This is a long story but I am struggling to sleep with the anxiety of it.
I have been in my current job coming up to a year now. For most of this I worked in a small office with a man who is 30 years older than me (I am 25). It was just the 2 of us for the most part and he was in a more senior position than I was. From day one he had me touching me, grabbing my hips from behind, massaging my shoulders and making lewd comments etc. It all culminated when he grabbed my waist so hard and pulled me towards him, he left bruising on my ribs.
About 3 months ago, I walked in on a conversation between a group of our volunteers (I work for a charity) discussing how uncomfortable he made them feel and I decided to speak to a colleague of mine who was the same position as him. She advised me that she would speak to their line manager. She did this and the line manager spoke to HR. HR requested a meeting with me and explained that I had 3 options, let it go, make a formal complaint and launch a full investigation, or I could sit him down and tell him how I felt. I am not confrontational in the slightest and I didn't like the thought of a formal investigation as I knew it would make working in the office extremely unpleasant. I reviewed our policies and noted that it stated that while I may not chose to make a formal complaint, HR may still launch an investigation. I advised HR that I did not want to proceed with the formal complaint but I felt that someone needed to discuss his behaviour with him, as people we come into contact with regularly were discussing it.
During this time a colleague from another office left her job and management asked if I would mind moving over temporarily to help out. I agreed to do so on the basis that I would return to my old post ASAP as I really do enjoy my actual job. They agreed and set a start date. The first day I started on the new office, I was called into a meeting with HR who advised me that they had gone to this man and told him all of the information I had told them and named me as the accuser. HR told me that they would like to offer me a contract for the new post I was going to be temporarily covering and it was in my best interests to take it as they may have to consider making me redundant come Sept 2018 (this is a lie as I have a permenant contract which states that in Sept 2018 I will be moved to another office to do the same role). I refused this and insisted that I will be returning to my substantive post regardless.
The next day I received a phone call from this man's line manager informing me that I would be moving teams to cover a new area of the country and that the person employed to cover that area will now be looking after the area I managed. When I asked exactly why I was being moved teams I was told that it was this man's preference that I do so.
This move was not discussed with me, other than to inform me that it would be happening and has resulted in me having to get an hour long bus to a completely different part of the country at least twice a week, which is quite stressful for me as travelling plays up my anxiety. It also does not suit my personal schedule.
Shortly after this conversation, I had a meeting with HR during which I was asked for all allegations and proof, which I provided them with. Following this, our CEO went to this man and suspended him. This left our office empty and I expected to return to it and my substantive post. Instead, the moved the person who was changed to look after my area.
This has now been ongoing for coming up to 3 months, with no updates given to me as to what is happening and my emails going unanswered. I have seen temp job ads for my substantive post which has made me feel sick and angry that this decision was taken away from me. I regret mentioning any of this to anyone.
I have tried to speak to my line manager about how stressed I am feeling and she advised me to go home and drink a bottle of wine. She also advised me that I should stick my head out the window to make it look like I hadn't been crying as I would need to leave via a busy office and there were staff in there who hate it when people cry.
In addition to all this, it has now come back to me that some volunteers have told people querying this man's absence that I have been telling lies about him and that I am a "vindictive little b*h".
My job involves working with people who are victims of sexual violence and the families of murder/manslaughter victims. It is stressful enough without all of this.
I have an appt with my GP tomorrow to discuss time off for stress and my question is do you think this is an okay idea? I am scared incase my GP says no or that it doesn't qualify as not being fit for work. Has anyone had any similar experiences and was your GP sympathetic to what you were going through?
Sorry for such a long thread, I just needed to get it all out!
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Assaulted and sexually harassed at work - Advice on stress leave
11 replies
Daisywine · 29/06/2017 02:16
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