Feel as if hate campaign against me is still being waged even after being sacked...(23 Posts)
I was sacked by a government department last year, I believe my dismissal was unfair and the correct disciplinary procedures were not followed but as I did not have two years service unfortunately I couldn't do anything about it legally so they got away with it. The main reason for dismissing me was that I had two more days annual leave than I was 'allowed' to have under their absence policy.
I appealed through the department's internal process but the decision to dismiss me was upheld (what a shock, management sticking together).
Anyway, I won't go into the ins and outs and bore you all but my Line Manager was a known bully who has been moved from offices before because no one could work under her. She is aggressive, unprofessional and working under her is a continuous act of eggshell-walking as no one can predict her mood from day to day.
I still return to see my ex-colleagues sometimes, for example when someone I was friends with has a leaving party at a pub or just a general catch-up every few months to see people I got on with and whose company I enjoyed and miss.
The last leaving do I went to unfortunately my ex-Line Manager was there and started telling people she disagreed with certain things I had put in my dismissal appeal letter. I wasn't surprised by this as she is unprofessional and can't keep her mouth shut about anything but I was saddened that even after being sacked, the campaign to turn people against me still continued.
Earlier this week I went to a venue I used to hang out at frequently with a group of colleagues at the workplace and some of them were there so I stayed and had drinks with them. One of the group unfortunately thought it was acceptable to send a picture of me and another guy who still works there sitting together at the venue. One of the managers (not my ex-Line Manager but her manager who had the ultimate decision on whether to fire me) responded and made a comment via an instant messaging app implying I fancy the guy and he's not interested or something to that affect. Not true but just an attempt to humiliate me again, as if sacking me last year at the end of the working day and standing over me while I cleared my desk wasn't humiliating enough.
This whole episode of being sacked and the subsequent comments from both managers whenever I meet up with people I used to work with has devastated me psychologically. I am very down a lot of the time and am constantly worrying about what is being said about me now that I don't work there anymore. I have been left feeling emotionally destroyed, I hate to sound melodramatic but honestly, this is how I genuinely feel.
What I would like your opinions on, please, is are they allowed to do this? Just because I don't work there anymore, can they comment on my dismissal/appeal and make derogatory comments about me on messaging apps? Does this justify me making a complaint? I'm sick of being treated like this.
Let's start with your ex-line manager. From what you describe it sounds like there has possibly been a breach of confidentiality = disciplinary.
Btw if it's the same nasty bitch I'm thinking of, they are already are under investigation.
Why are you going to these things? It's obviously not doing you any good!
Have you got another job?
That said she is being unprofessional and it shouldn't have been said - I would've said it too her face in front of the others!
I know it's not doing me any good, I only realised that the last time though, I feel stupid for taking so long to realise I didn't have any true friends in that place.
I've been offered another job, just waiting for a start date at the moment.
I didn't have a chance to confront her as she didn't speak to me that evening, she just sat on another table and gossiped about me. I only found out afterwards. I'm not the confrontational type anyway though to be honest.
I think it would be good for you not to socialise with this group for a while. And for you to email HR to say that you're aware that your former LM is discussing your disciplinary publicly.
Try to move on with your life, and maybe meet up with one or two of the group in a few months at different venue to where you've been before.
I agree. If you'd only been there less than two years it's not like they were bosom buddies.
You took two days off that were unauthorised, then? They weren't annual leave days, because you didn't have any annual leave to use. By all means argue that they didn't use correct process, but it's not helping you to trivialise what happened as simply 'taking more than you were 'allowed' to take'. Obviously, there will be details involved, about whether you knew you didn't have enough holiday allowance for the two days in question, whether it was two consecutive days or two separate days (and in which case, whether you'd been informed about the situation after the first occasion), whether there was an opportunity to pay back the earnings, etc., but the fact remains that you were absent from work without cause for two days.
That said, they shouldn't be sharing confidential information. You could make a complaint. But I think you'd be better to give yourself space from your old workplace.
Sorry, I've re-read my original post and realise I stupidly said 'annual leave' when I meant to say 'sick leave'. To clarify, it was sick leave. As a new employee I was only allowed 3 sick days in 6 months and I had 5 sick days.
To you and the other posters who said I could make a complaint, do HR take such breaches seriously or do you reckon because I no longer work there they won't bother to take action?
It sounds like you were let go within your probationary period actually. Either that or you reached the end of your probationary period and they decided not to make you permanent due to excessive absence (5 days in 6 months is s lot). Stop hanging around these people and move on
I thought you were going to say they were bad-mouthing you to a prospective employer.
