WWYD - Being bullied by new manager

[Unicorn34]

A bit of back story... I have been a "carer" for my husband (PTSD) and youngest child (anxiety and gender issues) for approx 4 years. During this time this has not had an impact on my ability to work full time (ie I can do my job, don't break down in the office, get on with everyone etc etc etc).

I worked for Company A from 2012-2014, left to work for Company B from 2014-2015 but realised I was better off at Company A and returned when a new role was advertised, have been back at Company A since 2015.

My original manager was lovely and supported me in allowing me to take the odd hour off (making the time back on a different day) if I needed to attend an appointment with one of my family. Unfortunately he then retired.

My new boss took over in November 2016 - he is a totally different person - micro manager, speaks rudely to people, very abrupt. I have tried my best to get along with him, but he is picking on me (I am the only female in the team of 6) - he questions everything I do, questions every minute that I book to a project (we have budgets we have to book time to as it's an engineering company), he has taken away some of my work and then questions what I am doing... anyway, the shit hit the fan a couple of weeks ago when he shouted at me in the office and I bit back. He has made me cry on several occasions which I hate.

This is the WWYD situation - I have started a grievance against him and have had my interview (last Friday) - the interviewer could see how distressed I was and decided that I couldn't go back to the office like it and sent me home. I asked if I could sit somewhere else for the duration, and he said that I could apply for other jobs in the company (there are none available) so basically I would have to sit back in the office with the boss while all this is going on. He is totally ignoring me, taking away my work, making me feel really uncomfortable - I feel that I am being pushed out.

I went to the GP and got signed off work for a fortnight, as the stress is stopping me from sleeping, I can't think of anything else from the moment I wake up... I am so unhappy.

Does anyone know my rights as an employee as to what I can do? Do the company have a responsibility to ensure I am looked after (ie not bullied)? Two of my colleagues have spoken up and they have backed up that I am being treated differently from the rest of the team. One even went as far as saying the boss was a Sexist Bully.

Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. I am now applying for other jobs outside of Company A, but this was not in my agenda when I first came back. I wanted to stay as its a good company. I feel like I have been made to feel this way and that it's not my fault that I have to leave.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Have you been there for 2 years or more? They can't just sack you then.

As far as I know (and I've been bullied) they can either speak to the bully about their treatment of you, has this been logged apart from your interview? Or mediate, but often bully refuses to co-operate.

I think but can't recall that if you left and brought legal action/tribunal then if your company isn't doing anything it comes under duty of care but unsure, would have to double check that.

I have to say (and goes for friends etc in these sorts of bullying situations, often this is very hard to resolve and the bullying usually gets worse for the victim and results in various feelings of feeling victimised, paranoia etc. it's also far more common than it used to be. Most people leave and hate to say it but I'd advise you look for another job. If other jobs in the company do become available then also apply to them as and when they're available.

In the end with my bully as I was brought very low in confidence to leave I had to have counselling with CBT to help me get through the bullying period/working with the bullies. After that ended I actually did manage to get another job, but I would not advise anyone to stay in their job and be bullied. If this man makes you cry regularly and takes work away is it really worth you working there?

[fairweathercyclist]

Does the new manager have 2 years' service? Maybe they should be starting a disciplinary procedure against him for bullying.

I suspect they won't though, as I said on another thread, HR depts seem incapable of dealing with bullies.

[MrsDoylesTeabags]

There was a time when I would have said stay and fight it. But now I'm ols a cynical, life is too short to be miserable, look for a new job and look into claiming constructive dismissal.
I'm sorry you're going through this good colleagues are worth their weight in gold. I hope you find a resolution that suits you.