Complicated situation but I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. I work in corporate setting in local government. For the past 9 months I've been 'acting up' into a senior role, reporting directly to the CX. It's a job I've always had ambitions for and I've loved in parts and found hugely stressful in others. It's a full on role, no real support, nowhere to hide, dysfunctional team - but in a line of work I'm really experienced in and love. The process is now just kicking off to recruit to the post permanently. I've been told this is going to happen and that my application would be welcomed. It's a brilliant opportunity and on paper I should stand a half decent chance of getting it - BUT I find myself seriously questioning whether I want to apply. I'm worried about whether I can handle it on a permanent basis and whether it's even what I want. If I don't apply/don't get it I go back to my substantive post. I know this would feel like going backwards career wise and I was feeling hugely frustrated and hemmed in in that role before this opportunity arose so I'd more than likely have to cope with those feelings again but i wonder whether that is a sacrifice worth making to be less stressed and have more time for my children and less time glued to my phone/laptop. I'm so torn on this and would really welcome thoughts from others. Thanks for reading!
You've had the advantage of the inside track on the new role, so you've had a 9 month 'dress rehearsal' in advance of potentially doing the role permanently.
Your impression at this stage don't sound promising a full on role, no real support, nowhere to hide, dysfunctional team
Do you think that if you can get your feet under the desk permanently you will be given authority to make positive change and gain the support you need plus get everyone working more effectively as a team? Your 'acting up' status may not have been sufficient to do much more than keep things ticking over.
Often all it takes is a strong leader (like you?) to turn things around.