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Not Being Listened To

(10 Posts)
mooneus Tue 21-Mar-17 00:47:08

So as part of my job I am supposed to give feedback and advice to others so they can perform better. However recently I've found I'm not being listened to. The problem is I'm not their manager, I'm on an equal par with them so it makes it difficult.

But recently they have been rude and made a number of 'smart comments' after I sent them an email with some advice in it. this has annoyed me, as all I want is to help them and help the company. I'm sure they think I'm trying to undermine them but I'm 100% not

I've sent an email to manager about it (my manager is not their manager). While he hasn't formally replied or spoken to me about it, he did send me something that he thought would be useful for them and asked me to send it on - so I did, and not 1 of them replied.

I don't know what to do now. Do I go back to my manager and say they've done nothing? Do I pull 1 of the team aside and just say you need to be more cooperative because this is now being monitored by management? Or should I become like them and make a smart comment when they ask me something?

Any thoughts please 😁

highinthesky Tue 21-Mar-17 01:01:03

Re: feedback - it's better delivered 1:1 where you can take the person being coached through a journey, and allow them to come to the solution "themselves" with your expert input. A written action plan can come out of that as a record. Emails are notorious for being misinterpreted. Quite honestly, your talent management team should be supporting you here.

Re: the item to be shared. Did you state that a response was required, and by when? It sounds to me like it was an information email and not a task in which case you don't need to generate extra traffic.

highinthesky Tue 21-Mar-17 01:02:02

Welcome to the world of leadership btw grin

EBearhug Tue 21-Mar-17 01:03:39

Avoid smart comments - if this leads to anything more serious, you will need to be whiter than white, if possible.

When you sent them the thing their manager recommended, was there anything to indicate they should respond? If it was just a case of "receive this and read it," I am not sure it's reasonable to expect anything back, but you could say to the manager, "I sent this on Wednesday last week, but so far, I've had no acknowledgements, so could you check with them, in case it needs resending?"

Otherwise, it might be worth chatting to the manager, to ask what their understanding of your role is, and to see if between you, you can come up with an approach which would make them feel more involved and want to respond.

daisychain01 Tue 21-Mar-17 03:30:04

Do I pull 1 of the team aside and just say you need to be more cooperative because this is now being monitored by management?

I sense there maybe a disconnect between the efforts you are taking that are a management remit and how the messages are landing with the staff. If it's a management initiative, then your management ought to be giving out a general message to staff that this is important so please cooperate.

IME anything that doesn't get clear management endorsement just falls on stony ground and is either resented or ignored.

Are you the only person having to give out the advice? It seems unfair if it's only you, people might think "what's it to do with her? ". People can be quite funny like that and take exception to being scrutinised (as they see it.)

mooneus Tue 21-Mar-17 07:02:02

The item shared does require a response as it was a question if they wanted to do something and would involve me booking out a room if they did.

Yes I am the only person in the company in my field of expertise, so for now I am the only one who goes to them saying that work you did was great, have you ever considered xyz

daisychain01 Tue 21-Mar-17 07:46:06

Can you find alternative ways that dont involve focussing on individual people so your messagss are taken on board but people dont feel defensive. If thats whats happening. Im just guessing at what's happening.

Temporaryanonymity Tue 21-Mar-17 07:59:33

My job is similar.

I rarely send emails. I spent a lot of time getting to know each manager and the job they do. It is essential to understand the demands on their time. For example, I never ring before 10am and if I need to coach them through something I either physically go to them or book time on the phone.

I also set out the risks of not doing something or the business benefits. Frankly if the advice doesnt impact on the business in a positive way, or improve the customer experience then I know I will struggle to sell it to them. That is when I adjust my advice accordingly.

Are you new to the role?

mooneus Tue 21-Mar-17 08:05:17

I've been doing this type of role for 6 years but only in this company just over a year.

yorkshirepuddingandroastbeef Tue 21-Mar-17 08:08:21

In terms of getting a response back, you need to give them a deadline to come back to you.

"Please come back to me no later than 25 March to let me know whether you require any further training on widget building."

On 26 March, forward your email to the non-responders.

"Further to my email of 21 March, please would you let me know whether you require any further training on widget building ASAP."

Lather, rinse, repeat....

For serious offenders, you may need to phone them.

If you've ever done an organisational job, you will know that most people are generally crap at replying. You just need to keep prodding them. It's very time consuming to organise meetings/events/workshops much to management's disbelief.

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