I work in a professional role in a project environment but do not have people management responsibility (more process management but it's difficult to explain).
I held a responsible position for 8 years where I was fairly autonomous, trusted and reported to a senior manager. Predictably, the role changed as the project I was working on ended and I now find myself in a difficult position.
I now work for a manager who holds the type of role I did (her role is more senior to the one I held but it's along the same lines, i.e. she manages and is responsible for an entire process).
Although not friends, she and I have been friendly for many years but this is the first time I have worked for her. I know she likes me and respects the work I do - she actively pursued me for the role. I should also say that she has given me excellent feedback in appraisals.
However, since working for her I have become increasingly unhappy:
- She micro-manages me, constantly checking what I'm doing, have I completed this task, how I'm going about doing it.
- When I speak in meetings she often talks over me.
- She has, on a few occasions, stretched over me and taken my mouse out of my hand if I am not doing something EXACTLY the way that she would (even if the final outcomes are the same).
- She 'corrects' me on the most trivial things, for example, how I space an excel spreadsheet, the wording of comments or emails
- A new one this week is that she sat down with me after I had made updates from a meeting to check my notes and how I had actually executed the updates (these were very simple updates that I had been solely responsible for previously).
- She gives me tasks piecemeal so it ends up that I actually don't have responsibility for anything all at.
This behaviour has eroded my confidence, I'm constantly second guessing myself wondering if I'm doing things the way she wants. It's demeaning and demoralising.
My confidence is already low as I've had a lot of time out of work recently due to surgery then a difficult recovery.
I know what advice I would give if I read this post BUT because we have a 'friendship' it's very difficult to deal with this in a professional manner without falling out.
Also, she does this in between being very friendly so it's like stealth attacks that I don't see coming and don't respond appropriately.
Is this bullying? I'm really not sure. Does anyone have any ideas of how to deal with this? I am actively looking for another role within the organisation but it could be quite some time before anything is available for me.