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advice re colleague behaviour

(19 Posts)
guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 20:28:30

a colleague has been generally disrespectful but has not done or said anything that I have felt unable to speak to him about.(eg coming in 1.5 hrs late after I'd contacted him and told him we were short staffed and please come in on time)

i have a radio at work (permission given in team meeting and formally agreed) as on night shift we have some periods of inactivity.There is also a team tv that others watch but I prefer radio.

i have often found the radio in a 'dead space' between a wall and the shared desk- suspected its been put there by colleague who shares the desk - today found radio in the gap and after retrieving it found out its not working-another colleague told me today that the person deliberately held the radio above the gap between the desk an wall and dropped it - spoke to my line manager who basically told me that as a Christian I should turn the other cheek and let it go

I bought the radio for the office but never reclaimed the money from work so effectively its my property- can i raise a grievance about this colleague's mishandling of my personal property?

i intend to speak to him in the morning but from past experience with him doubt i will get any explanation or offer to replace or apology if he says it was an 'accident'

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 20:30:11

sorry about the long post

OohhThatsMe Mon 26-Dec-16 20:30:40

I don't think you should speak to him - I'd put it all through my line manager and in writing, too.

"Turn the other cheek" makes no sense in this situation.

winkywinkola Mon 26-Dec-16 20:42:46

As a Christian you should turn the other cheek?

I've never heard of anything more pathetic. Your manager is trying to avoid the issue.

Buy another radio. Claim the money this time.

Keep a record of everything.

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:10:06

i've never gone to a manager before speaking directly to the person- giving them a chance to resolve the issue with me directly-

i spoke to my line manager about it today because i was so unhappy and wont see my colleague until tomorrow-

line manager has previously told ( i put this me his way of dealing with inter-personal issues between staff is to listen to complaining colleague -in his words 'flap their gums' and tell them he will 'have a word' with person complained about, but really intends to do (and does) nothing- then the issue 'just goes away'-

i'm more of an assertive person and wont sit nursing an annoyance and complaining behind someone's back, i'd rather deal with it directly

i am most annoyed about this particular issue- i never put the radio on when on duty with this person- i never object when he puts the tv on- but feel that i may change my approach in future

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:12:58

dont know where (i put this came from ! confused

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:17:08

i texted line manager ( who is on duty now) to say i'm, putting in a formal complaint- reply was 'i'm sure you will do the right thing'

CauliflowerSqueeze Mon 26-Dec-16 21:23:01

Text back "I'm sure you will too"

ilovesooty Mon 26-Dec-16 21:25:34

Why are you communicating by text?
Stick to email and keep it formal.

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:27:00

texting on work phones so all recorded and formal smile

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:28:39

cant text back 'i'm sure you will too' as i'd be telling a lie and my policy is not to lie or play games

CauliflowerSqueeze Mon 26-Dec-16 21:29:55

Well then say "could we schedule a catch up meeting regarding the outcome of this by the end of the week please"

guffaux Mon 26-Dec-16 21:53:25

good idea- will copy team manager in too

Stillunexpected Tue 27-Dec-16 17:36:07

Stop texting! Regardless of whether it is on work phones or not, it is not the correct way to conduct work activities.

guffaux Tue 27-Dec-16 20:12:36

noted re texting- it is a team communication route as we dont always see each other- for example i wont see anyone until 1st jan, and wont be in the office after today for access to email-

we dont use personal emails to send work related stuff-only work phones for texts-

no blackberry or smartphone equipment for team members, line manager and team manager have smartphones.

my team manager has emailed me and called me to offer support and to make a face to face appointment

SapphireStrange Fri 06-Jan-17 14:50:30

Late to this thread, but I think the 'turn the other cheek' comment is outrageous.

What if you were, say, Jewish and he'd said 'You've got loads of money, just buy a new one'? Or Muslim and he'd said 'OK, don't put the guy on a fatwa'?

All equally offensive and inappropriate.

Do you have an HR department? I'd go right over your boss's head and raise merry hell with them.

FilledSoda Fri 06-Jan-17 14:57:07

Gobsmacked your manager brought religion into it shock

guffaux Fri 06-Jan-17 21:37:40

am now waiting for a meeting with our team manager- he's booked it for 30th jan ! but 'might bring it forward'.

I know he's sounded out at least one colleague who witnessed the behaviour.

line manager has said absoloutely nothing.

SapphireStrange Mon 09-Jan-17 11:43:16

Good! Hope it goes well.

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