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Isolated within: team of 3: coping strategies please

(3 Posts)
Tirion1649 Thu 16-Mar-17 12:16:33

Have posted along these lines before but this time it's far worse. Work in a team of 3. The other 2 have become firm friends and, though they may not see it like this, they leave me out - in the cold, whether it's coffee breaks, working together on projects, anything social. And now, one has heard that she's been accepted for the same professional/personal development programme as the other - whoops of joy that they'll be both be participating at the same time. (I applied but am further down in the queue it seems.)

The scope of our jobs is rather limited though I try to forge alliances etc outwith the team and certainly get on fine with other colleagues. But everyday in the office is an endurance test. They're not overtly unfriendly but at times rather reserved towards me, as if I were an encumbrance. I try hard to be cheerful - to listen, to talk, to co-operate but it doesn't really work.

Professional Developement Review coming up with a manager who very rarely sees us but I'm wondering if I should mention, not in a moany way of course, that a culture of close co-operation between 2 out of the 3 has developed and it's to my detriment because I don't get the opportunities that should be fairly discussed and distributed.

I think part of the problem is that they are younger (not hugely, but younger), they don't have DCs and therefore more disposable income (they go out a lot) and perhaps that's it. In which case, OK. But that should't be a reason for precluding me - simply a case of different lifestyles, that's all. It happens.

If anyone else is in (or has been in) this position, how do or did you cope? I'll try anything! Thanks.

PS I am 'brushing up' my CV as one obvious answer is to get out but it shouldn't be necessary.

daisychain01 Thu 16-Mar-17 15:57:14

Its a negative dynamic you are unlikely to resolve because your LM cant order them to include you etc. Its 2s company 3s a crowd.

You could try to get on the same course as them but then youll feel obliged to stay there when otherwise youd try to get out. If they arent unbearable just do your job and leave the whole thing at work each day dont let it get to you.

Chottie Fri 17-Mar-17 19:41:23

I would try to switch my mind set and think of them as work colleagues only. Leave them at work every day and make sure you have lots of positive stuff going on in the rest of your life.

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