Is this the final straw?

[FriedPisces]

I've been very very unhappy in my job for 18 months. It's a part time admin role and I'm good at it in the sense that I can do it easily but over the past 18 months have felt worse and worse about it. The following are some examples of what has made me feel crap:

I've been "disciplined" for doing something wrong but hadn't had training so they got around it by giving me a "letter of concern" instead of an official warning.

A colleague angrily shouted at me over the course of a morning because I mentioned that the way he was telling me something was too fast and jumbled and I jokingly told him I was getting annoyed.

I joined the company on the basis of semi flexible working to fit in with childcare. This was revoked a year into the role.

There are many many other "small" issues like pay/benefits (lack of)/other colleagues angrily shouting at members of staff/a deep seated lack of morale amongst all staff members etc but too many to list in full.

Today I had two days annual leave signed off by my manager. For previous annual leave requests he asked me to check with my equivalent person in one of our other offices to see if she was off but "the odd day or two doesn't matter." So I didn't check as it was two days - surely covered by his arbitrary "day or two" rule. She is off it turns out. He has told me I need to "get it sorted and let me know on Friday". The days off are the day of my DD's birthday and the day after it.

I was so so so close to telling him that was it.

I have no other job to go to.
I have primary aged children so full time isn't a comfortable option.
I think getting signed off sick will affect future job chances.
I am so desperately unhappy there. I am utterly miserable and I hate it.
We would definitely struggle financially until I secure another job. £200 monthly shortfall + ad hoc expenses such as uniform.

Is this it? It's never going to get better. I can't have my DD's birthday off because of an arbitrary rule. Is that my final straw? Shall I risk leaving or is that a stupid thing to do? I cannot see clearly anymore. WTF should I do?

[AreWeThereYet000]

Could you not have her birthday off but cancel the day after?

It is crappy the way you have been treated can you contact the union?

[LIZS]

Do you really need these days off? Will your dd be at home or school on the day? Tbf you were asked to check, had you done so the manager could then have used his/her discretion as to whether the business can cope or not.

[FriedPisces]

I could just take one day. It's in the school holidays so will need cover anyway though.

He only asked me to check for more than two days. He's moved the goalposts after the fact. And it's more the principal and yet another thing on top of all their other shit rather than the days off.

[daisychain01]

I wouldn't resign over the things you mention, the loss of income would affect you and your family.

On the holiday request, whether it is 1 day, 2 days or whatever, the fact is you didn't check and unluckily there was a conflict of dates. Unfortunately if you're not in his good books, you're giving him more reasons to give you a hard time.

For future Leave days, I'd be showing him you did your due diligence even before you request the Leave days, and confirm no conflict. See it from his perspective, it isn't an arbitrary rule to have cover in the office, its good practice.

[Longdistance]

Surely it's your managers job to say yes or no to your leave. Not 'go see who's on leave', that's not your job, that's the managers job to sort,

Another shit lazy manager 🙄 Never heard of anyone needing to check if anyone else is off. That's his/her job.

Go look for something else in the meantime.

[daisychain01]

I don't agree it's always "the manager's job". If the manager has asked the employee to check there's cover, I'd say that was reasonable especially if it's just emailing one other person "I'm thinking of taking next Thurs and Friday off, are you in the office those days?"

[FriedPisces]

Thanks all.

To be honest it's an accumulation of things and I always wonder what the final straw will be for me.

I understand the need to have cover and the need to check there will be someone available. What I objected to was the fact that my equivalent in our other office has never been asked to check with me, and the fact that he had specifically said I didn't need to check for 1 or 2 days.

I am going to take back 1 day and I am going to point out those things in as calm a way as I can.

As far as I am aware I'm not in his bad books. I suspect I will be after this though.

[daisychain01]

Re: the colleague giving you info at 100 mph, I can empathise. I can't stand it when people throw detailed info at me and expect me to understand and remember what the heck they are going on about.

I get round it by writing stuff down and also echo-ing it back to them "Fred, so just to be clear about what you're saying there, you said x y z" and make sure they agree or correct. Sometimes people do it to look 'clever' and shroud things in mystery by making them seem complicated - tedious!