with everything I say or constantly tries to assert himself. Sometimes, it feels like he does not even want to give me the chance to put across my views.

It is very upsetting.

zippydoodaar Fri 13-Oct-17 21:34:47

I think you have to remember that this is about him and not you. I wouldn't waste time and energy trying to work out why this is happening.

I would minimise my contact with him and hatch a plan to get away from him internally within the organisation or externally at a new company.

daisychain01 Sat 14-Oct-17 08:57:25

The reason for my earlier questions was because a new manager joining a company or dept or team, is very often the source of relationship “disruptions”, either positive or negative. The organisation move people around, like your boss, they bring fresh ideas to the job and bring about change. They try to exert power and authority to get their feet under the desk and “show who’s boss”. He contradicts you and uses the “not invented here” approach because he wants to stamp his mark and only adopt his own ideas or those that closely align to what he wants. That’s why there are so many ‘yes men’ in today’s organisations, people who keep their jobs but darent speak out if it isn’t in agreement with the boss.

The boss wants his own crew, if he inherits staff there is no loyalty from him because your someone else’s choice, not his. He may feel your loyalties are to the previous incumbent.

You are not the problem, even though it feels as if it’s aimed at you, it really isn’t.

Snog Sat 21-Oct-17 09:49:32

I would leave in this situation as it sounds like a dispiriting environment in which to work.

disahsterdahling Sat 21-Oct-17 15:49:18

I wouldn't leave. Why should the OP have to lose her job security and start from the beginning again with the two year period for unfair dismissal and the like because she's working for a twit?

OP, I'd keep a diary of all the incidents, email yourself an account of each incident. Maybe tell other people to do the same.

Is there a 360 feedback scheme? If there is, you can feed back to him about his manner and way of disregarding your views.

Day to day, I'd simply put my hand up if he starts to interrupt and say "can I please finish what I was saying" and similar techniques. He'll soon get the message that you are not be put down or ignored. It sounds like you have confidence in your abilities, so don't let him undermine that. If he continues to not want to listen, then you have to raise the issue. You're senior, you can do that.

However, if he's new, be open to his ideas too - it can be quite energy-sucking for someone when everyone says "oh we tried that it didn't work" - maybe it didn't but sometimes a tweak to an old process can make all the difference.

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