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Really unhappy, advice pleas

(12 Posts)
Uptowngal Sun 02-Apr-17 17:49:37

I've recently started working for a really good friend. Out of work she's lovely. In work she's an absolute nightmare. My workload is umanagable - her response to this is I need to stop moaning and get on with it and no, she apparently can't afford more staff for the workload. She is aggressive and undermines my confidence regularly. I'm am usually a strong, calm and happy person. I'm now miserable, stressed and feel like I'm loosing my sanity in work and know out of work too. I'm loosing it with my kids and that's a line in the sand for me. If this was a regular job I'd tell them to stick it and never go back BUT she's a friend and I'm very loyal. I know if I walk tomorrow her business will suffer and our friendship will be ruined. Please, if anyone has any advice or has had similar I'd love to hear from you. I'm at my wits end and concerned for my mental health. Thanks in advance x

Horsemad Sun 02-Apr-17 18:32:15

Friend or not, I wouldn't be taken for a mug.
You know what you have to do...

PollytheDolly Sun 02-Apr-17 18:42:14

She's taking the piss because you're her friend. I'd leave.

She doesn't sound like a friend anyway, making you feel like that x

Uptowngal Sun 02-Apr-17 19:11:04

Thanks for the responses, really appreciate it. I'm dreaming of calling her tomorrow and just saying enough enough, I won't be worried about damaging her business by landing her in it with no one to cover my rediculous work load, but both your replies are helping me to think actually f**k it, my sanity, happiness and conversely my kids are way more important that keeping her business functioning. Thanks x

daisychain01 Mon 03-Apr-17 03:36:33

I know if I walk tomorrow her business will suffer and our friendship will be ruined

Although I admire your loyalty, I'm sure she will soon get a new person on board, and it will be nice to get your relationship back on track as a friendship. I'd say it's your friendship that's at risk of suffering not her business!

Could you soften the blow by saying something bland like you've "decided to get a job with different hours because of the DC sorry I can't work with you any more". Don't go into detail, you just want out. Hopefully she'll get off your case if she is the good friend you say she is.

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 03-Apr-17 09:49:59

She is treating you like an employee when you are at work and not a friend (albeit not as a very nice employer). Therefore you must treat her as you would any other employer and resign if you need to. Whether er business suffers as a result is not your problem. It will suffer (if it does) as a result of how she is treating you.

unfortunateevents Mon 03-Apr-17 22:23:31

You won't be damaging her business .... she is doing that. You also are not ruining the friendship .... she is doing that by abusing your loyalty to her as a friend and piling a ridiculous workload onto you.

Uptowngal Tue 04-Apr-17 07:51:23

Thanks for your responses, I'm touched that you've taken the time and a lot of what's been said resonates. Yesterday I had an honest chat with her, told her my concerns and kind of handed in my notice (I'm going to make it official on Friday after a cooling off period. Thanks you all for supporting me through the bit where I felt like I was loosing my head xxx

FrangiePangie Tue 04-Apr-17 07:53:00

Well done. How did she take it?

3luckystars Tue 04-Apr-17 07:54:40

Apply for every job going.
When you get one, give her a months notice and tell her the money is amazing and you have to go.


It will be fine.

3luckystars Tue 04-Apr-17 07:55:33

We replied at the same time sorry I missed your post. Well done!

OhTheRoses Tue 04-Apr-17 07:58:13

It sounds like the wrong job for you. Be honest and give her proper notice and don't mix work and frienships again.

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