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I was bullied and treated unfairly

(4 Posts)
TheBreastmilksOnMe Wed 05-Apr-17 21:05:10

Several years ago I worked for the NHS as a trainee community nurse.

It was a 2yr apprenticeship with a view to being employed full time after qualifying.

I was 21when I got the job and it was full time hours working in a little clinic with two other members of staff.

The one who was supposed to be training me up was a horrible piece of work who spoke to me like a piece of shit and made me feel awful.

The culture of the whole 'community' was pretty bitchy and after a while I developed anxiety, bulimia and depression and had to take anti-depressants for it.

One day after she indirectly called me 'a dirty fucking bastard' as I had forgot to pop some instruments into the steriliser overnight I worked up the courage to 'confront' her and ask her not to speak to me like that, she went bananas and shortly after I found myself working in a different location.

I was extremely naive and trusting of people, as I have always been, and I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve so I was easy prey to these people.

I was happier in the new place although there was still a lot of unpleasantness and bitchiness and the feeling you get when you think people have been talking and saying bad things about you behind your back.

I became quite good friends with my superior and we would go out as a group together when she suddenly turned on me for no reason and ,get me completely confused and bewildered as to what had gone wrong. I was so upset as I thought we had become firm friends and I couldn't work out what I had said or done to cause such a turnaround in her attitude towards me.

Years later, she and I had a meet up and she apologised to me about her behaviour, she said that she saw me as young, pretty and confident and she was jealous of me. If only she knew that at the time I was suffering from anxiety, bullimia and depression!

Not long after she turned on me my training period came to an end and I found myself without a job offer even though I was a fantastic nurse, scored highly in my exams and always worked hard and did my best. Their reasons? There was an employment embargo within the nhs therefore they weren't taking on anymore staff.

Now it's several years later and I'm no longer the timid, walkover girl I was then, and I no longer suffer from bulimia or depression. It's taken me this long to get my self-esteem back and come to the realisation that I was bullied and intimidated and perhaps unfairly 'dismissed'.

My self-esteem used to be so low that I actually thought being treated like that was ok!!

Now, I'm angry about it. And I'm wondering if there is any way I can claim compensation for the distress that they caused me.

If anyone has any advice I'd be very grateful to hear it.

daisychain01 Thu 06-Apr-17 03:27:38

It sounds like you have come on an incredible personal journey where you have learned a lot about yourself, and built up your reserves of resilience and personal esteem after an awful experience. This is in itself a major achievement and of far greater value of anything you could hope to achieve by putting yourself through the arduous journey of a Tribunal.

What you could have done at the time was to lodge a grievance, calling on the NHSs bullying policy, and for them to have held your manager to account for their bad behaviour. I'm afraid that time has past. You always need to act on these matters at the time.

I would suggest you move forward positively in the knowledge you will not be treated like that again because you are stronger.

daisychain01 Thu 06-Apr-17 03:28:39

Of far greater value than you could hope to achieve...

TheBreastmilksOnMe Thu 06-Apr-17 21:07:44

daisychain-

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Didn't realise it was so long 😁

You are right, I should have done something about it at the time, but I didn't even realise it was wrong 😲

It just makes me 😡 now thinking about it but im not going to lose any sleep over it, like you've said I've come a looong way and done a lot of work on myself. For that I'm going to give myself a pat on the back! Thanks again! 💐

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