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colleague who keeps trying to make me look bad

(4 Posts)
ATempUserName Mon 23-Jan-17 12:47:46

I have this colleague in our small team who is nice to my face but in her emails she will underline , bold, or CAPITAL certain sentences to emphasise her point. She also likes to highlight just how busy she is.

These emails nearly always have our manager cc in.

It irritates me because it is clear she is trying to make me look bad and show herself as more knowledgeable, experienced etc.

I've mostly ignored it as although we share a manager and the same small team, she is based in another part of the country. We maybe see each other once a month.

Lately I feel she is trying to 'take over' some of my ideas - eg I was delivering a workshop throughout the country and she said she would come along and co-deliver because she'd done that workshop before. She took over the whole thing. This led to my manager telling me I needed to work more independently and do more things myself - she's the one who barged in and took over.

Another idea I had to link in with another organisation - she got in there first and has made contact.

Now today she has sent me an email that has really pissed me off, cc to my boss, saying I have really upset her by dismissing all her ideas. Basically I wrote a report and sent it round the team for comments. She didn't just give comments, she rewrote the whole thing! So I sent around the original with amendments based on comments (not her whole rewrite) and now I get this email.

I'm not sure how to handle this. My manager has been keeping a close eye on me because thanks to her, he doesn't think I can work independently. If I complain or respond wrongly, it could make his opinion worse.

This woman disclosed to me a few months ago that she has mental health problems and marital problems. I don't think she should have shared this but its put me in an awkward position.

Another member of staff had a big fall out with her a few months back for similar reasons (this member of staff has since quit). I think the manager is afraid to resolve anything due to her health problems and the fact she's been in the organisation for about 25 years.

I'm nearing the end of my contract and don't know if I will be kept on so another reason why I'm not sure what to do.

I'd appreciate some advice on how to respond to the email and whether its best to just keep ignoring her as best I can?

ATempUserName Mon 23-Jan-17 12:54:26

wanted to add, she is the type of person who could accuse me of bullying, I think that might happen next.

I had to go to my manager's manager to complain about her a few months ago as she was sending me lots of emails complaining about the girl who eventually quit (and who is my friend) so it was putting me in a bad position. Now she seems to have turned her criticism on me.

Me and the girl who quit started 18 months ago when it was previously just this older lady doing the job so I believe she felt/feels threatened by us and this is the reason for her behaviour. Also as the rest of us are based at HQ and she is not, perhaps she feels left out but she's not inciting me to include her with her attitude.

daisychain01 Mon 23-Jan-17 15:24:54

How important to you is working in this company? If your contract is due for renewal, maybe think about walking. This colleague has 25 years' service advantage and it could be a losing battle if management support isn't there for you.

If you had said to me that your manager was listening to your side of the story, it would be different but I kinda doubt he's got the backbone to sort the matter out.

ATempUserName Mon 23-Jan-17 18:07:15

It's the latest in a series of events that have happened over the past few months and I'm starting to think they want me out/don't want to keep me on but I'm getting mixed messages. One minute this woman is friendly, then she does this. One minute my manager wants to support me then he criticises me.

Its an internal secondment actually. Don't want to say too much and out myself but I enjoy the actual job and want to be kept on in this role. It's public sector too so good salary, good job security. I am fed up with the company and the people. I keep thinking about leaving but all similar jobs are £10,000 lower in salary and I can't afford that much of a drop. I feel stuck.

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