How to you manage work when dcs are ill?

(4 Posts)
Cloudhopping Thu 16-Mar-17 09:21:48

Just wondering how others manage when the dcs are ill and off school? I work 3 days a week and we've had quite a bad year in terms of dcs being off sick- nothing serious but too ill to go to school. In the last year I've had to take 4 days of leave to cover illness and my dd is sick again today, meaning another day off for me. My dh will take time off but most of the time it's me. He is self employed and earns more than me so the assumption is that it's better for me to bare the brunt. I think for these reasons he goes see his job as more important than mine.

However, I feel worried about the impression I'm giving off- I do everything I can not to go off sick myself (only 3 days off sick in the last 4 years) and to be seen as reliable etc I am lucky in that I can claim a certain amount of special leave for caring responsibilities but I still feel guilty. I know that my priority should be my children, and it is, but I find it difficult to balance building my career with juggling childcare-I only have an elderly dm to help us and I can't risk the dcs passing something on to her.

How do others manage? It's part of having young kids really isn't it?

BabyHamster Thu 16-Mar-17 09:25:09

I'm fairly new to this as only went back to work recently but have already had to take leave when DD was too ill to go to nursery.

My employer was understanding but yes I can't help feeling it gives a bad impression.

I think you need to have a chat with your DP though, it's really not fair that you should have to bear all of the burden. Over time the gap between the two of you will only get wider if you're the one who always has to be the default emergency childcare.

MairyHoles Thu 16-Mar-17 10:29:25

I rely on family, my sisters and I all work part time so there hasn't been an occasion when I have had no choice but to not go in. My partner would stay off if I asked him and has done doctor appointments etc when I have had important meetings etc.

That being said, I felt sick at work yesterday but stayed in as there's nothing going round at the moment. Came home, number 3 was sick everywhere so I messaged my boss to say there is, in fact, a bug in my house! I was warning her that if I get sick my appointments might need to be cancelled. She said she would rearrange my clients anyway so I can stay at home with him. I suppose it must depend on your job, I will likely go in extra next week to make up the hours as today I would have went in anyway, even feeling a bit poorly. I have been lucky enough with family that I haven't needed time off due to kids illness but if I would fully expect my partner to do a fair share of days off, despite his much higher wage.

flowery Thu 16-Mar-17 13:23:02

"the assumption is that it's better for me to bare the brunt"

But you're not bearing the brunt. Your employer is. And no, it's not better. Your DH needs to step up and do his fair share. You are entitled to reasonable emergency dependents' leave, but if you have a DH who is not taking his fair share there is obviously a risk that your employer will start to see the amount of time you are taking off as not being reasonable, because it's not strictly necessary, it's a choice you and your DH are making that your employer needs to bear most of the inconvenience, rather than half of it.

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