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Suck it up or move on?

(5 Posts)
stinkypjs Fri 17-Mar-17 23:52:56

I'm really struggling to like work. My manager is new, and has terrible people skills. He is extremely condescending. If i ask a question, he usually won't look up from his pc. Hes loudly critical of his absent reports in the middle of the office. If I ask him a question, he will answer my question to a (favoured) colleague but then crow loudly about how he empowers people. He steals people's ideas and pretends they are his own. When we have catch ups (twice a year?), it's corporate crap - there's no human inside. He makes poor decisions, changes a his mind when they don't work out - but will never admit mistakes. I am really struggling with having to work for him. It's driving me crazy...But the job is flexible - and in the industry and position i have, flexible jobs are like gold dust. So i have to suck it up, right? How do i learn to let it go and not be wound up by him? Everyone has to deal with awkward people all the time - why am i finding him so hard to take?

daisychain01 Sat 18-Mar-17 08:01:23

Have you tried to book more regular meetings with him to improve the situation. Once a month is an improvement but ideally fortnightly. Do you deliver work just for him, or are other people involved? It sounds like an unhealthy dynamic.

How long have you actually reported to/worked for him, as you say he is "new" but go on to say you only meet with him twice a year?.

OllyBJolly Sat 18-Mar-17 09:10:15

You haven't described anything in your post that tells how his way of working directly impacts your work. It looks like he isn't a pleasant colleague and not a particularly effective manager. (And nearly all bosses steal subordinates ideas - not right but pretty prevalent)

I'd look at it a different way, Possibly he's an introvert and has poor communication skills. That's obviously a bit of a drawback in a management role and this will likely be a source of stress. He'll be over compensating in his behaviours.

As you say, flexible jobs are hard to come by. I'd try to find different coping strategies so that his attitude doesn't wind you up so much. Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Effective People is a good read, as are the FISH! books. The theme of fish is that if you can't change your situation, change your attitude to it.

daisychain01 Sat 18-Mar-17 10:08:23

I love 7 Habits, Olly.

In particular the Seek to Understand habit seems relevant. But as always with these theories they sound good in writing but trying to get through to someone who puts up a brick wall is very frustrating and demoralising.

Somehow the OP needs to build rapport with someone who appears to have an ego the size of a planet!

daisychain01 Sat 18-Mar-17 10:10:24

Maybe Sharpen the Axe is your best Habit OP (not to use on your boss!) - get those skills razor-sharp and see if there are other roles in your organisation. These bad relationships never get better, they only head in one direction.....

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