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Pregnancy being used against me?(4 Posts)
Hello! My first step onto Mumsnet... Signed up to see if there was any advice on this but decided to start my own thread instead - sorry for long post as I said I'm new!
I am 15 weeks pregnant and until now my bosses have been supportive.
Until now... I raised a grievance about a male colleague who has been pushing his luck (not just with me.)- I could write a much longer list of things he has done but over all just terrible attitude, lazy, has awful hygiene issues, generally passive aggressive to everyone. My issue was that as I handed a client to him on the phone that he didn't want to speak to he thought he could get aggressive and snapped at me.
Previously we have been told - any issues in the business we go to directors. (only 2 directors in the business - no HR)
After biting my tongue about him after 6 months in the company I wrote a very professional and factual email to director 1 about what had happened and that I will not be spoken to like that.
Director 2 (a woman and mother)called me in - unexpectedly - and told me I was over reacting to the issue this would be due to me being emotional and hormonal.
I have to understand that his job is quite stressful and can't always take calls off the bat (he reads comic books all day.)
I have showed no signs of my pregnancy otherwise affecting my work (if anything I am so elated and happy about my pregnancy that I am happier than ever. No close friends or family members or husband have commented on any hormonal changes.) and Director 2 doesn't work in the office so does not know my personality or what has been going on on the daily. I was so gobsmacked at the feedback I couldn't find the words to defend myself.
Anyone else felt like their pregnancy was used against them? Should I say something and rock the boat? or lay low until Mat leave?
I raised a grievance about a male colleague
Did you only raise your grievance informally (i.e. Verbally)? Was their grievance response the Director 2 coming in and having the impromptu conversation?
If so, I advise you to take the process to the next step if you are unhappy with how your grievance was handled informally. You may feel this is rocking the boat but it's what you have to do if you feel the matter is serious enough to affect your work performance.
Otherwise if you feel it would sour the relationship then yes you'd have to put your head down and stay quiet till your Mat Leave.
If you are not planning to return then probably the latter approach is better in the long run.
Just to clarify, taking it to the next step would be putting your grievance in writing.
I emailed the issue to Director 1 on the same day that it happened as factually and to the point as I could.
Yes their poor attempt at a response was the impromptu meeting with Director 2 - which ended in her telling me that in future if you have issues inside the office to deal with them face to face because Dir 1 has no time for these sorts of problems. - Have been advised to ask her to put her response in writing but she has every right to ask why I want that. The truth is perhaps if this happens again I might need to use it.
Other female members of staff have told me that they are intimidated by the male colleague - he has said things like 'all children should be burnt' and when he was told about my pregnancy his response was 'thats why you should employ more men' - not someone I would feel comfortable with confronting - however the Directors do everything they can to protect him all the time.
This has cemented to me that I will not be returning to this company so laying low - however unjust it feels - does make more sense.