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Aibu... return to work and boss wanting to change dates

(7 Posts)
spydie Thu 12-Jan-17 14:01:58

I'm due to return to work soon after taking a full years' maternity. This is actually my last week of AML and I am then on holiday using my accrued holiday.

I told my boss in June and July (2 conversations) that I planned to use a chunk of holiday and return beginning of March, on a part time basis of 3 days a week for that month alone to use the remainder of my accrued leave. I've been chasing my boss since September re using some KIT days and about confirming my return to work date as we needed to start looking at childcare. Finally in November he tells me he would prefer to have me back in Feb if poss as someone is leaving and it would be helpful having me back on board. I said ok that's fine but since I have so much holiday to use up (must be used by end of holiday year which ends in March) I will be using holiday each week to stagger my return. He's been particularly difficult to get hold of and it's just dragged on and on, despite me reminding him on a frequent basis as I needed to know as I needed to sort out a childminder. We met in December and I explained that I am happy to return in Feb during the week he would like me back but it would involve me working 2 days a week for about 4 weeks and then 3 days for another 4 weeks, purely to get through the holiday. He indicated this was fine. At this point I also submitted a flex working request to work from home 2 days a week from April onwards.

He got in touch this week to say his boss in the states thinks it would be too disruptive my working 2 days a week, and could I take more holiday in a chunk and return later. I said I'd look at it and speak to the childminder but I wasn't sure since she's meant to be starting with the CM in 3 weeks and I might lose her place.

Now on reflection, I don't particularly want to take more full weeks holiday than I already am. I was quite looking forward to going back on a pt basis to ease myself back into things, and also to appreciate the days off. I have definitely got cabin fever now!! I also don't want to p*ss my CM off by deferring her start as I understand she is holding a ft place for me and isn't earning any income from that right now. I don't particularly want to pay for a CMing place and not use it either. I have gone back to my boss and said that the CM is not happy to defer and I can't run the risk of losing the place as it's too late now to find an alternative. He hasn't replied and I am a little concerned tbh! Can they demand I take more holiday in one go? Everything has been discussed over the phone or face to face so there is no record that I have been chasing him this long, other than a couple of texts I sent him asking if we could discuss/chading him up. He's had 4 weeks since we spoke in person to run this past his boss, and I had specifically told him then that we had a CMer and I needed to confirm whether or not we were taking the place. AIBU here!?

daisychain01 Thu 12-Jan-17 18:40:37

Sorry to say, I've read your post 3 times and it's really difficult trying to sort the wood from the trees. smile

Please take this in the spirit intended, if you give these layers of detail to your boss, it isn't surprising he is zoning out.

if I were you I would draft an email summarising (ie only important relevant information) what discussion has already taken place inc dates and what you still need answers about from your boss. Quite honestly he doesn't care about your CM arrangements, he does need to know things like :-

-what you propose re taking your remaining annual leave
- confirm the date when you can return to work
- any response you want to make about your flexible working days request (eg can you compromise with 1 day a week at home not 2?)
- what answer you need from your boss if any.

If you want to share the email on here first before sending it, there are some very knowledgable folk who can give you advice and opinion. I'll do my best!

flowery Thu 12-Jan-17 18:59:29

Your post has several comments in it which make it sound as though you think you get to decide this. You don't. As long as you actually get to take your holiday at some point, you are not entitled to demand to take it when you want. Your boss's boss has a perfectly reasonable point that taking single days holiday over a long period of time and not coming back 'properly' can be disruptive, and yes, as long as they give you sufficient notice, they can refuse holiday requests and/or require you to take holiday on specific dates.

spydie Thu 12-Jan-17 19:27:59

daisychain sorry it is a bit rambling and confusing, I was trying to get across the varying conversations that have been had to this point as I really have been chasing for months.

The flex working request isn't an issue as such, not sure why I included it. But as background I was already wfh 2 days a week (as do all others in our team) informally prior to mat leave and the flex request is simply to formalise things so I can plan childcare around working and commuting hours. I have been told it's not an issue.

Flowery I dont think I get to decide. At all. But I do have to use the holiday or I lose it and I will not be paid in lieu of. During our earliest conversations I said I would like to take a large chunk as per the company policy and then stagger my return but it has never been a case of me demanding, just trying to keep an open dialogue with him.

I actually asked if I was allowed to stagger my return, as our mat leave policy states accrued holiday is to be used before returning to work. My boss said that it would work well for him and checked and was told this was fine. It was at this point, in November he said that actually, he'd quite like me back in February. I was happy to go along with this, so I've hardly been trying to make all the decisions.

He has come back to me this evening and said that it is fine to leave it as it is, so my frustrated ramblings are irrelevant really...

HelenDenver Thu 12-Jan-17 19:32:35

That's good!

Was about to suggest that he make an exception and pay you in lieu if that made it work, but see all is now resolved.

I also think, if he was to prevent you from taking your accrued holiday and the main reason it hadn't been used was maternity leave, they ought to give you an extension on its use.

daisychain01 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:53:58

Hey that's great you have resolution, that's the main thing smile. Sorry I probably wasn't the right person to comment, but at least I bumped it for flowery and helen who are better than me!

flowery Fri 13-Jan-17 08:46:49

Glad you have resolution. I was just concerned by things like "I told my boss" and "I will be using holiday to stagger my return"- it sounded as though you thought you were able to decide this rather than ask for it.

Anyway, alls well that ends well!

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