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Pregnant off with work related stress

(17 Posts)
user1485778793 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:11:21

Am I over reacting to how my line manager speaks to and about me? Honest opinions please.

I joined a school last year. I was moved from a successful outstanding department in a good school to a school in special measures. The 2 schools are joined now to support the failing school.

Since I've been there my line manager has been the worse I've met. She gossips, tells pupils and staff what is on my sick notes. Harrassess me by text saying she's so stressed because I'm off ( I was in hospital following complications from a throat op at the time which she new).
She makes unhelpful remarks about my abilities to my face and pupils.
I'm pregnant and have been signed off with work related stress because of her persistent negativity. I have a meeting tomorrow to discuss the reasons why I'm off. This will be the 3rd time I'll be telling them about what she's saying to me, pupils and staff.
During the last meeting I said if it were to happen again I wouldn't want to handle it in an informal way. But now I'm not so sure I could go through with a formal greivance being pregnant and pretty anxious anyway.

Any thoughts...should I just let it all go?

daisychain01 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:48:30

I would invest some time documenting everything, in the form of a grievance document.

You can use your meeting with your manager as an informal opportunity to raise your grievance/s, to complain about specific aspects of concern.

Definitely doing let things go unresolved. Try to air your concerns constructively and clearly, and see if they are addressed.

If they just give you a bunch of platitudes, formalise it in writing.that should,focus their attention....

daisychain01 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:49:24

Definitely don't that should say.

user1485778793 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:53:46

Thing is she obviously doesn't want me there and has said as much. She blamed me for her failing her performance management targets, although her targets ended up being rewritten so she could pass them.

I'm thinking the only option is to leave. I'm not sure what has been said to my 3 other colleagues but 2 of them aren't speaking to me...they totally blank me. The 3rd is totally fine with me.

Schools are strange places

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Tue 07-Feb-17 22:10:14

How much time have you had off since you joined?

stroan Tue 07-Feb-17 22:22:03

I was signed off with work related stress during pregnancy, I also had issues with two of my managers. At the time, I didn't want to put myself through the stress of a formal grievance process.

Looking back, I wish I had done it at the time. My situation got worse during my maternity leave and I really hated the stress and distraction it caused when I just wanted to enjoy my baby.

Also, even if you don't take it further, please write everything down now in detail. Just in case you decide to take it further in future.

user1485778793 Tue 07-Feb-17 22:54:06

I had 2 weeks off last June and I'm signed off now for 1 month. I've also had 2 months recently for hyperemesis.

I hate this situation. I've never deliberately set out to upset my manager or cause her additional stress. She seems he'll bent on making sure everyone knows what I've put her through

CotswoldStrife Tue 07-Feb-17 23:03:04

OP, you moved to this school a year ago - was it not your choice but something to do with the partner-ed schools?

It seems strange that other staff members are not speaking to you and unfortunately, you have had a fair bit of absence in the year that you've been there. What have they said is the purpose of the meeting tomorrow?

user1485778793 Tue 07-Feb-17 23:25:59

The meeting is to discuss the reasons for my current absence.

I was in a temporary role at the previous school, the job I was doing doesn't exist there and was just given a permanent job at the new one based on references, I had no interview, just went for a look round and the deputy gave me the job.

It's quite a bitchy place. Because I've been off one lady was asked to help with organising some work which she refused because she said she was too stressed. I think the other woman is annoyed because I had said I would take her class to teach them a particular skill but I got hyperemesis and couldn't/wasn't there. I'm guessing these are the reasons.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Wed 08-Feb-17 09:28:13

The attitude of the other staff may connect to how your absence is covered. In my school, we don't bring in supply teachers so an absent colleague's classes are covered by existing staff. Thus, however compelling the reason for the absence and however sympathetic we are, we are also tired and stressed by the extra workload. And you have quite a lot of time off. But if your job is being covered by supply, I don't really get why your colleagues are upset with you.

user1485778793 Wed 08-Feb-17 12:56:19

I don't know why they are. I never asked them to do anything. They were decisions made my the head of department not me. We have supply, have had throughout my time off.

Going to meeting in a minute but feel so pissed off and angry at the situation

girlelephant Fri 10-Feb-17 22:52:00

OP how are you? How did it go?

user1485778793 Sun 12-Feb-17 20:32:51

Hi to update.

I put all of my points to them. They want to organise a meeting with me and line manager to discuss issues face to face. I've agreed as long as it's conducted with more senior people there. HR kept asking for proof. I have none. No one else was there to hear what she's said.

I feel awful. Extremly anxious and depressed. Very wound up and have really bad headaches at the moment.

I get the impression that it's going to get brushed under the carpet. My line manager may deny everything and make me look like an idiot.

Husband says quit now. The little bit of maternity pay isn't worth it.

I don't know what to do.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Sun 12-Feb-17 21:19:09

Surely the texts she sent harassing you are proof? And if she has told staff what is on your sick notes, can they be asked to verify this?

user1485778793 Sun 12-Feb-17 22:06:53

They told me I was reading her wrong. That she wasn't meaning to worry me.

user1485778793 Sun 12-Feb-17 22:08:18

Oh and senior manager said ' I can see why she would tell them what's on your sick note' union rep quickly jumped on that one reminding him that was grounds for greivance

Desperina Sun 26-Feb-17 07:23:27

Have you been keeping notes on her behaviour?

My line manager turned on me when I was pregnant and was recently sacked for it, so it can be done. Yes it was v stressful and confusing I was signed off for the duration.

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