Horrible colleagues

(10 Posts)
Chickenpie9 Fri 25-Aug-17 23:17:57

I've worked in the same role for 4 years and within my department for 9 years now . When I applied for my current role a woman who had worked for the company longer than me but on a lower grade applied for the same job and didn't get it . She now manages a department within my current job but has no real working links with me except being in the same building (she works in admin I do something quite different ) . It's got to the point though where I cannot stand going into work because of this woman . She has to use some of the space in our office and when she comes in she greets everyone else except me she slams doors and huffs and puffs and constantly makes digs about me getting paid more than her . Our company has a flexi time policy and as I'm usually in early I usually leave on time as all our work is more than done and this also attracts snide comments from her about part time working despite me having checked with my own manager umpteen times if I can generally flexi out once work completed . In general she is a very bitter person I have tried more than once to get along with her and every time it comes back to bite me in the face , usually whenever I think we are getting along the next day she will come into work in a mood and make her comments . My other colleagues work on a rota system so although they notice her attitude they don't feel the impact of it as much as me . I am good at my job and enjoy other aspects of it except this woman . I've spoke about her to my manager but from what other colleagues have told me the manager won't do much as they have worked with her in a previous life and kno what she's like and don't want to risk upsetting her . Apologies for the long post but I've had a rotten week with this and it's getting to point it's taking over my out of work thoughts too .

OP’s posts: |
daisychain01 Sat 26-Aug-17 05:11:38

If this person has nothing to do with your actual job, I'm not sure why you have to be affected by her. If you just ignore her, what can she do, why do you need to engage with her?

and as I'm usually in early I usually leave on time

if you leave on time, but arrive earlier than you should, how is that flexi-time? Based on this description, you are doing more than your contracted hours, not less. Or am I missing something...

Chottie Sat 26-Aug-17 05:20:31

It sounds to me as if this woman is jealous of you. You and her will never be bosom buddies, just ignore her and get on with your work. Do not react to any of her comments. In life there will always be someone like this. Do not give her any head space.

I don't understand your flexi time comments either. If you arrive early, and work your hours surely this means you leave early?

looneymumtoteens Sat 26-Aug-17 06:26:37

I had an issue with a colleague in my last job look up passive aggressive behaviour and you will see all the traits she is using. I completely ignored her like she didn't exist and any time she tried to engage I smiled and kept walking it was very empowering and when she saw that I did not rise to her she found someone else to pick on sad cow. Keep your chin up OP she is a sad pathetic person!

zippydoodaar Sat 26-Aug-17 08:24:00

I would completely ignore her. If she is near you and huffing and puffing get up and go to the toilet. Just look past her as if she is completely invisible. Never mention her.

She wants some acknowledgement from you. Don't give it to her.

If her name arises in conversation I'd be inclined to pity her. "Yes, it's such a shame that Anne seems to be so unhappy...."

Chickenpie9 Sat 26-Aug-17 09:54:07

Sorry I haven't explained the flexi time thing well what I was trying I say was that as I'm always in early and take a shorter lunch I'm normally in plenty of credit for flexi so if I leave early I'm using the credit I have built up .theres a few other things this woman does that unfortunately I can't go into detail about as our job is in a very specific area of work and we have a tiny team but I do think the ignoring is a good idea and I will do that unless there's any work related discussions where I will be civil . I just don't understand why people want to behave as she is as I personally find anytime I've been on bad terms with someone very draining and feel a huge sense of relief when we start speaking again .

OP’s posts: |
Chottie Sat 26-Aug-17 13:45:42

Chicken sometimes you just have to accept that other people behave in different ways to how you would. Just accept this is the way she is and move on.

Don't ever feel you have to justify yourself to her either. I would just have a permanent serene expression on my face and not react to any comment from her. She wants a reaction from you - don't give it to her. She sounds quite bitter and sad.....

Timefortea99 Sat 26-Aug-17 21:01:32

I first heard the expression grey rock on here. That is what I do - I have a colleague who makes passive aggressive comments about me. I don't have any dealings with her other than sharing open plan/kitchen. Since hearing that phrase I just act like grey rock, don't speak to her, or look at her. It seems to be doing the trick.

Chickenpie9 Sat 26-Aug-17 21:28:17

I love that ! I think I will try to be like grey rock now too wink

OP’s posts: |
ladyyyglittersparkles Sun 27-Aug-17 00:34:33

Tell her to fuck right off! 👊🏻😡
Hate people like this

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