Do yourself a favour and get real about what happened. You're in denial that anyone is involved in a hate campaign, by your ex- Manager or anyone else.
If you really must keep contact with ex-colleagues, by all means go out with them, but honestly you're just asking for trouble turning up where your ex-Manager is going to be. You're never going to be bosom buddies, are you.
Can't you make new friends elsewhere and move forward not backwards.
You really shouldn't be going to leaving dos or other social events with that group at all. You weren't there long and it didn't end well. You need to move on!
If there are any colleagues you genuinely became friends with, you can see them in an individual basis. But you can't hang on to the group going to these events.
I would make that complaint - because if you are in the same sector for a new job people talk -
Line managers need to be discreet and she's in breach of that - BUT the others will know this and won't trust her
The thing is - unless her boss receives a complaint they can't do anything about it - but it may stand on her file
The thing is - unless her boss receives a complaint they can't do anything about it - but it may stand on her file
A verbal warning is the first part of the hanging process. What has the OP got to lose?
Thanks everyone for your input.
The general consensus seems to be that I need to move on which, although I agree, is easier said than done.
Just because I was sacked I don't see why I should never see the group of colleagues I worked and got along well with again, that seems quite unreasonable to me as I wasn't actually sacked for misconduct or anything close to that.
Work was a big social thing for me, interacting with the public all day and having a laugh with colleagues after work and since that has all been taken away I do miss it which is why I try to maintain contact with some of my ex-colleagues. I don't have a lot of family outside of work or a big social circle so yes, it has hit me a lot harder than most people perhaps.
I really want to move on from this horrible experience but I'm struggling. That workplace was the first time I have felt genuinely accepted anywhere in my life.
ScaredofPigeons it's hard to move on from the social aspect of a job, and you clearly invested emotion in the friendships and camaraderie you built. Those traits are positive and very valuable for workplace harmony. It's worth highlighting on your CV that you are good at building professional relationships.
A future employer will view that as an asset.
If you want to hang out with these people you've got to stand up for yourself!
Are you relying on this ex manager for a reference? If not tell her to fuck off and get a life, she's not your manager anymore and you don't have to put up with her pathetic bullying behaviour.
Bad advice, clem.
Do you really feel that's a useful way forward using obscenities with a former manager. All it does is shed the OP in a negative light and could alienate the friends she gained.
I think it's very unlikely there is any 'campaign to turn people against you'. Why would there be?
The managers you mention do sound unprofessional, however it would be very unusual for someone who was not in a workplace very long and was sacked from it, to keep turning up at these type of social events. It's not really 'done'. In between, the managers probably don't give you another thought. I think you're perceiving that you take up a lot more headspace for them than you actually do.
If you've made specific close friends, see them separately, at weekends, or away from work hangouts, but you've got to stop trying to hang out with a work group when you were sacked from the workplace and will still come across managers etc. They probably think it's very odd you keep turning up tbh.
You say you want to 'move on from this horrible experience', well, you need to do that. Hold on to any close friends you've made, separately, but in terms of hanging out with a work crowd, focus on developing those relationships in your new workplace.
I'm sure OP can decide if it's bad advice or not. I'm not sure why you feel she owes this bully the courtesy of being polite or rolling over and taking her shit?
If she has nothing to lose (not relying on a reference) she might be able to nip this in the bud with a few choice words to her bully, she doesn't have to do that in front of the others. She doesn't owe this bully anything and if she wants to continue to see these people it's important she's clear that she won't be a target for this person any longer.
You still sound very overinvolved , the grounds for letting you go were valid and before 2 years' servicw they wouldn't have even needed to go through that process. Have you worked since?
I'm not sure you should count people who are so willing to humiliate you as friends tbh although I fear it is you who is inadvertently perpetuating this. Maybe avoid leaving dos and general gatherings in future but choose exactly who you continue to meet. Also try to find non work based friends.
I don't really know what to advise, but if I were one of your former colleagues I'd be having a word with HR about your ex-LM and her LM's conduct.
I don't know that they could do anything with that information, but it will at least be in their mind the text time they force someone out of post (I'm guessing here that this is what happened, and that they chose not to use their discretion over your dismissal).
If she is discussing details of your dismissal in public or other information disclosed in confidence, you should complain to the HR department, but otherwise, as you no longer work there, you don't really have any recourse over her general bitching. It's no different from any other random bitchy person in your circle posting unfounded gossip on social media - not much you can do other than try to avoid her.
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